Oh Tacoma
by froggy411
Summary: Kira Murphy works with the Tacoma Charter of the SOA, in the office at Tacoma Auto and Cycle Repair. After her boyfriend leaves her, her relationship Happy changes. Will secrets from their pasts destroy the peace they find in each other?
1. Chapter 1

**Oh Tacoma**

SOA Fan fiction

By: froggy411

Chapter 1

"Hey beautiful; Got that invoice for me?"

"Yeah Koz," Not bothering to look away from my computer screen, I pick up the invoice laying on top of my inbox and stretch out my arm in his general direction. "Had it ready two hours ago when I called you out in the garage."

"Hey babe," He says entering the office, leaving the door open behind him. His dark brown hair is a spiky mess, his shirt grease stained, and his smile charming. He's one of the 'prettier' guys here. His summer sky blue eyes are enough to make any girl melt. It's unfortunate that he's got the libido of a dog in heat. There isn't anything that he wouldn't hit, and most of the time, the girls are willing to line up. "Don't get mad at me, the Boss had some shit that need to be taken care of. Got here as soon as I could," He crosses the small, cluttered office and sits on the corner of my desk, not taking the invoice.

"Not mad," I say still ignoring him. There's a mountain of work to get done before closing tonight, and I have to be out of here on time. It's my 4 year anniversary with my boyfriend. Things haven't been great between us for a while, but tonight I have a plan to get us back on track. "Busy, take it and go," I waggle the invoice at him.

"Busy with what?" He asks rising and leaning over my shoulder to see my computer screen. "You know Murph," He sighs straightening up "You really need to get a life."

I ignore this comment and concentrate on entering the repair orders on the computer. Only twenty three more to go, then I can go home. I glance at the clock in the corner of my computer screen. 3:30. Shit.

"You sit in here every day, all day, and enter shit on that thing, answer phones, nag mechanics," He wonders over to the filing cabinet, examining the spines of the log books on top.

"That's my job," I say, the steak is marinating in the fridge, I hid the hickory pellets for the charcoal grill in my sewing chest, some red wine for me and Sam Adams for him. Candles, going to have to set the table, set the mood in the bed room, shower, start dinner, do hair, makeup, get dressed. "Will you take this damn thing? My arm is going to fall off,"

"Well you could at least play solitaire, dirty talk in some chat rooms, look at porn, something."

I sigh and look up at him "I really have a lot to get done today, is there some kind of point to this or are you just rambling?"

"I don't rabble," He says "My point is sweet cheeks, that…"

"Koz, what the fuck is taking so long?" A gravelly voice calls from the yard.

"Take it and go," I say waving the invoice at him "He's just going to get mad if you..."  
"He'll hold for a minute," he waved off the man outside "Now as I was saying you are way too..."

"Koz," the voice has moved to the door way of the office, and it is not happy. "Let's, fucking, go,"

"Yeah, man in a minute," Koz replies, before he has a chance to realize who he is talking to. "You are way too hot to be hold up in..," a large tan hand closes over his shoulder and pulls Koz backwards, away from where he's been leaning on my desk. The other hand snatches the invoice from me and slams it into Koz's chest, knocking the air out of him slightly.

"Whoa man sorry, didn't know you were standing there," Koz says raising his hands in surrender. "I'm ready. Later sweetie," he says to me over the shoulder of the man with the gravelly voice, who is staring him down.

"Uh-huh," I say still trying to ignore the little scene. "Oh Happy," I call out as the tall tan man starts to exit the office. He turns chocolate brown eyes in my direction and I get the same shiver I always do.

"Uh," I start to fumble through the papers on my desk looking for the message that was left for him. I don't know why I'm so clumsy around him. He makes me nervous, even though we have barely spoken in the 6 months that I've worked at Tacoma Cycle and Auto Repair. "Here, Mary called," I say handing him the message.

"Why can't she learn to call the cell?" he asks no one, while scowling down at the piece of paper I held out to him.

"She said she didn't want to bother you, that it wasn't important," I shrug turning back to the computer screen.

"Next time she calls come and get me," He says "I don't care if she says it isn't important, come and get me" he pulls his cell out of his pocket and dials his mothers phone number.

"Okay," I sigh, digging back into my work. Twenty two more orders to go and there's only hour until closing. Shit.

"Hey honey," Sara says breezing into the office, her blonde hair wound into a French twist, bangs hanging dangerously close to her moss green eyes. She flings her waist length leather pea coat over one of the chairs and flop's her petite frame into its partner. The shoddy cracked yellow leather, chrome arms and legs not detracting from her beauty. At forty five she's still a knock out. Creamy complexion, large, naturally perky breasts, tiny waist, trim thighs and calves. I can't help but think 'God I want to be you when I grow up' as I look up from my screen.

"Hey," I smile.

"What are you still doing here?" She asks.

"Finishing up these repair orders before I head out," I say, looking back at the screen, almost done, only fourteen more to go.

"Isn't tonight your anniversary?" She asks raising a perfectly sculpted blonde brow.

"Yeah," I bite my lip and take up my typing. Sara has become a surrogate mother to me, since mine was on the opposite coast. I had come to depend on her and considered her a friend, hoped that she considered me the same. She knew what kind of trouble Max and I had been having lately and it was her idea to go a little over the top tonight to show him how I felt about him.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" She asks.

"Gotta get these done first," I say shrugging, "Boys will be pissed if they don't have enough to do tomorrow,"

"Oh I'm sure they can find things to amuse themselves with," She draws a cigarette out of her purse and lights it, offering one to me.

"No thanks," I decline the smoke, even though it would go down so smooth, would settle my jittery stomach.

"Okay," She exhales, and stands, coming around the desk. She grabs the arm of my swivel chair and spins me to face her, cigarette dangling from her lips. "Go home," she says around it.

"But I..." I start to object. She removes the smoke from her lips and exhales, turning her head so that she didn't blow it in my face.

"Go home. I'll finish up here,"

"Are you su...?"

"Go, seduce your man and fix this shit between you," She pulls me out of the chair by my hand. "I hate seeing you unhappy," She takes my other hand in hers and smiles at me "So do they," she says tilting her head towards the yard.

"I know," I sigh "I love you guys too, there's no way I could ever repay..."  
She cut me off with a look. "We've had this discussion. You haven't been given anything that you haven't earned. Now go, before I realize that I just agreed to sit that that machine and do paperwork." Giving me a big hug, and eyeing the computer dubiously, she all but pushes me out the door after shoving my jacket and purse into my hands. "I want a full report tomorrow," She winks at me before closing the office door in my face. I can't help but smile as I hear the lock slide into place.

Setting my purse on the railing, I shrug on my coat against the February cold, and start the trek across the parking lot to my car. Betsy, my trusty 1999 Hyundai Elantra Station Wagon with 115,000 miles on it, sits on the other side of the lot, leaving plenty of room for customer parking near the office. Her miss matched head lights wink at me as I hit the remote starter, a gift from the shop for my birthday in October. The great thing about working at a garage and driving a beater is that I get parts whole sale and the guys usually cut me a deal on the labor.

I chuckle remembering the last time that they pulled Betsy in for an oil change. Ant, aptly named for his tiny 6' 6" status, somehow managed to fold himself inside my car. Not an easy feet in its self. But getting him out had proven to be much harder.

They'd had to remove Betsy's door and steering column to get him out. Imagine my surprise and dismay at finding my car torn apart and the Jolly Green Giant wedged into my driver's seat. After several attempts at explaining why my door was resting against the hydraulic jack and my steering wheel was on the roof of my car instead of inside it, I tuned out. At the mention of a blow torch I threw my hands in the air and told them to fucking fix it or they would all be eating pastrami on rye with horse radish mustard and drinking Rolling Rock Beer until I could drive it home in the condition I brought it in. With the oil change and I was not paying for the extra time and materials that their stupidity would cost the shop. It had taken them three hours to get him out without cutting into the frame of my car, and put it all back together.

I spent that time explaining to several very angry customers why their cars weren't done. I was dealing with one such gentlemen when Happy had come in the office.

"Look lady I just want my car, I don't fucking care if it's done or not," He leaned on the counter, one palm flat on the top and the other pointing a finger at me. "You told me that it would be ready at noon. That was three hours ago," he said through clenched teeth. "I need my car, I was guaranteed that it would be ready on time,"

"It'll be just a little longer sir," I said trying to maintain my patience. He'd been a real prize when I had spoken to him at eleven to let him know that it wouldn't be ready. Now he was in my face, all over a brake job and tire rotation. "Your car is on the lift now, I can tell them to stop but, well, you might as well let them finish, right?"

"Yeah," he sneered at me "Its' on the lift, that's convenient. How long is it going to be on the lift sweetheart?"

"I don't know. I could..." I start.  
"Yeah why don't you go do your fucking job and check?!" He spat as he turned away to answer his cell phone, one hand thumping the counter in frustration.

I turned to walk out the door when I saw that Happy had been standing in the door way watching. His eyes locked on to mine as I noticed him and I think I jumped. Some kind of jolt went through me as our eyes met.

"Donaldson, Chevy Magnum," His deep voice rumbled, eyes shifting to the man ignoring him as he eviscerated the person on the other end of the line.

I nodded. His countenance never changed as he strode over to the guy on the phone, spun him around by the arm and tucked the invoice in the handkerchief pocket of his blazer.

"Pay her," he motioned towards me with his thumb, "Take your car," He slapped the keys into Mr. Donaldson's free hand "and don't come back," and he walked out. Mr. Donaldson nearly dropped his cell phone as he tossed several bills at me before stumbling out the door and running across the parking lot. I sighed moving around the counter to pick up the cash and enter his bill as paid. Hap made a fifty dollar tip that day.

That evening at closing I had gone outside only to find the garage locked up, all the bays closed and not a bike insight. 'Great' I thought as I turned a circle and looked for someone, anyone to help me bust my car out, but the place was deserted, and I was stranded.

Sighing I pulled out my cell and dialed Max my boyfriend, we'd moved to Tacoma from New York in August and he'd gotten work at a local distribution center. Not sure that he would be around I was not surprised to get his voice mail. I explained my situation and the route that I would be walking home. Thanking god it was November and not very cold yet I struck out towards the side walk, nearly getting run over as Betsy swung into the lot.

I stared in disbelief as Koz, Tank and Mikey climbed out of my little station wagon.

"Have a good ride?" I asked catching the driver's side door as it swung open.

"Yeah, I can see why you like this little thing," Koz said smiling at me. "Handles like a sport car,"

"Run any red lights, any speed traps?" I ask standing back, trying to control my breathing as my ears start ringing.

"Nope, we were careful doll," He said letting me move in between him and the car. "Just taking it for a test spin, making sure we put it back together right," I turn to face him, leaning on the open door frame of the car, while he leans one arm on the open door and one on the roof behind me.

"And?" I ask

"Purrs like a kitten," He says stroking a piece of hair behind my ear "I'd like to make you purr, kitten," he leans in "You know I can,"

I put my hand on his face to keep him back. "Does that line really work on women?" I ask.

"Usually," He mumbles through my hand. He circles my wrist between his index finger and thumb, and pulls my hand back a bit. "I've got others I could try if that didn't do it for you,"

"I'll pass," I said trying to pull away, but his grip tightened. "It's bad enough that you convinced Ant it was a good idea to climb into my car, then you threaten to cut it apart with a blow torch," I yank my hand free, and push him back a step. "Then I get to spend the afternoon with irate assholes that want their cars, but can't have them because you were fucking bored had to take mine apart! How do I spin that to the customers Koz?" I ask as he stares at me. Obviously this is not how he thought this conversation would be going.

"Have you ever said to somebody 'oh sorry you can't have your car because Koz didn't think your problem was interesting enough to be dealt with, so he had to create one that suited him?" I ask glaring at him.

"Well actually..." He runs a hand through his hair sheepishly, and flashes that little boy smile that usually gets him exactly what he wants.

"Shut up! Then you have the nerve to take my car for a joy ride?"

"Yeah well look, we didn't mean any harm," He begins, the smile wiped from his face and the gleam gone from his eye.

"I know," I sigh, "I know, it's….sigh; it's alright, just... if you need to borrow the car let me know okay? It's fucking cold and I hate walking." Deflated I climbed in the car and went home, only to find that Max was out, and the note he'd left didn't say when he would be back.

The next day Happy had come into the office to drop off his paper work and pick up the next round. "Oh hey, here," I said handing him the envelope with the extra fifty from Donaldson.

He raised an eyebrow at me, and turned the envelope over. "What's this?"

"Tip from Donaldson," I said sorting through the pile of work orders on the counter, Koz was getting oil changes and lube jobs for the foreseeable future.

"Keep it," He said laying the envelope on the counter.

I shook my head and slide it back towards him. "You took care of Donaldson yesterday, not me,"

He nodded and took the money before heading back to the garage. That was the last said about it.

Betsy's only had a couple of minutes to warm up and I've just put her in gear when the tow truck pulls up and parks next to me.

"Told you I'd be back beautiful," Koz says as he comes up to my window.

"Too late Casanova I'm headed home," I say.

"Nah, come in and party with us, it'll be more fun," he says leaning in my window.

"Can't hot date," I say, and smile when he pouts. "You know Koz if I thought you were even half serious about it, I might be interested," I say laying a hand on his cheek.

"Oh, I'm more than half, Murph," He say, smiling as I slap him lightly on the cheek.

"Dream on Perv,"

"You bet. Who are you going out with tonight?"

"Staying in with, and it's the same guy it's been for the last four years," I say "It's our anniversary tonight,"  
"Oh," He says, his smile suddenly becoming fake, the gloss put over it nearly invisible. "Have fun,"

"Thanks, good night," I say nodding to Happy who stands behind him.

The house is dark when I pull up and park in the drive way. 'Perfect, he's not home yet,' I think as I unload the rest of my anniversary present from the trunk. It's going to be a great night. Dinner, movie, desert in bed, just the two of us.

I unlock the door and climb the stairs to the apartment we've rented on the second floor, grabbing the mail on the way. Once I'm inside the apartment I relock the door and set the groceries I'm carrying on the counter as I go through the mail and hang my coat and purse on the hooks.

After washing my hands I start to chop the fresh carrots I've picked up to go in the pan with the steak working my way through the onions, mushrooms and garlic, before I turn on the water to boil the potatoes. Rinsing my hands again I grab the plates and flatware for the table I have planned. Spreading the dark blue table cloth over the little round table in the kitchen, I arrange the plates and silverware, placing a vase of grocery store pigmy roses in the center. Flanking them with the taper candles I picked up, in their clear glass holders. I step back to examine my work.

It's quaint, romantic, and simple. I hope that he likes it. The water has started to boil so I put the chopped potatoes on before heading into the bathroom to shower. I notice it on my way through the living room. There's something wrong. Things are out of place, the T.V.'s gone. Oh my god we've been robbed.

I rush into the bed room to grab the phone and call the cops when I see the note, propped up against the lamp on his side of the bed. KIRA stares back at me in his block hand writing, and I know that I haven't been robbed.

My trembling hand picks up the letter and slides the sheet from the envelope. A single sheet, saying in a few simple sentences that he didn't want to be with me anymore and that he was going back to New York. He didn't want a big scene and knew that deep down I understood his decision. He couldn't raise a family with me, my priorities and loyalties would always lie elsewhere. He took what he wanted; I was free to do as I pleased with anything that was left behind. Folding the note I slipped it back into the envelope with my name and curl onto the bed we had shared since we'd moved here, to numb to cry. I burned the potatoes.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors Note: Hi All! Just wanted to say thank you to everybody to reviewed my first fanfic story, and to all who added it as an alert or fav. Just and FYI but it's gonna be a while before anything happens between Happy and Kira. There will be little "fluffy" moments (I put it is quotes because how fluffy can Happy really be).

Koz is one of my main characters. I didn't mean for him to be it just kind of worked out that way. He's also a main source of comic relief.

Most of the Tacoma Charter is of my own creation. Mr. Sutter hasn't really gotten into their dynamic, or ranks for that matter.

Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from the Sons of Anarchy, or Happy, Koz and anybody else that I decide to use in this story. Please do not sue me. =)

Chapter 2

After a reexamination of my finances it was clear that I could not afford the apartment that we had rented. So my first priority became a place to live, one that accepted the cat he had left behind.

I was going through the paper at lunch time when Happy came in.

"Hey,"

"Hey," I say setting my habitat search aside and looking up at him. "What's up?"

"Here" he says handing me a stack of finished work orders, I set them in the in box and turn back to my paper expecting him to just walk out.

"Yeah?" I ask raising my eyebrow at him.

"Got anything else for me?" he asks, his face the usually stoic statue.

"Yeah," I say turning in my swivel chair and taking the folder marked Happy out of the out box, swiveling back around I'm surprised to find that he's standing on the other side of the desk now. 'How does such a big guy move so quietly,' I think as I follow his gaze back down to the want ads sitting on my desk.

"Looking for a new place?" He asks picking the paper up and examining my choices. "These are all smaller than the place you're in now. Max lose his job or something?" he asks.

Not understanding his sudden interest in my personal life I get a little defensive. "Things change," I say taking the paper back. "Excuse me,"

"Steer clear of Madison it's a bad neighborhood," he says taking the folder from the corner of my desk and heading for the door. "What ever happened," He says, causing me to look up "The clubs got your back,"

"Why?" I ask setting the paper down. "Why would the club have my back? Why do you care what's going on?"

He shrugs "Things run smoother since you got here, we make more money, guys are happier. You're upset, unhappy, they see it, they want to help. You're family,"

"I get your lunch, and arrange appointments, it's not exactly the same as what the rest of you do, that makes you family," I say.

"You want to get mixed up in that shit," He asks turning towards me. "Club life is hard, not what you're used to,"

"No I don't want to get mixed up in it," I sigh "that's not what I meant," I rub my forehead, feeling a headache coming on "I don't know what I meant. I'm in a terrible mood, and taking out on the people around me, sorry."

"You let us know when you're moving, we'll have guys come help with the heavy stuff," he smiles at me before he turns and leaves, and I go back to my paper.

With Sara's help I found I place I could afford in a decent neighborhood. The Mc Gregors, the elderly couple I rented the upstairs from, liked cats, charged a reasonable four hundred a month plus utilities, and didn't mind a loud stereo.

Barbus the cow spotted cat, and I were packed up and ready to move in at the end of the February. I had gotten rid of a lot of things that Max had left behind so there really wasn't much to move. After making on trip with a fully loaded Betsy I returned to my soon to be former address only to find a Tacoma Cycle and Auto Repair truck sitting at the curb. Pulling up in front of it I waved to Koz, Ant and Happy in the cab as I headed back up the stairs to grab some more boxes.

Propping the doors open, since I had moved Barbus into my new bedroom on the first trip, the boys followed me inside.

"Heard you were moving and needed some strapping young men to help lift heavy furniture." Koz says, flexing slightly.

"Oh, do you know some?" I ask, slapping him in the gut as I walk by, rewarded with an oof, for my efforts.

"That's harsh Murph" he says.

"Shut up Koz." Happy says. "What are you taking?"

"All of it," I say as I look around. "I can pack Betsy with the boxes, so if you guys could take the couch, chairs, kitchen table, book cases, desk, dresser, night stands and entertainment stand, I can get the rest,"

"And what do we get for moving all of this?" Ant asks.

"My eternal gratitude isn't enough?" I ask, batting my eyelashes at him.

"Not nearly," Koz says "I fully expect to be fed, until bursting, for lugging all this shit across town."

"Until bursting huh?" I ask hand on my hip

"One apatite or another," He grins at me.

"Creep,"

"Alright let's get going," Happy says impatience clear in his voice.

After loading the truck full the guys followed me to the new place, heading in first I propped the doors open and headed back down.

"You're fucking kidding me right?" Koz said looking up the flight of stairs "We just moved all this shit down stairs,"

"Yeah well get ready to move it back up stairs," I say grabbing more boxes out of my hatch back.

"Christ," He complains.

"What happened to the 'strapping young man'?" I ask.

"He left town about ten years ago, if you find him let me know, fucker owes me money," He replies.

"You're crazy,"

"Yeah,"

After two more trips 'across town' as Koz called it, and I am completely moved into my new place. The guys help me set up the apartment before I make us all lunch.

"Well doll, thanks for the eats," Koz says kissing my cheek "Great as usual,"

"You do know that I order your lunches right?" I ask stepping back "I don't cook the food you eat,"

"Oh, well damn, I've been giving you too much credit," he smiles at me. "Later kid,"  
"Later,"

"Thanks Murph," Ant says "Great Spaghetti,"

"Any time," I say "Thanks for helping me move. I couldn't have done it without you guys,"

"You should come out with us tonight," Koz says as they head to the door. "The garage is having a party,"

"Oh is it a day ending in y already?" I ask, feigning surprise.

"You should come," He says.

"Thanks but no," I say "As you can see I have a ton of stuff to organize. Thanks again for your help, drive safe,"

"Alright, but you will come out with us soon," Koz warns, pointing his finger at me.

"Yeah sure," I shrug, hoping he'll drop the conversation and go home. It's been a long day. Koz and Ant duck out the door and thump down the stairs. Turning to say good bye to Happy I am startled to find he has come up behind me.

"Here," He says taking my hand and placing a cell phone in it.

"I already have a..."

"Prepaid," he says "If you have any trouble, hit one and send, we'll be right there,"

"My own personal 911?" I ask raising a brow at him. "Who's gonna answer if I hit one?"

"Me," Seeing me start to protest he says. "Look it's none of my business, but we didn't move in any of Max's stuff. You're here alone, with only an elderly couple down stairs, and a cat as protection. You need me call," he pulled me into his arms and hugged me.

I was shocked to say the least, but it didn't take long for my subconscious mind to take control. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back, tucking my head under his chin. He smelled good; which was weird because he was a little heated from moving my stuff; like wind and road and man. His large muscular arms lock around me, as he folds me into his embrace. After a moment I pulled back and looked up at him. "Thank you," I say tucking the phone into the pocket of my jeans. He nods and places a kiss on my forehead before leaving with out another word.

After closing and locking the door I release Barbus from his carrier and start unpacking. Books first, organizing by genre the alphabetically by author. The task keeps me busy for a couple of hours, before I move into the kitchen to clean up the impromptu lunch and finish unpacking. Once the kitchen has been put to rights I feed Barbus and head for my new bedroom.

Our bed lays bare on the floor, having never gotten around to buying a frame for it. I turn on the over head light using the switch next to the door, and cross to the bed. Not our bed now, but my bed. My big, empty bed, one of the joint purchases he hadn't wanted. Sighing I grab the duffle bag with my bedding in it and make the bed.

The new sheets, comforter and pillow shams didn't change the fact that every time I looked at that bed I saw us. What we once were. The first time we had brought the bed home, the last time we had shared it, every night in between.

Tears sting the back of my eyes as I adjust the pillows, and brush wrinkles from the bed spread. 'I will not cry' I think as I stand back to examine my work. 'He doesn't deserve it, and I don't need it'. My breath catches in my chest, as my heart clenches at the thought of sleeping alone in this new place. Glancing around, I decide it's the bare walls, and empty dresser top that make things seem so strange. Usually I'm surrounded by the nick-nacs people have bought for me. The art work that Max….took with him. Shit.

Sighing I cross to the boxes stacked in the corner near the closet and start pulling off the packing tape. 'I'll feel better after it's all set up' I think as I move the now open carton to the bed and start unpacking.

Alarm Clock on the night stand below my brushed brass frog lamp, with the matching frog book ends holding up the copy of 'Fool' by Christopher Moore that I'm currently reading. Pictures of my Mom and Brother, closest friends from New York soon clutter the top of my dresser, while another stack waits to be hung on the walls.

Instead of his work I would hang the people I loved on my walls. I would paint the bathroom green and have frogs everywhere. I would buy one of those giant cat limb, scratch, posts thingies with the sleeping compartment for Barbus. I'd go with white in the kitchen.

White towels, white dish strainer, white plates, coffee cups, napkins. It would be a nice compliment to the light blue of the counter top and linoleum floor. A new slip cover would make the couch and chairs look like new.

After finishing off the boxes in my room, I moved what wouldn't be housed in there out to the living room. There were plenty of bare surfaces to cover with the things the people I loved had given me.

The large pottery frog watering can, covered in green glaze would resume his position on top of the entertainment stand, along with the lucky cats my brother had gotten me during his trip to Disney. Frog shaped tart burners, shadow casters and candle holders found new homes throughout the room, scattered over the book cases, and end tables.

Pleased that I was nearly finished unpacking I took a moment to drink it all in. 'Not bad' I think to myself as I debate grabbing a glass of wine before I start putting away my clothes. I'm saved from having to make that decision when my doorbell rings.

Checking the peephole I'm surprised to see Sara standing on the other side, a large gift basket in her hands. I smile as she kicks my door with her foot and scowls through the cellophane, trying to see through the peephole.

"I know you're in there," She says "Open up, I come baring gifts,"

"Hey," I say swinging the door open. "What's all this?"

"For you" she says shoving the basket at me, and walking in to the apartment. "Small, but cozy," She sighs, hands on her hips, as she looks around. "Expected a bigger mess. Leave it to you to be unpacked in four hours,"

"Has it really been that long?" I ask out loud.

"Well the guys got back to the shop at two, its six now,"

"Oh, lost track," I say shrugging, trying to pull the bow off the package without ruining the wrapping.

"Oh just tear into it sweetie," Sara says coming over to the island counter that separates the kitchen from the living room. "Gonna have to get you some stools," she says leaning on the counter, setting her purse on the edge, "Mind if I smoke?"

"Course not," I say turning to get her a saucer to ash into.

"Good, now hurry up and get that package open. I want a glass or two of that wine and there are some chocolate truffles in there from Petey's Sweeties on 5th and Lexington, that are just screaming eat me,"

I chuckle at her as the bow comes free, and the cellophane folds back. Pulling the bottle of wine out first I grab my corkscrew and open it. Setting it aside to breath for a minute I fish out the truffles from Petey's, and turn to grab some glasses.

"Sorry nothing fancy," I say handing her a tall glass. "He took 'em all,"

"Small price to pay," Sara says holding out her glass so I can fill it. Waiting for me to fill my glass she clinks hers against mine as I lift it.

"To fresh starts," she says taking a big drink. "Scary as hell,"

"Here, here," I say setting my drink down after matching her swallow. She draws on the cigarette, turning her head to blow smoke away from me.

"Best thing that you could ever do though," She says. "He was dead weight honey,"

"Yeah," I say looking down at my glass.

"Never had a good thing to say about anybody," She says "That boy could find the shit in a rainbow, and smear it around to distort the colors,"

I nearly choked on my wine "What?"

"You are too nice to be with someone who drags you down," she says taking another drag. "He was always declining invitations, making you feel guilty for accepting. No one was ever good enough for the High and Mighty Max,"

"Well it's not an issue now," I flip the box open on the truffles. Chocolate, thank God for Chocolate.

"You're right it's not," She says "You should come to dinner on Wednesday,"

"Uh, I don't..."

"It'll be good for you, hang with some people, eat some free food, why not?" she shrugs, glancing at me for my response.

"Okay" I say "What time, and what can I bring?"

"Dinners at 7 but everybody gets there early," She says "Bring desert, enough for 15 people,"

"Sure, any allergies or anything I should know about?" I ask wondering what the hell I was going to make that would feed fifteen people.

"Hap hates coconut," She says "that's about it really,"

"Okay," She's just about to stub out the cigarette. "Give me one of those would you?" I ask motioning towards the pack on the table.

"Thought you quite?" She asks sliding the pack towards me.

"Fuck it," I say lighting one up. It's just like I remember. The smoke stings its way down my throat, warming my lungs. The familiar taste on my tongue, the dizziness in my head as the nicotine hits my brain.

"Christ; that's good," I sigh out through my exhale, staring at the cigarette in my hand.

"Almost better than sex right?" Sara says winking at me.

"I wouldn't know," I say taking another drag. It had been a couple of months since Max and I had been intimate together, and even then it was nothing to write home about. He'd been gone for about a month, and this was the longest that I had gone without sex since high school.

"Well that's easy enough to fix," Sara says pouring herself another glass.

"Yea, meaningless sex with a stranger, whoopee," I say draining my glass. "Exactly what I was hoping for at this point in my life,"

"Doesn't have to be with a stranger," She says, refilling my glass. I raise an eyebrow at her. "Some of the guys at the shop wouldn't mind helping you out with that little problem,"

"Thanks just the same, but if I need to take care of it, I'll get a vibrator," I take a swig of my wine; this shit just keeps getting easier to drink.

She nearly chocks on her wine. "Jesus,"

I can't help but smirk into my glass at her reaction. Its' not every day I can make her stammer.

"What's wrong with my guys?" She asks, mock indignation marring her pretty features.

"Nothing," I say "Just don't want to be thought of as some sweet butt. If I go over there and nail one of 'em their just going to start gossiping like little girls, and hounding me for more." I wave the thought off.

"Think mighty highly of your abilities, there don't ya?" she smirks at me.

"No," I say "But most of them don't have a problem tapping anything with breasts. I'm kind of surprised that some of them haven't been banging down my door already,"

"Well it isn't like there hasn't been talk about doing just that," Sara says taking her drink into the living room and sitting on the couch.

"Oh, just talk?" I ask carrying the ashtray, and my drink into the living room. I set down on the floor on the opposite side of the coffee table.

"Happy put 'em in their place where you're concerned," she takes another drink.

"Happy?" I ask "Why would he care who I'm sleeping with?"

"He likes you," Sara says flat out, like its' common knowledge.

"Well I like him too, but you don't see me chasing off the sweet butts," I say refilling our glasses.

"Wow you really are dense sweetie," She says.

"What do you mean?"

"Does Happy seem like the kind of guy that helps girls move? The kind of guy who tells other guys to back the fuck up, where a woman is concerned?" she asks.

"Uh,"

"Yeah, uh," she says, making her point.

"Well it's not like it matters either way," I say "I really don't want a man right now. I really don't want to be me right now," I finish off my glass and pour the last of the bottle. "Oops," Standing up "Time to get another. You up for it?"

"Sure doll," She says "I've got a ride coming at 10,"

"Great," I say bringing over another bottle and the truffles "Now help me eat these or I'll do it by myself,"

Somehow, despite the two bottles of wine we manage to get my curtains hung, my clothes put away and the surround sound system hooked up.

"What are you going to do with all that?" Sara asks staring at the mountain of cardboard that has taken up residence in my living room.

"Right now? Not a god damned thing," I say flopping down on the couch and grabbing my glass of wine only to find it empty. My head feels like its miles away from my body, and my depth perception is wavering by large margins. Closing one eye, I hope to stabilize the coffee table before I start to pour another glass, when my doorbell goes off.

"Who the hell could that be?" I wonder, trying to judge the distance from the lip of the bottle to my glass.

"Don't know," Sara says, seemingly un-phased by the bottles of wine we had split. "Why don't I pour and you go see," She takes the wine bottle from me before I can dump it all over the carpet, and pats my hand as I look to the door. The bell rings again.

"Yeah coming," I call as I weave my way towards what I'm pretty sure is the door.

Forgetting to check the peephole, I pull it open after a momentary struggle with the locks.

"Yeah?" I ask leaning against the doorframe for support.

Happys dark eyes give me the once over, and I could swear that they softened a little. "Hey Murph," he says.

"Hey Hap," I say back, grinning at him for no reason. "What's up?"

"Can I come in?" He asks

"Oh, yeah sure," I say stepping back and gesturing for him to come in.

"Sara ready?" he asks.

"Just about," She says from the living room. "Gonna use the ladies room then we can go," She ducks into the bathroom leaving Happy and I alone.

Moving to the couch I pick up my refilled glass and take a swallow.

"Good stuff?" Happy asks picking up the bottle to read the label.

"S'okay," I say. "Got a cigarette?" I ask, amused at seeing the surprise in his eyes. Not that most people would notice it, just the slight flaring at the corner of his eyes. I couldn't explain to you why I had noticed it, other than I had started to notice a lot of Happy's little quirks. I liked to think it was just something I did to make working with him easier, if I could gage his mood; I would know when to steer clear and when to approach. He's a scary guy on a good day. I try to keep my distance on the bad ones.

He lights one and hands it to me. "Thanks," I say taking a drag, knowing that my head is going to be pissed at me in the morning.

"When did you take up smoking?" He asks watching me take a couple of drags.

"At thirteen," I say "Quite a couple years ago. Can't seem to remember why,"

"Handy," he says sitting on the edge of the coffee table. "Those locks come with the place?" he asks

"What locks?" I ask, than following his gaze to the front door I grasp his meaning. "Yeah, forgot to pick up new ones. Do it tomorrow," I say, curling onto my side on the couch. It's been a hell of a day, hell of a month, and suddenly I feel so tired.

Hap takes the cigarette out of my hand, stubbing it out in the ashtray.

"Hey, not done with that," I say frowning at him as he stands over me.

"Yeah you are," He says leaning down and scooping me into his arms.

"Where are we going?" I ask as my head lulls on to his shoulder.

"Bed," He says.

"I don't remember agreeing to that," I say teasing him.

"You're going to bed," he says revising his previous statement.

"And where are you going?" I ask, my fingers stroking the leather on the open flap of his cut.

"To take Sara home, then back to the club house," He says laying me down on the bed. "Here you go," He pulls the blankets up to my chin. "Sleep,"

"Happy," I call, as he turns for the door. "Thanks, for everything," I say sitting up and kissing him on the cheek. "Good night," I never heard him and Sara leave.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I hate the doorbell. It's going off again, making my head throb with each bing and bong. Someone had better be missing, seriously wounded, because only an emergency was going to drag my hung over ass out of bed. BING BONG. Someone had better be hurt, bleeding, on the other side of that door.

"Jesus Fucking Christ I'm Coming!" I yell, holding my head in my hands. "Lay off the bell!" Whipping the door open I come face to face with Happy.

"What are you doing here?" I ask turning and walking towards the kitchen.

"Brought new locks," He says holding up the paper bag.

"Oh," I say "Why?"

"Always change the locks on a new place, you never know who has copies of the old keys," he says following me into the kitchen.

"Thanks for the tip," I say scooping coffee into the filter before filing the carafe the water and turning it on. "I was going to go pick some up today,"

"Saves you the trip," He shrugs. "Cigarette?"

"Sure," I say hopping up to sit on the counter. He hands me a pack.

"Picked that up for you too," He says when I try to hand them back to him.

"Thanks again," I say. "What do I owe you?"

"Nothing," he says "Think of it as a house warming present," he shrugs.

"Dead bolts and Marlboro's, my hero," I say smirking at him. I hop down and rummage in my new junk drawer for a lighter. Finding one I light a cig and turn back to Happy, joining him at the table.

"Coffee'll be done in a couple of minutes," He nods his understanding. "Gonna go brush my teeth," I murmur standing up. Again he just nods "Help yourself to coffee when it's done, cups are in the cupboard over the sink, spoons in the drawer to the left of the fridge."

After scraping several very nasty layers of morning breath off my tongue and teeth, I decide that a quick shower will help me feel more human. Stripping out of the jeans and tee shirt that I had slept in, I adjusted the water temp before climbing into the tub basin.

God hot water is a wonderful thing. I let it pour over me for a few minutes, smoothing the kinks out of my neck and shoulders before I start scrubbing down. Ten minutes later I'm wrapped in a towel drying my hair with another when I get a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" I call out.

"Got a drill?" Happy asks.

"Drill?"

"So I can start on the locks?" he says, and I can practically see him shaking his head at me through the door.

"Right," I say "Um, should be in the closet in the kitchen, battery is charging behind the entertainment stand in the living room," I think that's where I put it last night after we got done hanging the new curtains. I open the bathroom door, thinking that Happy had returned to the kitchen, and nearly plowed into him.

"Problem?" I asked, but he just stared at me.

"Hap?" I say, touching his forearm, trying to bring him back from where ever it is he's gone. His eyes swing up to mine, and I think his coloring gets a little pinker, though it's hard to tell with how tan he is.

"Everything alright?" I ask.

He nods and turns towards the kitchen, leaving me to wonder what the fuck that was all about. I turn in the opposite direction and head for my room to get dressed. I've just pulled my hoody over my head when I hear the drill start to whir in the other room. Sitting on the edge of my bed I pull on two pairs of knee high socks, under my bell bottom jeans, I hate it when my feet get cold. Grasping the hoody by the cuffs on the sleeves I head back out to the living room.

Happy is knelt in front of the hole in my door where the dead bolt used to be, frowning at the set up.

"Everything okay?" I ask. He nods, not much of a talker, our Happy.

I pour a cup of Joe, sweeten and lighten to my liking and pop a bagel in the toaster, before booting up my laptop. It's time to see what the rest of the world is up too this morning. Once I've spread the cream cheese and entered my password I log on to check my email; Mostly jokes or funny pictures, nothing important.

Then I notice one from my best friend Carly, she's sent me pictures of her daughters, and my heart twists. I miss them so much, and feel that I am failing I my God Parent duties in regards to them. Katie is 3 and Maggie is almost a year already. Where does the time go?

There are family shots from their recent trip to Vermont to see her Mother; Individual shots of the girls. But it's the ones of my Mom and my Brother at Katie's birthday party that really catches me off guard.

Life goes on, I know that, and it's not like I wanted them to close themselves off from the world. But it is still hard to see them all together, having a good time, and know that I can't be a part of it. I send Carly an email thanking her for the pictures, exclaiming over how big the girls are, asking how everyone is doing, the usual stuff.

"All set," Happy says coming to stand next to me.

"Thanks," I say absently, focused on my letter to my friend.

"Cute kids," He says leaning down to get a better look at the picture displayed on the screen.

"You should see them when they think no one is looking," I say "They aren't so sweet then,"

"They yours?" He asks.

"No," I say turning towards him. Our faces only inches apart. "Don't you think you would know by now if I had kids?"

He shrugs, his eyes falling to my lips. I hastily look back at the screen, hopping that I'm not blushing as hard as I think I am.

"They're my godchildren, Katie, 3 and Maggie almost 1,"

"What exactly does a god parent do?" he asks.

"Um, well," I say standing up, his leaning over me is making me nervous. "Techniquly we are supposed to ensure the child is taught the values and lessons of the religion their parents choose," he frowns at me as I pour more coffee. "But really, it's like being an Aunt or Uncle. It's just a way to legally make me family. If something happens to Carly and Pete the girls would come to me,"

"So you're their guardian?" He asks, moving towards the counter.

"Yup," I smile at him. "Coffee?"

He nods. We sip in silence for a few minutes.

"What about you?" I ask. He raises an eyebrow at me. "Kids, god kids, nieces, nephews?"

"Nah," He says, "Not my thing,"

I can't help but smirk at him. That sounded so wrong. And what the hell is wrong with me that my mind immediately went to the gutter.

"I meant taking care of kids," he scowls at me, causing my smile to widen. "Taking care of kids is not my thing,"

"Sorry, it was too easy," I say, unable to keep the smile from my face.

"Uh-huh," He says taking a chug of his coffee. "Pretty good,"

"Thanks," I say leaning against the stove. "You drink it every morning," Referring to the coffee pots at work, which I get the lovely privilege of filling every morning.

"Guess that means I like it," He says

"Guess so,"

"Lunch yesterday was good too," He says setting his coffee cup down.

"Just spaghetti and canned sauce, nothing special," I say waving it off. "Honestly it was all I had brought with me, gotta go grocery shopping at some point today,"

"Well maybe some time, you could make me something special," He says coming around the counter.

"Like what?" I ask, not really sure what the hell is happening. The look on his face is freaking me out. I can't tell if he's going to kiss me or bite me, and there's a part of me that wishes he would do both.

"Don't know," He says placing his hands on either side of me on the counter. "Red meats always good,"

"Figured you were a steak and potatoes kind of guy," I say trying to smirk at him, as my palms get all sweaty.

"When?" He asks, his eyes boring into mine, trying to read something in them.

"Whenever is good for you," I say, trying not to be too obvious while swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Friday, after work," He says. "Payback for the locks,"

"Sure, okay," I say not knowing what I've just agreed too. It sort of sounded like dinner with Happy, but that couldn't be right. Happy isn't a have dinner kind of guy. I mean sure he eats and what not, but I never pictured him a home cooked meal fan.

"So got my new keys?" I ask.

He pulls them out of the pocket on his leather vest and sets them on the counter behind me.

"Want my old keys?" I ask, not really sure what he is going to do with the old deadbolt.

"Yeah," He says "You can never have too many of these things lying around," he nods to the paper bag containing my old lock.

"Hang on just a sec," I say "I'll just go get them. Over there," I point out when he keeps me caged between him and the counter. After searching my face for a moment he steps back and lets me retrieve my set of keys. "Here you go" I say handing them over to Happy after taking them off my key ring.

"Well thanks again," I say.

"I already dropped a set off at the McGregors," Happy says, nodding to the keys on the counter. "Let me know if you need anything," He says and turns to grab his coat before heading to the door. "Thanks for the coffee. See you Friday night" and he's gone. I wish my hang over had gone with him.

Later that day I run out to the store to pick up some food and essentials, do my laundry, since the apartment doesn't have a washer or dryer, and check in at my favorite little book store, wondering if my latest order was in.

After loading Betsy to damn near her weight capacity I headed back to the apartment. I couldn't bring myself to call it home yet, just didn't feel like it, and unloaded the car.

Barbus seemed to be perfectly content, having spotted the McGregors bird feeders outside the window in the living room. He whiled away his day dreaming of killing the flying things and basking in the sun. For a cat he had it made.

Time went on; I went to my second Family Dinner that Wednesday night.


	4. Chapter 4

Author Note: First, thank you to all who have reviewed and added the story to your alert or fav list. Your support is greatly appreciated.

In this chapter I introduce more of the Tacoma Charter (and a few old ladies).

Sara is married to Bob (the pres of the charter in my universe). So she's sort of a Gemma, but that's all explained below. Happy reading.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and make money off of nothing.

Chapter 4

After spending three days trying to decide what to bring I figured it was high time the boys were introduced Tiramisu. I mean how can you go wrong? Coffee soaked lady fingers, mascarpone cheese, kholulah, and heavy cream whipped and chilled.

Carrying the frozen concoction in a Tupper ware container, two large grocery bags, and a case of beer, I rang Sara's bell and waited, hoping that my arms didn't give out, before someone got to the door.

"Hey," a familiar gravelly voice greats me.

"Hey" I say, unable to see him over the groceries.

"Need a hand," He asks taking the bags from in front of my face.

"Thanks," I say readjusting my grip.

"Where do you want these?" he asks hefting one to into his arms, dangling the other from his hand.

"Kitchen?" I shrug. "I hope," I add with a smile.

He turns and leads the way, I my smile spreading upon hearing the bee hive hum of kitchen appliances and woman's chatter. I can smell the chicken baking before I've even hit the hallway.

"Hey Hap," Sara says pushing her bangs out of her eyes, as he walks in the kitchen. "Need something?"

"Delivery," He says setting the bags on the counter, and moving to the fridge for a beer.

"So not just food I see," She says grinning "But help, set that stuff down and dig in honey. It's rough cooking for fifteen,"

"Sixteen," Cheryl says. "Koz brought a friend," rolling her honey brown eyes towards the ceiling.

"Seventeen," Marlene adds as she comes in carrying a large casserole dish, full of baked beans.

"Is that punishment?" I ask "Those poor girls," I sigh.

"Poor girls?" Marlene asks raising an eyebrow at me. "Their blood sucking leeches, only after one thing,"

"Hence the sucking," I say setting the beer on the kitchen table. "Who's seventeen?"

"Some tart Mikey met at the convenient store on the way over here,"

"Really?" I ask Sara, surprised if that's the truth. She isn't too fond of strangers poking around in her home.

"Her name is Michelle," Sara says chopping potatoes. "She's a good girl. I work with her mom on the beautification counsel,"

"He met her at the gas station?" I ask washing my hands.

"Ran into her there," She shrugs "They went to high school together, and god that makes me feel old,"

"So what makes her a tart?" I ask Marlene.

"Who gets on a bike with a guy she barely knows, to have dinner at the house of someone else she barely knows," She slides the beans into the oven. "Just isn't right,"

"I told her it was," Sara said, stabbing her knife into the butcher block she was using for the potatoes. "Let it go," She warned. "As for the sweet butt, nothing we can do. Koz is family and he's entitled to bring who he wants into my home. They've all been told as much and so have each of you,"

The women lapse into silence. Each going about their tasks to prepare dinner, thinking over what Sara has just said. I had finished putting the groceries away, and was wondering what to do with the beer. There was no room in the fridge.

"Where do you want this thing?" I ask Sara.

"Cheryl; take that out back, load it into the ice tub," She says.

Cheryl complies, having finished her part of the preparation.

"Marlene? Why don't you go check on the kids?" Sara suggests.

"Which ones?" Marlene smiles at her. "Big or little,"

"Both," Sara smiles back at her, and all is forgiven between them.

Marlene wipes her hands and ducks out of the kitchen into the fray in the living room.

Thankful that I wasn't sent into the trenches, I step up to the counter across from Sara.

"What can I do?" I ask.

"All this has to be chopped up," She motions down the counter.

"Do they actually eat salad?" I ask raising my eyebrow at her.

"No, but they do eat their veggies, even if you have to trick them into doing it," she replies.

"And just how do you do that?" I ask.

"Grab and knife and learn baby girl," She says.

We fried collie flower, boiled corn on the cob, buttered potatoes to within an inch of their life. Mushrooms, onions and peppers were pan sired with the steak and baked with the chicken. Beans were covered in bacon and smothered in barbeque sauce. Carrots, scallions and celery were baked into stuffing, and it was all consumed at a table that seated twenty.

Sara had asked me to make Michelle feel welcome, since she knew that Marlene and Cheryl weren't capable of that with her yet. So I sat myself next to her during dinner and chatted her up.

Turns out she's a librarian, just graduated from Washington State with her Masters degree in Library Sciences. She had come home to get her bearings while looking for a job. Much to her delight she had been hired at the Tacoma Public Library near her childhood home. She'd been there for three months now and was looking for a place of her own now that she knew she could afford one. She didn't want to move to far from her parents who were getting up there in years. Not that they were old, by any means.

She was sweet, caring, considerate and totally smitten with Mikey. I wish both of them the best of luck with that.

The life these guys lead is a hard one, full of pain, hurt, and violence. It was dangerous, for them, for their families, the people they cared about. Families and women are supposed to be off limits, but the enemy, whichever one that turned out to be at the time, doesn't always play by the rules. I just hoped Michelle knew what she was getting into.

Tank and Ant are chiding Mikey about his new girl, quietly enough that she doesn't catch on, thank goodness. Poor kid, if they didn't lay off soon, his ears look like they're going to pop right off his head. It always strikes me as strange that these tough guys, these manly men, blush, stutter, and fumble just like everybody else. When it comes to women who matter, and their children, these brutes, these warriors morph into Teddy Bears. Okay teddy bears with really big teeth and razor sharp claws, but teddy bears none the less.

Sara and her husband Bob, the Tacoma Charter president, were sitting at the head of the table. Marlene and her husband Torch sat to Bob's right, fitting Torch's place as Sergeant at Arms. Happy sits on Bob's left as Vice President of the club, looking totally relaxed, hands folded across his stomach as he leans back in his chair. His plate scraped clean. Koz, to Happy's right, was rambling on about some recent escapade the boys had had on a run, completely ignoring the chick he brought.

Cheryl and her husband Tank, the club treasurer are on Torch and Marlene's right, next to Ant. Clutch, his girl Marcy, Digger and Hammer round out the other end of the table. Everyone has fallen into conversations, and is pretty much done eating. Glancing at Sara, she nods at me and we start to clear the table, loading our arms with plates and cutlery.

The guys pile back into the living room, while I help Sara start coffee and put away leftovers. We make up containers to be taken to the shop for the guys tomorrow, stacking them in the fridge. Once that's done I get out the Tiramisu while Sara grabs the bowls. We fill the bottom of each bowl with lady fingers, add an ice cream scoop of Tiramisu, a dollop of whipped cream, and a drizzle of chocolate sauce before loading trays and taking desert to the living room.

The couch, that normally seats five comfortably, is packed, holding Bob, Torch, Marlene, Koz with his date on his lap, and Digger. Digger taking up enough space for two average sized people.

He's thirty, six feet three inches tall, Samoan. Dark eyes, black hair, and the kindest smile of anyone I've ever met. He's at least two of me wide; his thigh is as big around as my waist. Not someone I would fuck with.

Hammer, mid-twenties prospect for the club, is whipcord thin, with stringy brown hair, soft gray eyes, and a handle bar mustache (don't ask me why), is sitting on one of the smaller couches Sara likes to call love seats, with Clutch and Marcy.

Clutch and Marcy have been together for a little over a year, having hooked up right after Clutch was patched in. No one could figure out why he hadn't made her his old lady yet, but it was understood that she was off limits. They were a nice contrast to each other; Marcy with her soft sweet face, while Clutch was all sharp angles. Marcy was petite and while Clutch has long almost gangly limbs. Her hair is a soft brown, his, a striking red. Both are pale as paper. I imagine that the dislike of direct sunlight was common ground for them.

Cheryl and Tank took the other 'love seat' with Ant, Mikey and Michelle, who perched on the arm of the sofa. Happy was leaning against the wall, standing a little bit apart from everyone, just watching as the various group interacted.

Sara and I passed out desert.

"Here honey, take is over to Happy," She says handing me two bowls and spoons. I assume one is for me.

"Here ya go," I say handing him the dish.

"What is it?" He asks tilting the bowl left then right, while glaring at its contents.

"Tiramisu," I say.

"Like ice cream?" He asks.

"More like custard. Try it," I say spooning some up for myself. "There's liquor in it," I add as an insensitive.

He eyes be dubiously, but takes a taste. Not saying a word he takes another, and I just shake my head as I walk back over to the couch, sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. I chat with Barbra ("just call me Barbie") the girl Koz has brought.

I've seen her at the shop before and know that Koz isn't the only member she is currently sleeping with. But she seems to know the rules as far as that is concerned. She's respectful to Sara and the other wives and old ladies, and is always down for the guys if they need a hand (and not just in their pants).

She works at Total Beauty, the local salon, doing hair. She likes her job, and the people that she works for, has been there for several years.

"You should come in sometime," She says eyeing my hair. "I could give you a trim, make you look uber hot. Maybe some high lights," Her eyes start to lose focus and I know that she is planning a whole "day of beauty" probably involving hot wax, hair dye and emery boards.

"Sure, sounds good," I say grabbing my bowl as I stand up. "Can I take that for you?" I ask, pointing to her desert.

"Oh sure," she says passing it to me "Koz, you done with that?" She asks taking the empty bowl from his hand, while he continues to talk with Torch. Marlene and Torch pass their empties down as well and before I know it I'm carrying nearly all the dirty dishes back to the kitchen.

After loading the bowls into the sink I turn on the water, and grab the sponge, fully intending to wash the dishes. My mind drifts as I stare out the window, while scrubbing out the first few bowls.

Tonight was a good night. I had fun cooking with the girls, I got to know two new people, and reaffirm my feelings for each of the guys I work with. They were all like brothers to me. I would do anything for them. They had taken me in and given me a chance when I was down and out. Not that they knew just how down and out, but Sara had a pretty good idea of how it was.

I can't believe that I've been here for over half a year. I can't believe I stayed after Max left. Well it wasn't like I had the money to go home after he cleaned out half of our joint checking account and all the cash stashed in the apartment. Something else I never told Sara, she'd have had him shot. And while I love my family and miss them to the point of aching sometimes, it's better that I get through this shit here. There's no reason to drag them through more than they already have been through on my behalf.

Thanks to the internet and camera's built into computers we can see each other any time. While it isn't the same as physically being there, it's the next best thing. And Carly said she'd be coming out for a visit this spring. Things were strained between her and Pete right now, and she thought a little vacation from him and the kids was just what she needed.

Planning where we would go and what we would do while she was here, I didn't hear Happy come into the kitchen. He stepped up behind me, laying a hand on my hip, while the other deposits a bowl in the sink. I stiffen at his touch, my gaze flicking to his reflection in the window.

"You okay?" He asks my reflection. I manage to nod, still holding the sponge, soapy water dripping from my hand into the sink.

"Just startled me," I say smiling at him. "Guess I was daydreaming,"

"You looked like you were a million miles away," He says, his hand still resting on my hip, the warmth from his palm seeping into my skin through my jeans. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Friend of mine is coming to town after winters over with. Just thinking of all the stuff I want to show her," I dunk the bowl in the water and resume KP duty. Looking at Happy in the reflection from the window is making me jittery and I wish he would back up; only to feel regretful when he does. What the hell is wrong with me?

Instead of leaving the kitchen he leans again the counter next to the dish strainer, crossing his arms over his chest, and his feet at the ankles.

"So what have you got planned?" He asks.

"Huh?" I can't seem to remember what we were talking about; all of my attention had shifted to the spot on my hip that was now cooling. "Oh um, well defiantly have to go to Woodbury Park, Meteora's, Petey's Sweeties and Cheryls," I say.

"What do they sell at Meteora's?" He asks.

"Books, usually rare, hard to find stuff, vintage stuff," I shrug. "Susanne the owner orders stuff for me. She's really nice. The shop is cozy without being cluttered. And the smell," I inhale thinking of the smell of book bindings, old paper and ink. That earthy smell that accompanies any book that has been well used, and handed down through the years.

"What smell?" He actually wrinkles his nose at me.

"Old book smell," I sigh "Earthy,"

He smiles "Yeah I noticed you liked to read," He says "How many boxes of books did we carry up those stairs?"

"Oh, just twelve, thirteen at the most," I say smirking at him.

"Have you read all of them?"

"Yeah, most several times actually,"

"Koz was right," He says "You need a life,"

"I happen to like my life, thank you very much," I say rinsing another bowl and placing it in the strainer. "You know you could dry those dishes instead of just standing there,"

Much to my amazement and amusement he actually picks up a dishcloth and starts drying the dishes. We work in silence for several minutes.

"Do you read?" I ask, my curiosity finally getting the better of me.

"Yeah," He says "But it's mostly magazines, repair manuals," He shrugs. I nod.

"Got a favorite kind?" He asks me.

"Favorite Author is Christopher Moore," I say "His work is hard to classify. It's funny, but there are a lot of supernatural undertones throughout his body of work. His characters are sarcastic, but relatable, since usually they're your average Joe,"

Happy nods this understanding "What's your favorite book by him?"

"Oh, tough one," I say handing him the last dish, and draining the sink. "Right now Fool, before that Lamb, but anything staring the cast from Pine Grove is good too,"

He raises and eyebrow as if to say "Pine Cove?"

"Fictional place invented by the author. They have a pot smoking sheriff, a psychotic ex-b movie star currently off her meds, the rusty old bar patroness, the blues player from down south, and several assorted Demons, Genies, and Monsters," I explain "Oh and an Angel just to balance the scales,"

"Sounds like quite a place," He says.

"I'll loan you a couple of the books if you want," I offer.

"Sure," he says "We still on for Friday?"

"Picked up the stuff for dinner when I went shopping tonight for desert," I dry my hands and hang the towel on the handle to the oven door. "I can't remember the last time I spent this much time in a kitchen," Leaning against the counter I pull out my pack of cigarettes and light one, tilting the pack towards Hap.

He steps forward and takes a smoke from the pack, leaning down as I lift the lighter to the end.

"Need me to bring anything?" He asks.

"Nope," I shake my head. "Got it covered," He nods, but still hasn't stepped back, and doesn't, even when I reach around him to ash in the sink. He continues to stare down at me as we smoke, slight frown lines peeking out around his eyes, and on his forehead.

I take a drag and look down at my feet, uncomfortable.

"Kira," He says, stepping closer. My gaze returns to his face, and I can feel my eyes grow wide at the struggle I see in his.

"Happy?" I say, wondering what's about to happen, and thinking I know. His free hand comes up and cups my cheek as he steps closer. My breath catches at his touch, and my fingers twitch, longing to run up his chest and lock together behind his neck. My heart pounds in my chest, as he leans in…

"Hey Hap ready to…," Koz swings into the kitchen "Well, well, well," He says catching us as Happy steps back. "What have we here?"

"Nothing," Happy says, his eyes never leaving mine. "Let's go,"

"Didn't look like nothing," Koz says as Happy walks over to him. "Looked to me like you were about to…," Happy shuts him up by grabbing the front of his shirt and dragging him out of the room.

"Fucking Idiot," Sara mumbles as she steps out of the pantry. "Just when things were starting to get good too,"

"And how long have you been there?" I ask hoping taking a drag will calm me down. Christ he didn't even do anything, and I'm all stirred up.

"Well I know a lot more about Christopher Moore then I ever cared to," She says resting her elbows on the counter and leaning on her crossed forearms. "Why didn't you tell me he was coming over for dinner?"

I shrug "It's just dinner,"

"Honey, if it was just dinner you would have told me about it," She shakes her bangs out of her eyes. "And from what I just witnessed I don't think he wants it to be just dinner either,"

Trying to hide the blush on my cheeks I turn away.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed and added this story to your favs or alert list. Your support is greatly appreciated.

As for Kira's family and why she's in Tacoma, it all gets explained eventually, but since it's part of the plot I'm don't really want to spoil anything. Happy and Kira will hook up before anything is reveiled about all that.

Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I profit from nothing.

Chapter 5

It had been a busy week at the shop and on my social calendar. When I was with Max we barely went out together, we never had people over. Now in the span of a week I had met a handful of new people, been to a party and was having an attractive man over for dinner.

Friday rolled around, and about lunchtime Happy came into the office.

"Got the work orders for ya," He says, setting them in the inbox on my desk.

"Great, thanks," I say, thankful that I don't have to go out in garage to collect them. It's cold, and the wind is gusting straight out of Canada. Global warming my ass.

"Staying warm in here?" He asks eyeing the heating vent. I hear that the heating system is temper mental although I haven't had any problems with it so far this winter.

"Yep," I say turning to grab the next stack of repair orders from the out box. "You guys?"

"Yeah," He says taking the stack from me.

"Good," I say turning back to the computer. "See you later?"

"Yeah," he smiles at me before heading back to work.

A couple of hours later Koz and Mikey roll back into the lot with the latest repo attached to the tow truck. Leaving Mikey to unhook it, Koz brings the paper work into the office.

"Hey sunshine," He says leaning on my desk.

"Hey Koz," I say. I haven't really seen Koz since the night of Sara's dinner, and am hoping that Happy set him right about what he walked in on. "Got those repair orders for me?"

"Uh?" he straightens and runs a hand through his hair. "Left them out in the garage. I'll get 'em to you later,"

"Well, what's up?" I ask, turning to look at him.

"About your dinner with Hap," He has the good grace to actually look abashed about bringing up the subject.

"What about it?" I ask, leaning back in my chair, crossing my hands over my stomach. "It's just dinner,"

"Maybe," Koz says. "But there hasn't been 'just dinner' in Hap's life for a long time, and it's not my place to tell you the reasons why," He sighs looking into my eyes. "I just don't want to see either of you get hurt,"

I shouldn't be surprised by Kozik's words. His bond with Happy is deep, fraternal, and at times furious. But in my day to day dealings with the resident ladies man, it is easy to forget what a good and loyal heart beats in his chest.

"Is this the buddy speech?" I ask.

"And if it is?" He replies all of the usual mischievousness drained from his face.

I take a moment before I answer. There are several things that need to be considered before my relationship with any man becomes more than platonic.

Having just gotten out of a relationship I was enjoying my freedom. I had taken up dance classes at the studio two blocks from my apartment, three nights a week. Mrs. McGregor and I watched the same soap, and discussed plans for the spring garden they always planted in the back yard.

I still thought about Max; a lot. Night was the hardest; sleeping alone in our bed. I wasn't ready to share that space with anyone, wasn't ready to share myself with anyone. When any long term relationship ends, there are certain voids that have to be filled. Just as there are certain habits that have to be broken.

"Then Happy is lucky to have you as a friend," I say. "And you have nothing to worry about,"

"So, he's not good enough for you?" Koz frowns at me; and interesting expression since I have never seen a sincere scowl from the man.

"Sit down" I offer, gesturing towards the chair. He's taken a tense stance, and is starting to scare me a little. "Please," I add.

He breaks eye contact with me for a moment but complies, leaning back in the chair.

"Happy has always been nice to me," I start, not knowing how else to describe his behavior. "I like him, but it is just dinner, maybe a movie. The fact is that I've been single for a little over a month, I'm not ready to do anything more than that. If Happy is expecting something else, maybe it would be best if you asked him to forget it,"

He doesn't respond so I continue "It isn't a reflection on him, I don't want to disappoint him, or upset our dynamic, but,"

"You're not ready," he nods. "I can understand that. So how long's it gonna take for you to get ready?"

I close my eyes, let my head dip forward, and shake it. "Christ," I sigh. "Look, I don't know…There's a lot of emotional shit to deal with yet…I'm not really comfortable talking…,"

"Nah, I get it," He says. "Gotta get back to work. Be careful with him Murph, he's more fragile then he seems," He pushes out of the chair and heads for the door. Pausing in the opening, he turns and says "I'll be having the same discussion with Hap. Just wanted to know where you stood on all this,"

"That's really not necessary Koz," I smile at him. "Happy wouldn't hurt me,"

Later that night Happy comes over to my place and we have dinner. Nothing fancy, just steak and potatoes, no candles or frills.

"See you're all unpacked," He notes while I pop open a bottle of beer for him.

"Yeah, Sara came over and we got it all set up," I say, passing the beer across the counter to where he's perched on one of the bar stools I picked up at a local junk shop. After sanding off the old stain, applying new, and reupholstering the seat they looked like new.

"Was that the night I picked her up?" Hap asked, taking a swig of his beer.

"Umm, maybe," I shrug. "Gets kind of fuzzy after we got the shower curtain hung up and celebrated with a joint. Mixing always fucks me up,"

"Didn't know you were a toker," He smirks at me. "We could have been hanging out months ago,"

I smirk back, trying to envision Happy hanging out at my old place with Max.

"Wanna smoke before or after dinner?" I ask. "We've got about fifteen minutes,"

"Afters good," he says. "Not drinking?"

"I'll have a glass of wine with dinner but that'll be it," I say "Don't need you tucking me in again,"

"Thought that night was fuzzy?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I thought that part of the night was a dream," I shrug turning away to check the potatoes in the oven; Went with baked this time. "Now that I know you picked Sara up, I assume the rest happened too. Sorry about the wait on dinner. I wasn't sure how punctual you'd be, or if you'd want to eat right away," I try to change the subject and end up rambling.

"No problem," He says, "Mind if I smoke?"

"Course not," I say, taking an ashtray from the cupboard and setting it in front of him.

"Want one?" He offers.

"I've got some," I admit, moving towards where my purse is hung on the back door. "But I will join you," Moving back down the counter I stand across from him and lean forward so that he can light it for me. "Thanks," I say exhaling. At a loss for something to say, the minutes ticked by in silence as we smoked.

Oddly enough it wasn't uncomfortable. Happy took a couple of pulls from his beer, checked out some of the art work I had hung around the apartment from his vantage point in between rooms.

"Got a thing for frogs?" He asks motioning towards a book shelf littered with figurines.

"No can't stand them," I say, not able to keep the smile from my voice.

"Smart ass," He smirks at me. "Why frogs?"

"My father's mother, Nonnie, collected them. After she died my Aunt gave me some of her collection, people started buying them for me, and before you knew it I was over run," I glance over at the shelf, picking out the green satin frog, with pink tutu and ballet slippers, seated in its little wicker chair, the first piece in the collection. "They remind me of her," I shrug "And they're cute. Do you collect anything?"

"Not really," He shrugs "Kind of life I lead, ya gotta be able to pack light,"

"Yeah," I nod my understanding "Can't really see you riding around with a nap-sack full of mementos,"

"I've got some shit at the dorm," He starts "From my mom, I don't travel with it but it's…" He pauses searching for the right words.

"Important enough to leave in a safe place," I say, again understanding. "How is Mary?" I ask, hoping to lighten the mood a little.

He scowls and finishes off his beer, trying not to be obvious about gauging how much to tell me. "Not so good," He sighs. "The doctors at the hospice center tell me that she doesn't have long. She wants to leave. Doesn't want to spend her last days so far from…" he stops, as if realizing he's said too much.

I reach over and take his free hand, increasing my grip when he tries to pull away. "I'm sorry," I say drawing his attention to my face. "I know I haven't met her in person, but talking to her over the phone at the shop, I get the impression that she's a great woman,"

"She's all I've got left," He says. My heart aches for him. I know the pain of being separated from the ones that you love; from your family. I come around the counter, never releasing his hand.

"You've got us Hap," I say stepping up to him as he swivels to look at me. "You don't have to feel alone," Releasing his hand I slip my arms around his neck and hug him. After a moments' hesitation he returns the embrace; his large arms locking around me.

There are a couple of calls I can make that may be able to help elevate some of the tension I can feel in his shoulders. I just so happen to have a friend in home health care who specialized in cases like Mary's. I hadn't said anything before because getting said friend to move 3,000 miles for a job hadn't been an option. But things had changed in her realm also, so this may just be perfect timing.

I start to pull back, after giving him, what I hope is a reassuring pat on the back, but Happy stops me, his hands splayed across my back, holding me against me. I look up into his large chocolate brown eyes, and nearly melt in the warmth I find there. He doesn't seem like the stoic mechanic, nor the vengeful biker, that I have come to know.

He gives me the same searching look that always shakes me to my core. No one should be able to stripe the layer of another away so easily. Against that look I have no defenses. His gaze falls to my lips, and my fingers tighten on his forearms as a look of hunger comes across his features. My whole body shivers in response. It has been a very long time since a man has looked at me that way.

"I should check on the uh, the steak," I say, breaking the spell. He lets me go, and I return to the other side of the counter, hoping that a little space will help me calm down.

Over dinner we talked about the guys, and the shop, local places that we liked to eat; Normal conversation between two people over a meal.

We retired to the living room for coffee after dinner and decided to watch a movie.

"What sounds good to you?" I asked

"Anything with action is fine," he says.

"Oh, so My Fair Lady is out then," I sigh dejectedly, nearly laughing at the face he's making at the mention of the musical. "Fine, Demolition Man it is,"

I pop the DVD into the player and settle on the other end of the couch.

"You own Demolition Man?" Happy asks me.

"Of course," I say. "It's a great flick, plenty of action. And surprisingly enough I loved Sandra Bullock in it, she was so funny,"

"Yeah great movie," He says smirking at me.

"What? You don't like it?" I ask "I've got plenty of other stuff to pick from..." I start to get up and find something more suitable to both our tastes when his hand grabs my wrist.

"No this is cool, just teasing you," he says.

"Funny," I say returning to my seat.

"I thought so," he smirked at me.

We watched the movie and had popcorn.

"Best scene is when he kicks off Phonic's head," Happy says.

"Ever played with liquid nitrogen?" I ask.

"Not like that," he says "Might be interesting," he actually seems to contemplate what it would be like to freeze body parts and watch them shatter when impacted.

"You're more likely to freeze your own fingers off then to actually pull something like that off," I say indicating the scene in the movie.

"Bummer," He says.

"Yeah," I reply, chuckling. Picking up the empty popcorn bowl I head into the kitchen. "Want another beer?" I ask.

"Sure," He says from behind me, making me jump a little.

"How the hell do you do that?" I ask, my hand trying to keep my heart from beating out of my chest.

"What?" he asks leaning back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest.

"Move so quietly," I say "Nine times out of ten you've snuck up on me and scared me brainless," Rinsing the bowl out I leave it in the sink and turn back to Happy.

He shrugs "Just good I guess"

I roll my eyes. "Yeah," I say, "I know guys half your size that make more noise,"

He's quite for a minute and I wonder if I've said something wrong.

"My line of work" he starts "I have to be quite, sneak up on people. I guess I never learned to turn it off,"

I see the wall start to go back up. Happy and I have never been close, not like some of the other guys at the shop, but we've broken through some rough barriers in order to deal with each other. The last thing I want to have to do is start all over again.

"Why would you turn it off?" I ask trying to pull the bricks down before he could put them up.

He shrugs. Damn not a good sign.

"Saved your ass a couple to times right?"

He nods.

"Lets you get a feeling for a situation before you jump in?"

Again he nods.

"So why would you want to turn something like that off?" I ask crossing my arms "I'd be afraid that I'd never be able to turn it back on," I turn to wash out the bowl and give him a couple of minutes to for a response.

Happy is a quiet man, who usually thinks things through before opening his mouth. When he does speak, it's usually important or at least relevant, so the pause doesn't bother me.

"Didn't mean to scare you," He says.

"I know," I say smiling at him over my shoulder.

"No you don't," he says unfolding himself and pushing away from the counter.

"Then explain it to me," I say following him back into the living room, drying my hands as I go.

"I've gotta go," He says picking up his jacket and shrugging into it.

"Okay," I say setting the dishcloth on the counter. He crosses the room and stands in front of me, giving me that penetrating look; like he's trying to see into my soul.

"Thanks for dinner,"

"Thanks for the locks," I say.

"See you Monday," he says shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, see you Monday," and with that he leaves.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note: Thank you to all who have reviewed and added this story to your fav or alert list. Your support is greatly appreciated. Thank you in particular to GoodniteGirl23 for the heads up about the missing words and grammatical errors. I will try to keep a better eye on that. Let me know if you see anything else that doesn't make sense, add up or is just weird, and I will make adjustments.

Hope you like this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Sons of Anarchy, not the band A Day to Remember, or 40 Below Summer. I make no profit from this.

Chapter 6

March rolls by and the first teasing signs of spring emerge as we head into April. The days are getting warm, despite the melting snow, and long. It's no longer dark when I leave the lot at night, and most days I can drive in with the heater off.

Happy and I hadn't spoken much since the night we had dinner in February, except for the usual work conversation 'here's your invoices' 'here's your works orders' 'when's that car gonna be ready?'

He'd been gone on a run for the last couple of weeks, and I was starting to wonder if he was ever coming back. Not that I missed him. No, it was more that he rounded out the crowd. Yeah that's it. Without him there some integral part of the shop was missing. He had gone on runs before and it hadn't bothered me, so what was my problem this time?

Since there just wasn't time to go home and change before Megan came to pick me up I was getting ready for a rock show, at the local bar Smitty's, in the office bathroom after closing. The guys, per usual, were all milling around outside, enjoying the clear night air, even if it was a little crisp yet, and I could hear their conversation through the open bathroom room window.

"So Hap, how's your little project going?" Koz asks. "Haven't seen your truck over at her place lately,"

My heart, having jumped into my throat at the reference to his actual presence, sank a little at the thought of Happy's truck or bike parked in front of some chicks' house. I shook it off. It was none of my business if Happy was seeing someone. Good for him, trying to have a normal life.

Snapping my stockings into place with their garters, I slip into my knee high black leather boots, trying to ignore the twisting in my gut. I shouldn't be so disappointed. Hap's had plenty of sweet butts over the last eight months, it's never bothered me. But now…

Pulling the strapless black and red plaid dress up over my breasts and zipping it in place, I smooth the A-line skirt to its hem at just above mid thigh, and take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

Okay maybe I've romanticized my relationship with Hap a little over the last couple of months. Reading things into our encounter at Sara's, and the night we had dinner, when he'd given me the phone. Nothing had really happened, no matter how stirred up I'd been in his presence. All of it could be written off as nothing more than the VP extending some common club courtesy to a friend of a member's wife.

But I had been enjoying thinking that I was special to someone. Sara and Koz hadn't been helping matters with all their advice, and speculation. Happy's offer of protection hadn't done anything except confuse me. I know that he isn't that guy. Most of the girls that he sleeps with don't have his number. (I know this because some of them show up at the shop looking for him after a couple of days and no phone call) Not that Hap and I were sleeping together.

"Knock it off Koz," Tank said "Can't you see he's hung up on the girl? He doesn't need you picking at him about it,"

"Well he needs something," Koz says "A piece like that ain't gonna stay available for long. Somebody's bound to swoop in and scoop her up. She's already been going out with 'the girls'. How much longer you gonna wait man?"

"Yeah, who's gonna scoop her up?" Ant asks "You?" he laughs heartily at the idea of Koz and this mystery woman together. "She'd drop you on your ass faster than you could blink,"

"You know maybe what she needs is a night with the Koz," he says referring to himself in the third person. I roll my eyes and finish touching up my eyeliner, liking how the black brings out the dark ring around the light blue of my eyes. Tossing the pen back in my purse I grab my mascara and reapply, before pulling the tie out of my hair and brushing it out.

Thank god my bout with the hot iron was still in effect, saving me oodles of time tonight. I rake through my auburn hair with my flat brush, letting it swing down to the middle of my back with each stroke. Smiling to my reflection as they guys laugh at Koz, I apply some vamp red lips stick to match the stripe in the dress. After blotting I toss everything back in my back and snap my purse closed.

Dumping my purse in my desk drawer I lock it and pocket my keys, lighter, smokes and cell. Tucking money into my boot I pull on my leather motto-cross style jacket, and exit office to see if Megan has shown up yet. Only to come face to face with the picnic table full of guys I had just been eavesdropping on.

"I hope you're gonna give her a shot of penicillin to go with that 'Night with the Koz'" I say drawing their attention.

The table goes silent as they stare at me.

"Holy Shit," Koz says picking his jaw up off the ground "Murphy? S'that you?" I cross my arms over my chest as he pushes away from the table. Jesus it's just a dress and some makeup.

"Well, well, well," he says circling me "Don't we look lovely," he trails his fingers across my shoulders. "Hot,"

Snatching his fingers, I bend his hand backwards until he sinks to the ground. "Don't remember saying you could touch me Koz,"

"You're right. You didn't. Sorry, let go," he groans. "You do look fantastic though," he smirks up at me.

"Kiss ass," I say letting him go.

"Bend over and I'll show you just how big a kiss ass I can be?" he leers at me as he stands up.

"Did you just imply that I have a big ass?" I ask glaring at him.

"What? No...I..," Momentarily stunned and seeing warning flags all over that question, he takes a step back. "Jeez I can't fucking win tonight,"

"That's right," I say "Now go sit down and behave. Like a good boy,"

"Big plans tonight sweetie?" Tank asks as I lean my elbows back on the picnic table next to him. Kicking my legs out in front of me and crossing my feet at the ankles, I can feel Haps eyes stare at the back of my head.

He looked good, no holes or patches that I could see from my quick scan. I'm more relieved than I care to admit.

"Nah, going to see A Day to Remember with Megan at Smitty's tonight," I explain.

"Didn't know Smitty played movies," Tank says.

"He doesn't, that I know of. They're a band," I say.

"Oh? Done anything good?" Ant asks. "Anything we'd like?" he corrects, as if he's suddenly worried I'd make him listen to Brittany Spears or something.

"I think so," I nod at him reassuringly.

"Like what?" Happy asks, his gravelly voice making goose bumps break out along my arms. Thank god for the coat.

"I've got the cd in the car, just hold on a minute," I say walking over to Betsy and pulling her up next to the picnic table. The CD player cue's up Homesick and I scan to number 1, leaving the auxiliary power on and cranking the volume. I step out of the car just as the first double bass roll starts. One thing most people don't know about Betsy is that she has a killer factory system. Her windows rattle a little until the guitar kicks in.

The band is singing about selling their soul to the open road when Megan's black Mustang Convertible pulls into the lot. Waving as she pulls up, she parks and climbs out, laughing that we're playing the same song. Ducking into Betsy I turn her off and pull out the keys.

"Okay if I leave her here?" I ask addressing Hap for the first time. He just nods at me. "Thanks,"

Megan adjusts her black leather mini skirt, as she closes the drives side door. Smoothing her white wife-beater tank top she picks her way over to me four inch, high spike heels; her flame red hair spilling, loose down her back.

"You look fucking gorgeous!" She says coming around the hood to hug me.

"You too," I say "as usual," Kissing her cheek.

"God this is going to be fun," She says, practically hopping from foot to foot.

"Yeah," I smirk "Can't fucking wait,"

"40 Below Summer is opening, how did we get so lucky?" she asks slinging an arm around my shoulders.

"No idea," I say as we turn back to the guys.

"So, who are your friends?" She asks me in a not so quiet whisper, scanning the group sitting before us.

"Tall guy with black curly hair is Ant," He raises a lanky hand in greeting.

"Broad shoulders and strawberry blonde hair is Tank," He nods.

"Spiky, is Kozik," he grins sliding up to us; he lifts Megan's hand and kisses her knuckles. "Charmed I'm sure," he says.

"Actually, we've already met," She says extracting her hand.

"I think I would remember someone as beautiful as you," he says giving her the once over.

"It was a couple of years ago," She says waving him off. "You ready to tear some shit up?" she asks turning to me.

"Oh yeah," I say linking my arm with hers as we walk over to her car.

"Now, now, ladies," Koz says jogging up behind us. "We can't let you go to the show unescorted. Things could get violent. It just wouldn't be very gentlemanly of us would it?"

"Since when are you a gentleman?" I ask, frowning at him. "You don't even like this band,"

"With two hotties like you there, who's gonna be watching the band?" he asks, chesher cat grin in place.

I swing the passenger side door open, nearly hitting him with it. "You wanna go? Tickets are thirty bucks at the door,"

With that I climb into Megan's car and we head for the show, Homesick blaring the whole way.

* *

Smitty's is packed when we pull up. Fortunately I have an in with the owner and the bouncer Teddy lets us right through, since I paid for out tickets in advanced. Smitty and most of his employees come to the shop for maintenance and repair work. I knew the type of place he owned and asked him for a show schedule about a month ago. Megan and I had made it our treat every couple of weeks. We'd made a deal never to ditch each other for a guy, and one of us always drove. Usually it was a good time.

We go up to the scarred oak bar and hand our coats to Jake for safe keeping behind the bar and order a couple of drinks before the show starts. We are both crazy about A Day to Remember, and wanted to party together, so Smitty let Megan park in the employee parking lot, and we'd planned to cab it home that night.

"So what do you think of Koz?" she asks once our drinks arrive.

I shrug "He's not so bad as long as you know how to handle him, what to expect," Taking my drink I hop onto a stool and turn to check out the crowd. There's a three stair decent to the dance floor, which is little more than a twenty foot by twenty foot clearing. The bar sits opposite the stage, tables and chairs set up around the dance floor. It's your typical bar.

Smitty has photos of himself, his family, old patrons hung behind the bar. The stools are chrome and black leather, matching the pool table in the back right hand corner near the jukebox.

"Which is not much," She huffs.

"He's a one night stand kind of guy when it comes to chicks. Sure you could sleep with him a couple of time but it isn't going to be consecutively, at least not for him," I say taking a drink of my Amaretto Sour. "If you're down for that kind of thing, Koz is your guy. You want something serious look elsewhere. Doesn't mean he isn't a good guy,"

"Yeah, learned that look else were lesson," She sighs. "What about tall dark and studdly?"  
I raise an eyebrow at her, wondering who the fuck she is talking about.

"The bald one, the one you didn't introduce me to?" she says giving me a sly look.

"Oh Happy," I say smiling slightly, looking down at my glass.

"Happy?" She asks. "He sure as hell didn't seem happy to me," Her attention elsewhere, as she scans for people we know.

"And Ant is nothing like the insect," She stares blankly at me for a moment, before I shrug and continue "It's a guy thing, giving each other knick names that mean the opposite of how they're perceived by everyone else." She gives me the 'for the love of god,' eye roll. "At least that's how I understand it,"

"How did you end up working there?" Megan asks. Our relationship is still new enough that I haven't had to get into particulars yet. I wonder just how long I can keep the situation to myself. Stalling I take a chug of my drink.

"Moved to Tacoma about eight months ago. Sara Reynolds got me the job. She and my Mom go way back," I say. There's nothing quite like telling the partial truth, to someone you are trying to get to know, to make you feel uncomfortable.

Sara and my mother did go way back. Their association having stared thirty years prior on a trip my parents had taken to Washington on behalf of my grandfather. None of the transactions had been legal or on paper, but over the two years my mother spent here, she and Sara had become inseparable. When my family moved back to the East Coast, mom had kept in contact with her friend.

"Okay, but why Tacoma of all places?" she asks.

"I didn't pick it," I say getting a curious look from her. "My boyfriend at the time was itching to get out of New York so I let him pick the destination, just happened to work out that I actually knew some people from here,"

"Where's the boyfriend now?"

"Back in New York," I say.

"Good riddance," She says, clinking her glass to mine. "Now you've got tall dark and studdly to play with,"

"Hap and I aren't like that," I say brushing the thought off finishing off my drink. Waving to the bar tender I glance at Meg and order her another round as well.

"You obviously didn't see the look he gave Koz when he put his arm around you," She says setting her empty glass on the coaster the bartender set down. "If looks could kill Koz would be in itty bitty pieces all over that parking lot,"

"That's just the way Happy looks," I say shrugging it off and smiling at Jake the bartender as he sets my glass in front of me. I pay for the round and slide him a five dollar tip. Not much but hey, I'm working on a budget here.

"That's not the way he looked at you," she says, taking a swig of her sea breeze. "You're going to sit here and tell me that nothing has happened between the two of you?"

"Nothing has happened between the two of us," I say taking a drink.

"But you want it to," she states, her eyes daring me to deny it.

"Well duh," I say setting my drink on the table. "Since I'm not blind or dead, it's not like I haven't thought about it,"

"So why haven't you acted on it?" She asks.

I shrug "Life with Happy would be complicated,"

"Who's talking about life?" Megan asks, "I'm talking about a good, old fashioned, sweaty romp between the sheets,"

"I don't know," I say pushing my hair out of my face, and tucking it behind my ears. "I've never… Sex has never been…"

"Casual?" she offers, her tone all but patting my hand in sympathy.

"Yeah," I sigh. "I was with Max for a really long time, and by the end sex was just awkward,"

"All the more reason to jump studdly," She says taking a drink. "You're out of practice, nervous, but I bet, if you gave Happy just a hint that you're interested, he'll give you exactly what you need."

"Look if Happy were interested, I'd know. He doesn't exactly do subtle," I say.

"Nothing subtle about that," she says, nodding over my shoulder.

Turning on my barstool towards the exit I see, Koz, Mikey and Happy stop at the bottom of the stairs and scan the crowd.

"Fuck," I say turning around "What the hell are they doing here?"

"Looking for someone apparently," Megan states, staring at the group.

"This is not good," I say setting my drink down.

"Why?" She asks "It's the perfect opportunity for you to do what we discussed,"

"What?" I ask. My mind has jumped from the delightful vision of rolling around in a sweaty tangle with Happy to: Where, the fuck, are the exits and which table would make the best shield if somebody starts shooting.

"Give him a hint, see how it goes," Megan says.

"Look I think that we should go," I say.

"Go where kitten?" Koz asks sliding up to the bar in between us.

"What are you doing here?" I hiss at him.

"Came to see the band," He says nodding towards the stage.

"Oh?" I ask, nearly sighing in relief.

"What did you think we came here for?" he smirks at me. Leaning in close he says "Don't you think we'd warn you if something were going to go down?"

"Back off," Happy says coming up next to me "She's already told you once she doesn't want to be touched,"

"It's okay," I smile over at him "What made you guys decide to come tonight?"

Hap just lets his gaze slide from my eyes down to my toes and back. "Thought we'd be gentlemen,"

Koz just smiles at me and orders a whiskey, three fingers.

"Time for another drink," Megan says finishing hers and taking my empty glass, she moves down the bar, flirting with Jake the bartender.

"Relax Murph," Koz says wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I can feel Happy tense up next to me, as Koz lays his fingers on my bare skin.

"Here, shot," Megan says squeezing in between me and Koz, and hip bumping him back a pace or two. "Sum's starting in five," She says knocking back her shot. "Let's get up there,"

I knock mine back, set the glass on the counter, and head into the crowd towards the stage.

Megan and I jump around, head banging, feeding off the crowds' energy; there's a lot of fans at the show tonight and it makes all the difference. When whipped into the emotional frenzy that the music creates, it is very easy to get lost in the mob mentality. All it takes is one guy, one jackass to ruin the experience, and turn the night violent. But if the crowd is mostly people who know the music and appreciate it, you can have the night of your life.

When at a rock show you always run the risk of bodily injury. Mosh pits can break out anywhere, sucking the people on their edges into the mayhem. Crowd surfers can be dumped on your head at a moments' notice from any direction. Stage surges can crush you against the security fence just as easily as they can crush you against the person standing in front of you.

40 below Summer played a ten song set that night, and we were able to avoid all of the hazards, while still managing to rock out. Still amped from singing along with our favorite songs, and humming from the vibrations the amps pushed through the floor, we made our way back to the bar.

We had just ordered another round of shots when the guys found us.

"Add three," I say the bar tender. He pours and I take the shots turning towards the guys.

"To the rock show," I say "the best fucking show on earth." Clinking my shot glass to theirs I pound it back, and order another round, with a cranberry vodka chaser.

"Worked it out did you?" Hap asks putting an arm around my shoulders as he passes the next round to Mikey, and takes one for himself.

"Yeah," I smile, "Feeling much better," I smile over at Megan, she grins back at me.

"I don't know about you but I need a smoke," She says ordering another round of shots.

"Sounds like a plan," I say taking the glass she hands me.

"Through the teeth and over the tongue, look out stomach here it comes," She says clinking her glass to mine.

"Fucking A," I laugh, slamming mine back. The guys grab fresh beers before we head out to the patio to smoke.

Several people stop the guys to say hi on the way out, greeting them with the customary guy hand-shake-back-slap hug. Instead of waiting Megan and I duck out without them.

"Woo," She says as we step out into the cool night air. "I think I need to slow down a little,"

"Really?" I ask pulling a pack of cigs out of the pocket on my dress. "Usually you can out drink a Navy Squadron,"

"Not lately," She says. "Works been hell, long hours," We lapse into discussion of our workloads, upcoming time off, and when we should get together again. The boys come out just as we're finishing our smokes.

"Don't head back in yet," Koz implores. "Didn't mean to get hung up,"

"Hope you didn't hurry on our account," Megan says, smiling at the well built brunette she's been flirting with since we got out here; giving the guy a little wave over Koz's shoulder.

"That's harsh babe," Koz says leaning next to her on the patio railing, giving the dude the evil eye. "And here I thought I already had an in with you,"

"Already ridden that ride," She says, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Meet me at the bar five minutes before the lights go down," She says, patting my knee as she stands up and saunters over to the pretty thing she's been making eyes at.

"Cough it up" Mikey says smiling at Koz and holding his hand out.

"The nights still young," He says pushing Mikey's hand away, glaring at the guy tucking a piece of hair behind Megan's ear.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news," I say leaning towards Koz "But she's serious. She's not interested," I take a drink and glance at the crowd milling around. I nod at Jamie and Cindy who are both here with their boyfriends, and talking with a group of people I don't know.

Terry and Kelly have joined Megan at hunky's table and managed to attract like specimens for themselves. Everywhere I look there are couples; people pairing off. And tonight I'll go home alone. Sleep alone. Wake up alone.

A one night stand isn't going to change how I feel. The loneliness has been gnawing at me lately. I had hoped that with the coming of spring I would feel ready to move forward. Instead I feel stuck, weighted down under the confusion of what went wrong.

There hasn't been anyone who's captured my interest since Max left. There have been fleeting moments of attraction, but no one has kept my attention long enough for them to get my number let alone make it into my bed.

Dinner with Happy is the closest thing I've had to a date, and I don't feel ready to put myself out there. I watch the people I hang with do the dating dance, and mostly I feel as though I simply don't have the energy for it.

"Didn't know you liked this kind of music," Happy says standing next to me.

"I usually don't," I say "I was spoiled in the New York underground. Heavy, heavy shit. This, is a kids party compared to that,"

"Can't picture you hanging in some seedy little dive, with kids in black makeup," Mikey says.

I shrug "I was one of those kids," I say. "Leather collars, elbow length gloves, and more black nail polish then I care to remember. Moving to the City was the perfect outlet for all that rage. We found a subsection of society just like us, and wallowed in it,"

"Who's we?" Koz asks waggling his eye brows at me.

"Me and Max," I say. "I'd gotten into NYU on a full scholar ship. Earned my Masters in English Composition, during the day, and tore through the tunnels and subways at night. We'd go days without sleep."

"And you loved it," Happy says smirking down at me.

"Oh yeah," I say smiling into my drink. "It was the time of my fucking life. My little brother came down and stayed for a weekend, we went to this show, it was supposed to bed just some shit show. No one good was out that night, so we went and saw this band called Hatebreed. They were phenomenal. Gritty, you could almost smell the electricity cackling through the speakers. The drummer threw down, there were points where I was amazed that his double bass peddle didn't go through the drum,"

"What did little bro think?" Mikey asked.

"He was fifteen, we got him a fake id, got him into the show, and let him go, he fucking loved it," I think back, seeing the smile on Mark's face when we met up that night.

He and Max had hit the pit while I hung back at the bar. The crowd had been a little too enthusiastic for my tastes so I had decided to keep a wide berth. 

Marks shirt was ripped at the collar, his lip was bleeding and he was going to have a huge bruise across his cheek, but the kid glowed. His lake blue eyes burned like a flame, as they walked towards me. I watched him discuss parts of the show with Max, hands going a mile a minute mimicking the bass lines. He'd been practicing for a couple of years and had just gotten a group of guys together and was working out the whole band thing. 

"Hey Ki," He said rapping me in a big hug, lifting me off my feet. "Thanks for the great night,"

"Any time," I say hugging him back "Just, don't tell Mom," 

It had been the first of many during my duration in the Big Apple. We had six great years in that city, and I still missed it at times.

"Split his lip, hit some kid in the face and met at really cute chick," I sigh "Not a bad night, all in all."

"I can't imagine you as a big sister," Koz says slanting me a glance.

"Why not?" I ask taking a drink, fishing another cig out of my pocket. "I treat you the same way I treated him when we were kids,"

"Brother Zone," He grumbles "only slightly more humiliating then the friend zone," He finishes his beer and pushes away from the rail. "I've spotted a pretty young thing just begging for my attention. Have fun," He waves us off without a backward glance, heading toward a blonde in what looked like liquid latex pants and matching halter top.

"She's gonna eat him alive," I say, smiling at the thought of Koz begging for mercy.

"Nah," Hap say turning away from the scene and lighting his own smoke "He can give just as good as he'll get with that one," he exhales and tries to discreetly check me out. "But I guess appearances can be deceiving,"

"Yeah I guess so," I say turning towards him, letting my smoke dangle over the railing.

"Gonna go grab a beer," Mikey says "You guys want something,"

"Yeah," Happy says, turning towards me, while handing Mikey his empty beer bottle.

"Sure," I say taking a drag and looking out over the parking lot "Thanks,"

"You look good," He says, not bothering to be discrete as his eyes rake over me.

"You too," I say returning the look "Good trip?"

"Boring," He says, leaning his elbow on the rail, bringing our bodies closer. "Couldn't wait to get back, have a beer at the club house. Then this beautiful woman walks out of the office, wearing this amazing dress, and all my plans turn to shit,"

"Oh," I say crossing my feet at the ankles "What happened to the woman?"

"Followed her to this show; Good thing the music's been decent so far, she's ignored me all night" He smirks at me.

"Well what have you done to get her attention?" I ask, taking a drag of my smoke.

"Nothing, yet," he says "Can't think of anything to say when she's around,"

"Man I'm gonna start wearing dresses more often," I smile up at him, ending our little game. "Or is it the boots? They're great," I lift on up slightly and wiggle my foot back and forth, while looking down at it.

"Christ I didn't even recognize you at first," He brushes a piece of hair behind my shoulder, drawing my attention back to him. "Then out on the floor tonight, watching you and Megan, I wondered if I ever really did," His hand trails down my arm, making goose bumps stand out.

"You've been on the road too long baby," I say squeezing his finger in my palm as they brush by. Seeing the fatigue behind his eyes, my fingers ache to rubout the headache I know lingers at his temples. "Things will look normal in the morning,"

"Maybe," He says "Maybe not," Tension lines creasing his forehead as he looks down at me.

"Hap, there's something I want to talk to you about, but this isn't the place," I start.

"Then let's go," He says, taking my elbow and straightening up. "I'll give you a ride home,"

"No, wait," I say putting my hand on his chest. "A Day to Remember is going to be on soon. We can talk tomorrow. It's nothing that can't wait." His free hand comes up and captures my wrist, holding it in place. His eyes lock on to mine, and my breath catches. He sighs and steps back.

"We'll leave after the bands done," he says before releasing my hand. His eyes flick to a spot just over my shoulder, a moment before Mikey returns with the drinks.

The three of us smoke and drink while chatting about 40 below Summer's performance. Mikey and I get into a disagreement on the best bass player of the 90's. Turns out the kid has an extensive knowledge of the Metal genre.

"You two should come out on the floor with us," I say. "It's a lot of fun,"

"Nah, doll," Mikey says.

"We'll be at the bar," Happy says looping an arm around my waist, he pulls me close and kisses the top of my head. "Watching if you need us," He whispers to me.

I nod, trying to get my mouth to water. "I'll be fine," I assure him with a pat to the chest. "Not my first rodeo," I say, looping my arm around his waist, when he doesn't let me go, as we walk back inside.

Megan is waiting for me in the same spot we had commandeered before Sum's performance. Much to Mikey's dismay she's wrapped around Koz while the two of them attempt to suck each others' tongues out.

"How the fuck did he pull that one off?" He asks incredulously.

"That's Koz," Happy says slapping him on the back. "Don't take it personally. The second that chick pulled into the lot, she was sunk,"

"How do you know it wasn't the other way around?" I ask glancing up at Happy. He raises an eyebrow at me.

"Well you'd know your friend better than I would," He says "You tell me,"

I just shrug. "I could have sworn that she wasn't into him,"

"Great so they're both sluts," Mikey grumbles.

I punch him in the shoulder "Don't talk about my friend that way," I glare at him "She is an adult she can sleep with whoever she wants. There's no reason to call her names because you lost a bet,"

"Sorry Murph, not what I meant," He has the good grace to look sheepish about the whole situation.

"S'okay," I say "Megan, get your ass over here, they're starting," I pull her off Koz as the lights dim.

Weaving through the crowd we manage to get pretty close to the front.

"You and Koz?" I ask.

"He's hot, and so fucking good in bed," She all but groans.

"And you are so fucking trashed," I say, nudging her with my elbow. She sways alarmingly to her left before catching herself.

"Had way too much, Kozzy is giving me a ride home," She says smiling.

"Kozzy?" I ask.

"How are you gonna get home?" She asks.

"Hap offered to give me a ride,"

"I'm sure he did," She grins at me "I saw you two out on the patio when you thought no one was looking. He is digging on you hard. I will personally kick your ass if you don't hop on that,"

"You know what, maybe I will," I say as the house lights go out and the stage lights come up. "Maybe I will,"


	7. Chapter 7

Authors Note: Thank you to all who reviewed and added this story to your fav or alert lists. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and profit from nothing.

Warning: LEMON, if you don't like sexual material, DO NOT READ FURTHER.

Warning:Chapter 7

Once the band's finished I met Hap at the bar and we say good night to the gang. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and tucks me into his side as we head for the parking lot.

"Have a good time princess?" He asks.

"The fucking best," I grin up at him, thankful he's helping me stay upright. Like Megan I've had way too much to drink, but right now I feel like it was worth it. The adrenaline is still pumping through my veins and it takes me a moment to remember that Haps ridden his bike tonight.

"Well, this ought to be interesting," I say as Hap hands me a helmet. "Never ridden in a dress before,"

"Didn't know you'd ridden before at all," He says climbing on to the bike, patting the seat behind him as I strap on the helmet.

"It's been awhile," I say resting my hands on his shoulders as I get on behind him. I let them slide down to his waist as I settle on the seat.

"Well, hang on darlin'," he says, pulling my arms tight around him, locking my hands over his stomach, before he starts the bike. "Ready?"

I nod, resting my chin on his shoulder, my body pressed flush to his back. He eases the bike out of the parking lot and onto the street. A smile breaks out on my face as the engine roars to life, and we fly down the pavement.

The edges of my skirt start to lift up in the wind, taking one arm back I try to hold it down, not wanting the local traffic to get a show. Happy's hand comes back and cups the back of my knee. "Y'alright?" he asks over the rumble of the engine.

"Yeah," I say, my mouth near his ear, "Just some wardrobe difficulties,"

He nods, a smile creases his face as he squeezes my knee. Taking advantage of our close proximity I rest my cheek on his shoulder blade and breath him in. The scent of wind, road, motor oil and Happy fills my nose. God that smell shouldn't twist me up like it does.

It's a quick ride back to my place, where he parks on the street. I hop off the bike, and unstrap the helmet.

"Thanks," I say handing it back to him "Wanna come in?"

He nods setting the helmet on his handlebars. "Wasn't gonna bring ya home, and not walk ya to the door," He states as we head down the little paver stone path to the door.

"Well thanks again," I say fumbling with the key. "Want a beer or something?" I ask finally getting the door open.

"Yeah," He says "Or something," as we head up the stairs to my door.

"Okay," I say squinting at the keys in my hand. I know that one of them opens the door; I just can't remember which one. "What did you have in mind?" I ask finally getting the door open. I walk in, letting the door swing wide, and toss my keys towards the kitchen counter.

"Something along these lines," He says, kicking the door closed with his boot. He grabs my arm and spins us around, pushing me up against the door. I grab a hold of his shoulders as he halls me to my toes and his mouth crashes down over mine. I lose myself in the sensation pulsing through me.

Christ he's all heat and demand. I have no choice but to respond in kind. My hands slip behind his head, my arms lock around his neck as our tongues battle. One of his hands is wound in my hair, holding my head in place as he ravages my mouth. The other arm is pressed between my back and the door. A slight moan escapes my lips as he pushes a knee between my legs.

"Tell me to stop," He says breaking the kiss and resting his forehead against mine as he looks down at me. "Tell me to stop and I will,"

I pull him back down to me, sealing my mouth over his. His hands slide down my side, cupping my ass as he picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He carries me towards the living room, growling as I nip his earlobe between my teeth, then suck the sting away, gently flicking the flesh with my tongue.

"Bed next time," He says laying me on the couch, bringing his mouth back to mine.

"No problem," I murmur as he pulls me into a sitting position and unzips my dress, while doing very naughty things to my neck with his tongue and teeth. My hands glide down the front of his shirt, tucking under the hem to find his belt buckle. After a couple flicks of my wrist the belt comes loose and I spring the snap on his jeans. The baggy material pools at his knees, leaving only his boxers between us.

He peels my dress down my body, taking a moment to look over the results once the dress in on the floor. Tentatively he reaches out and strokes a finger along the swell of my breast, just above the cup of my corset, making me shiver.

"Nice," He smiles down at me. "Got any more?"

"Sure," I say, breathless "I'll show you later," Pushing him on to his back, he leans against the arm of the couch, as I straddle his lap. Drawing him into a deep kiss, I push his boxers down his hips, letting the side of my thumb rub down his shaft. He grasps my sides, letting his fingers trail down the black satin to my hips before pulling me against him roughly, as he stretches his legs out on the couch.

I can feel how hard he is under me, and grind against him teasingly. I'm rewarded for my efforts with a growl and Happy's nimble fingers snapping the straps on my thong. Tossing the now ruined garment aside he wraps one arm around my waist and pulls me up slightly, aligning himself with the other hand.

"Last chance," He says searching my eyes as he holds me in place.

"Please Hap," I say stroking my fingers over his baldhead. "I want you." Slowly he lowers me down, the tip of his erection pressing against my folds. "All of you," I say, as he lowers me farther, sliding silkily into me.

"God," I sigh closing my eyes. Sitting still for a moment, I let myself stretch to accommodate his size. Once we are used to each other I start to rock against him, taking more of him in with each roll of my hips.

"Kira," He sighs between gritted teeth. "Christ,"

I'm so wet I don't know how he can feel anything. I draw my nails down the back of his head, getting him to tilt it back so that I can kiss him. I need that ground right now. It's been so long since a man has held me like this. Touched me like this. My system doesn't know how to handle it, and will go into over load soon.

He breaks the kiss and lowers his head to my breast, kissing and nipping just above the satin. I feel his hands glide up my back from my hips, as he starts to undo the little hooks holding my corset in place. Letting my head fall back I continue to ride Happy, hoping that it's as good for him as it is for me.

Finally he gets the last hook undone, and lets the corset fall between us. His hands mold to my sides before running up my rib cage, stopping just under my arms. The tips of his thumbs brush against the underside of my breast . He pulls me forward, letting his tongue roll over the erect bud before suckling it into his mouth. I groan at the sensation of his hot wet mouth closed over me. One of his hands is splayed across my back, holding me to him, while the other fondles my other breast.

"Happy," I say feeling the liquid pull in my abdomen. My hands grasp his shoulders, and my body tries to arch away from him as my orgasm slams through me. "God, Happy,"

He holds me close, pushing me down, making me take all of him as I cum. When my body goes slack against him, he rolls me onto my back, never breaking contact.

"Kira," he whispers, stroking a piece of hair behind my ear. My eyes open and all I can see is Happy looking down at me, his normally hard eyes are soft, almost warm. I smile up at him lifting my arms to draw him close, and kiss him.

"Don't stop," I whisper in his ear, before biting the lobe, causing him to shiver and thrust into me. He takes up a quick rhythm as I nip and suck from behind his ear to his collarbone. My hands sneak up the back of his shirt, and I draw my nails from the base of his spine to his shoulders, causing him to shudder.

I wrap my legs around his waist, moaning as I take him deeper.

"Again," He says, placing on foot on the floor, while leaning back on his other knee. Grasping my hips and tilting them up, he runs one hand over my stomach while looking down at me "Go again," he rolls his thumb over my nipple.

I bite my lip, already feeling it start to build as his fingers toy with my breast. My hands stretch up above me, grabbing the arm of the couch behind my head. I can't keep from moaning as I feel every thrust reverberate through my womb.

"That's it," He says, cupping my cheek, stroking with his thumb. "Let go baby,"

My body arches to his as he sends me over again, taking him with me this time, as he calls my name.

We lay tangled and breathless on the couch for a few minutes before Happy rolls on to his side, folding me into his arms, my back to his chest.

"You okay?" He asks kissing my shoulder.

"Mm-hmm," I sigh, trailing my fingers over the arm he has locked around me. "You?"

"Yeah," He smiles against my flesh. "Not exactly how I had planned it but…"

"Planned it?" I ask.

"Well," he shrugs "Been thinking on it for a while,"

"Oh," I say smiling, thanking god I wasn't the only one.

"Figured I'd be able to use this run to push you outta my head," He says. "But it didn't work,"

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that." I say letting my hand fall away from his arm, post coital exhustion setting in, it's getting hard to keep my eyes open.

"I'm not," He says. "Should have known better to begin with,"

"Hmm," I sigh, losing the battle with sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Authors Note: Thank you to all who reviewed and added this story to your favs or story alerts. Your support is greatly appreciated.

I know Hap may seem a little OOC but he's pretty hung up on Kira, and has been for a while. It's gonna make him do strange things, as love often does. Don't worry Happy is not sappy and I don't intend on making him that way. He just seems to me to be the kind of guy who shows his feeling in the little things (locks, watching movies, breakfast). Well anyway bare with me. Happy reading. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I won nothing. I profit from nothing.

WARNING: LEMON if you don't like that kind of thing don't read further.

Chapter 8

I wake up in my own bed, blankets tucked around me, wearing a mans long sleeved tee shirt, and nothing else.

My head feels like it is going to fall off, and I'm pretty sure something has died in my mouth. God hangovers suck. You'd think I would learn not to drink so much. And who the fuck does this shirt belong to?

Somewhere in the grey fuzz that is last night, I seem to remember a guy wearing a shirt similar to the one I currently adorned. He was tall, dark, sexy. God that raspy voice.

Raspy voice?... Like… Happy… Oh Shit!

It all comes flooding back, the bar, the bike…the couch. Oh God.

I toss the blankets back and head for the bathroom. My bladder, no longer willing remain silent, has decided to warn me of its near full capacity. After taking care of that, I brush my teeth and wash the smeared remnants of my makeup from my face.

Gripping the sides of the white pedestal sink I think 'Ugh what the hell was I thinking?' Well I hadn't been thinking, that much was apparent. If I had thought things through last night I would have dragged my sorry ass home alone in a cab. But no I had to go and get plastered then sleep with the Vice President of the local biker gang, and a co-worker. Glancing in the mirror I groan at the pasty, bruise-eyed monster staring back at me, before I flip the medicine cabinet open and down three asprin, with a cupped palm of water.

Feeling marginally more human I exit the bathroom and head for the kitchen, leaning against the wall, since the hallway seems to be tilting, where I can smell coffee.

After a quick scan around the corner it's apparent that Happy has already left. Thank God, I actually sigh in relief. I can just wash his shirt and give it back to him later. I really don't know what I'm going to say to him. 'Here's your shirt,' 'Thanks for the sex?' 'Sorry I jumped you?' I wonder how Megan deals with this kind of thing. I'll have to talk to her later, discretely. I can't believe that out of all the guys in Tacoma I pick Happy as my rebound.

I mean that's what this is right? Just sex, just one night of fun between two acquaintances, no harm no foul. Right? There's no reason for things to be weird. There's no reason for me to be upset that he's not here. I should be thankful he saved me the awkward morning after.

I'm busy fretting over our next encounter (which will probably be at work) while pouring a cup of coffee, when I remember what he said after we had finished.

"Tried to push you outta my head"

"But it didn't work,"

"Should have known better,"

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!

So he wants me outta his head. Maybe last night was just what he needed to do it. Max sure as hell never applauded my abilities in the bedroom. Maybe Happy had figured out what a bad lay I was and things would go back to normal between us.

Or he would tell the whole crew about last night, and I would never be able to live it down.

Fuck. Shit. Mother Fucking Shitty Shit!

This is why you don't fuck people that you work with. It never ends well. I really don't want to have to start looking for a new job, but I don't want to be the joke of the lot either.

I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I jolt, spilling my coffee, when the door opens. I set the cup on the counter, shaking the excess coffee from my hand as I scowl at a very amused looking Happy.

"Brought breakfast," He says, holding up the grocery bag.

"Uh-huh," I say "Watch the coffee," muttering as I head for the sink to rinse my burnt hand. I turn back, dish cloth in hand to wipe up the spill, and collide with Happy's chest.

"Ooof," I say stumbling backwards towards the counter.

"You alright?" he asks, stepping closer. Yup it's his shirt alright. He's wearing just his cut, a pair of jeans and boots. I can see the stubble poking out on his chin and cheeks, from having skipped his morning shave.

"Yeah," I say staring at the puddle of coffee staining my linoleum floor.

"Murph," He tilts my chin up with his index finger. "What is it?"

"Coffee," I say frowning at him, I thought I had told him not to step in it. "Staining the floor,"

He moves aside and leans against the counter, letting me move around him to mop up the counter top. Well so much for skipping the awkward morning after. Why did he come back? Why did he bring breakfast?

Turning back to the sink I rinse the cloth and ring it out, tensing as his hands grip the sink wall on either side of me.

"Do you want me to go?" He asks this voice near my ear.

"No…I…," turning around to face him, I grip the sink behind me. "I'm sorry," I sigh looking up at him. "I don't really know how this works,"

"Well, that depends," he says "On what you're looking for,"

"I'm not looking for anything right now," I say looking away from him. His stare has always made me nervous. Happy is not a man that you can keep things from. At the moment I don't want him reading some unguarded emotion and interpreting wrong.

"Then it doesn't have to be anything," He says. I'm sure my mouth is hanging open as I stare up at him. I should have known I had nothing to worry about. This is Happy after all. "I want my shirt back though," he smirks.

"Oh, well let me just go change," I say trying to step to the side. He keeps me caged in.

"You should let me help you with that," he says, intent clear in his eyes.

"Oh really?" I smirk back at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

His arms come around me as I rise to my toes and press my lips to his. His hands fist in the extra fabric of my shirt, before pressing flat against my back, pulling me flush against him. Our lips meld together, as he tilts his head to the side. My tongue glides over his bottom lip, teasing the fullness at the center, before he opens to me, his tongue gliding against mine as the kiss deepens.

"Bed this time," I reminded him when we break for air.

Nodding, he scoops me up over one shoulder. Wrapping an arm around my knees, he slaps my bare ass before turning down the hall and showing me just how fun nothing can be.

Later, lying tangled in the sheets and his arms, I trace the dragon that loops across his chest and abdomen, following the curve of the tail down below his belly button and back up the other side. Having finished with the dragon, I move to switch to the smiley faces.

Hap grabs my wrist, before my finger lands on my first target, pulling my hand back up to his chest and resting it over his heart. "Ticklish?" I ask half asleep. He snorts in reply, neither, agreeing or disagreeing.

"Hmmm?" I sigh, rolling on to my stomach to look at him, batting my lashes.

"Don't even think about it," He mumbles not bothering to open his eyes. A wicked smile spreads across my face.

'Too late, already thought about it' I think as I throw one leg over his hips and straddle him. Leaning back I manage to wriggle my hand free, as he opens his eyes to look up at me.

"You'll be sorry," He says, molten chocolate peeking at me from under black lashes. "I warned you," He grumbles, letting his eyes fall closed once again.

"And just what are you gonna do, huh?" I ask wiggling my fingers at him "You'll be laughing too hard to defend yourself,"

"You've gotta stop sometime," He says, his dark orbs opening fully to bore into me.

"Wanna bet?" I reach down and lightly trail the tips of my nails across his stomach, smiling as the muscles tense. I continue the light caress up his chest, over his right pectoral muscle, and down the outside of his arm, following the movement with my gaze. He hisses in a breath as goose bumps break out in the wake of my touch.

I raise a brow at him as his hands grasp my hips. He is scowling at me, his cool eyes going hot.

"Oh, like that do you?" I ask, grinning as he glares at me. I let my fingers glide over his sides, to the muscle line running down his chest. Dipping the pad of my index finger in the hallow of his collar bone, I follow the line down the center of his body, circling around his belly button before toying with the hairs at the top of his "Happy" trail.

Spreading my hands out, I cup his hips, letting my thumbs slide up the V created by his abdominal muscles. Christ he's built. All lean, rippling muscles, covered with the most wonderfully smooth, tan skin.

I love his ink, even though I don't know what any of it means. Part of me wants to ask, but a bigger part thinks that would be to personal a question, and not at all what we agreed on in the kitchen. No point in mucking up the fun with intimacy.

My palms glide back up his rib cage, thumbs brushing against his stiff nipples. Grabbing my wrists, Happy flips us over, so I'm on my back.

"My turn," He growls down at me. Transferring both wrists to one of his hands, he pins my arms to the mattress above my head. Kneeling between my legs, he sits back a little and watches my face as he runs his hand from my shoulder, down the valley between my breasts and over to my hip.

My skin flushes at his touch, and already the need begins to build.

Gliding up my side, he lets his fingers trip up the underside of my arm, making me twitch away from his touch. My breath catches.

"Thought so," He smirks. I pull against his grasp trying to break free. "Easy," He says, leaning down to kiss me sweetly. "I'm not nearly finished with you yet." He trails his lips to my jaw, across my throat "There are things I've dreamt of doing to you," he says flicking my earlobe with his tongue. "I'm gonna do 'em all." He comes back up to my face, looking into my eyes. The look he gives me adds just a hint of fear under all that desire. "You're gonna let me," I nod, unable to verbally respond.

Letting go of my wrists he laces his fingers through mine while kissing me. Bringing our hands down to my sides he slowly trails kisses down my neck, over my shoulder, letting his stubble tickle the side of my breast as he passes. My breath catches as he lays his lips on my hipbone; reflexively I try to close my legs.

Hap releases my hands in order to scoop my hips off the bed, leading my legs over his shoulders. He kisses the inside of my thigh, while his hands cup my ass. Every muscle in my body is tense. Normally I'm not a big fan of oral, and today is no exception.

Max liked to complain that he never got head, but he wasn't exactly doling it out either. The few times that we had tried it had ended with us both being disappointed. Him because his jaw had cramped up, and me because I was no closer to cuming then I had been at the start. I'm a firm believer in "if you wash my back I'll wash yours," hence no head for poor Maxy. Besides, he liked to push on my head and I hate that shit. Rude!

"Kira?" Happy asks, drawing my attention back to him. "Relax," Happy says, his breaths cool on my warm flesh. I nod and will my muscles to unclench. Slowly he runs his lips up the inside of my thigh, one hand releasing my bottom to gently probe my folds. Spreading moisture from my core over my lips, he lowers his head, placing a kiss just above the triangle of hair the Brazilian waxer left.

I can feel myself tremble as he moves lower, letting his tongue split me as he licks from my core to my clit. At the sensation of his tongue on the bundle of nerves I arch my hips up, feeling his finger slide into me as I lower them back down. Slowly he tastes me, letting his finger slip in and out.

"Christ Happy," I cry out as the wave builds and crests, running my hands over his head, I cum with a final flick of his tongue. Hap lowers my legs back to the mattress, and crawls back up my body. I crack my eyes open as he hovers over me, only to close them again when Hap kisses me.

"Turn over," he says, breaking the kiss.

I turn on to my stomach, and he pulls me to my knees with his hands on my hips.

"Don't move," He says stroking a hand down my back as I hear the condom wrapper tear. His hand cups my hip again as he aligns himself with my opening and takes me from behind. One hand remains on my hip, pulling me back, into his thrusts. While the other splays across my back, stroking.

The rhythm is hard and fast, before I've had time to adjust to it, he wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me so my back is pressed against his chest. I can do nothing but let my head fall back on his shoulder, as he cups my breasts, kneading the flesh. One of his hands brushes down my stomach, to where we are joined, and he starts to circle his thumb around my clitoris, causing me to moan.

Reaching up and wrapping one arm around his neck I pull his mouth down to mine, as he pumps into me. "Happy," I whisper as he drives me over the edge


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Note: Thank you to all who reviewed and added this story to your alerts or favs. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I profit from nothing

Warning: LEMON, if you aren't into that kind of thing don't read further.

Chapter 9

He sleeps; stretched out on his back on my bed, with only a sheet covering him. He almost looks peaceful, and I can't keep the smile from my face as I look up at him. Kissing his shoulder I slide out from under his arm, and wrap up in my fuzzy pink robe, heading for the bathroom.

Grabbing a towel from the closet, I adjust the water temperature and drop the robe to the floor. Sighing as I step under the spray, I let the hot water run over me, enjoying the sting.

I'm wonderfully sore in several areas. Area's I was worried had maybe attrified. Thank god they hadn't. Thank god for Happy. I can't remember the last time I felt this good, my muscles this loose, my body so thoroughly used.

Turning around I tilt my head back, letting the water soak through my hair. A rock show and several bouts of sweaty, mind-blowing sex with Hap do not make a good smelling Kira. Grabbing my Pro-vitamin shampoo I lather up my hair, then wash my face with Shea butter body wash, before dunking my head under the shower head to rinse. Wiping the excess water off my face, I open my eyes and nearly scream.

Happy is standing outside my shower door, smiling at me.

"Jesus," I say as he pulls the door open. "You almost scared me to death,"

He reaches out and trails his fingers down my neck. "Still beating," He says his finger resting on my pulse point.

"Funny," I say glaring up at him.

"I thought so," He says, letting his hand slide around the back of my neck as he pulls me closer. "Woke up without you," He says, curling me into his naked chest.

"Had to shower, the funk was getting to me," I say wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Me to," He chuckles, as I slap his naked ass.

"Well here," I say turning in his arms and grabbing my body wash from the shower caddy.

He eyes the container. "Is it gonna make me smell fruity or flowery?"

"No," I say, turning the bottle around and holding it up for him. "No perfumes or harsh dyes. All natural with a quarter moisturizer,"

"Great," He takes the bottle "You do me, I do you," and winks at me, tipping the bottle back and forth.

"Oh no," I say backing away. He smirks at me, stepping closer, advancing until I'm pressed against the shower wall. "If we do that, you know it's just gonna lead to…You can't possible want…"

"And if I said I did?" He asks, laying the palm of his free hand flat on the wall next to my head.

"You are on your own buddy," I say. "There is no possible way…"

"Sure there is," He says leaning in and kissing me. "But, I was just asking you to wash my back for me,"

"Oh?" I question, raising an eyebrow at him. "Sure, turn around," I say taking the bottle back from him. After squirting a healthy dollop on to my green shower poof I work it up into a lather, and start with his shoulders, working my way down his sculpted back, over his rounded buttocks and down his firm thighs and calves. Once his back is lathered to my liking, I duck under his arm to stand in front of him. Again starting at his shoulders I work my way across his thick chest, down his sculpted abs and lower, making sure he's covered in soap from just under his chin to the tips of his toes. I purse my lips and consider washing his head.

"What?" He asks me, smiling.

"Dumb question," I say "but do you use shampoo on your scalp or just soap?"

"Soap," He shrugs "No point in using shampoo," he rubs a hand over his baldhead.

"Well, here, tip back a little," I say pouring more body wash into my hand. He bends at the knees and leans back letting the water rain down on his head. Standing on tip toe I mold my body to his and reach up massaging the soap into his scalp. His hands clasp my hips, as I smooth my hands over his head, making sure the soap is rinsed.

"There," I say dropping back to my feet. "Rinse." Turning away I grab my conditioner and start working it through my hair.

"Here," Happy says from behind me, as his fingers dive into my hair, massaging my scalp. "Got all that goop rubbed on?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say looking down at my now conditioner smeared hands. He makes slow small circles, pressing just slightly, working from the hairline on my forehead, towards the crown of my head. I lean back, bumping up against Happys naked form.

"What is it?" He asks.

"Conditioner," I nearly purr as my eyes close. 'Ahhhhh that feels soooo good'. His thumbs have made their way to the base of my skull, and are massaging the tendons of my neck.

"What's it do?"

"Lets me brush through my hair," I sigh, as his hands leave my scalp.

"So, I should comb it through right?" He asks.

"Hmm?" I say "You were doing great, just keep doing that,"

"What'll you give if I do?" He asks turning me around and wrapping me in his arms.

"Breakfast?" I offer hopefully.

"I brought breakfast," He says patting my bottom.

"Oh that's right…" I say "And just what did you bring, four hours ago?"

"Muffins, smart ass," He scowls down at me "From that place on third,"

I know the place well, stopping in there every morning for a fresh blueberry muffin and a cup of regular coffee. Usually I grab donuts or bagles for the guys in the garage, and I buy their dark roast by the pound for the shop.

"I love those muffins," I sigh, my eyes glazing at the thought of biting into one of those fluffy pieces of goodness. I can taste the dough, infused with burst berry juice, and the slug of sweetened coffee to wash it down. "Let me scrub down and we'll dig in. I'll make you eggs," I offer as insentive for him to move out of the way. "And fresh coffee,"

"Beat out by muffins," He sighs kissing my forehead "That's a first. I'll grab you a towel," he offers stepping out and wrapping the towel around his waist. "Where are they?"

"Closet outside the bedroom door," I say stepping into the spray as he closes the door. I've got the poof lathered before he comes back, and take only moments to scrub down. Since my imagination has gone into over drive thinking about the muffins, my stomach has decided to remind me that I haven't eaten anything in the last thirteen hours or so.

Drying off quickly I wrap my hair in the towel and put my robe back on.

"Alright," I say rubbing my hands together as I enter the kitchen. "Who wants food?"

Hap just raises and eyebrow at me from his perch on the stool at the counter.

"Eggs?" I ask him turning towards the fridge.

"Sure," He says.

"Scrambled, fried, potched, over easy, or omelet?"

"Fried," He says, watching me get the pan out of the cupboard. "You any good at this?" he asks.

"Uh-huh," I say, setting the pan on the stove, knocking a slab of butter into the bottom, before turning the heat on. "It's just eggs. You gonna have a muffin to?" I ask turning to the counter where he set the bag when he came back this morning.

"Nah," He says "Already had mine," He grins at me, as I look up from the muffin bag.

"Ha, Ha," I say turning back to the stove, hoping to hide the blush that's crept up my cheeks. Cranking the knob to 350 I set the muffin on the center rack of the oven for a couple of minutes to warm up. In the mean time, I swish the butter around the skillet, and crack two eggs. "Two gonna be enough or do you want more?"

"Twos good," He says. "I started the coffee,"

"See that," I say watching the eggs fry. "Thanks. So do you want these broken or no?"

"No," he says coming up behind me. "Smells good,"

"You must really be hungry," I say opening the cupboard and grabbing two plates.

"I meant you," He says setting his hands on my hips, and sniffing my neck. "What's in that shampoo?"

"Nothing," I say "I try to stay away from dyes, scents, it's all very drying,"

"So that's just you then," He says, brushing his lips against my ear.

"Yep," I shiver.

"Nice,"

"Thanks," I shrug "I do wear deodorant and perfume daily, I just don't like them in my bath stuff," After giving the eggs a flip, I turn in his arms. "You're gonna have to move back or my muffin's gonna burn,"

Smirking at me he steps back a pace so I can pull the oven door open. "You're worse than Koz ya know that?" I say.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," He says, smirk still in place.

"Uh-huh," I smirk back at him over my shoulder.

"You're the one with your mind in the gutter," He says leaning back against the counter opposite the stove. "Every time I say Muffin, you turn all red,"

"It's how your saying it," I shrug, my back to him as I move the eggs from the pan to the plate. "Your tone makes certain implications,"

He raises an eyebrow at me as I turn and hand him the plate. "Generally I don't imply shit,"

"Really?" I ask smiling at him "I never would have figured,"

He moves back around the counter and sits on one of the stools, digging into his eggs.

"Don't you want toast or something to go with that?" I ask.

"Nah," He says, forking up a bite. "What have you got going on today?"

"Uh, nothing," I say "Was just gonna recouperate from the hang over I expected to have today. You got plans?" I ask "I didn't mean to take up your whole day,"

"You didn't mean to take up any of my day," He says pushing his plate towards me. "Or night for that matter,"

"True," I say taking the plate and putting it in the sink. "Doesn't change the fact that I have,"

"You hear me complaining?" He asks taking out a cigarette.

"No," I say turning back to him.

"Then don't worry about it," He says lighting his smoke.

"Alright then," I say, looking down at my feet, realizing that I'm still in my robe. "Uh, I'm just gonna go get dressed. Make yourself at home,"

When I come back out into the living room, clad in jeans and long sleeved grey shirt, Happy is flicking through channels on the tv.

"Anything good?" I ask sitting down on the opposite end of the couch.

"Nah," He says, tossing the remote on the cushion between us, having settled on a rerun of After Humans. Sitting Indian style on the couch, I start to brush out my hair.

"Why don't you leave it wavy?" He asks.

I shrug. "It's too hard to get it to do anything when it's like this," I explain.

Once I'm sure all the snarls are gone, I separate the mass into three sections and braid it, tying it off with a black scrunchy band.

"You should leave it down more often," He says. Shrugging when I glance at him, he adds "Looks good down,"

"Thanks," I say, tossing the braid back over my shoulder, "But it gets in my way. I spend most of my day with my head bent over work orders or the key board. It sucks having to shake your hair back every few minutes, so I just wrap it up, and be done with it,"

"Don't have that problem," He says running a hand over his bald head.

"Yeah well I am not shaving my head," I say crossing my arms over my chest, and turning back to the tv.

"Only reason I shave mine, is so my helmet fits better," he shrugs.

We watch tv in silence for a while, each having a refill on our coffees. Truth be told I haven't been watching the show. I've been trying to think up a compassionate way to broach a sensitive subject, without coming off as nosy.

"There was something you wanted to talk to me about?" Happy says, saving me the trouble of finding an opening.

"Uh, yeah," I say, shifting so that I'm facing him. "You can tell me to mind my own business," I raise my hands, palms out. "But, do you remember the other day when you were here for dinner?"

He nods, eyes on my face.

"We kind of talked a little bit about your moms situation?" I prompt, hoping that I am not stepping over some boundary line.

Again he simply nods.

Taking a deep breath for courage I say "Well I was talking to a friend of mine from back home, and she is coming out here. Moving here actually," His brow tightens in confusion, nearly scowling at me, and I know his patience in waining. "Which applies to you because, she's a Registered Nurse, specializing in Home Care for cancer patience. She's gotten a job with the Home-Aide Care Agency,"

He turns away from me, his attention back on the TV. Figuring the conversation is over I turn back to the tube as well. I'm just starting to care about what's going to happen to the aEiffle tower once humans are gone, when Hap says "You'll vouch for her?"

I turn back to him and nod. "Yeah she's good,"

"Who do you know that she's worked with?" He says. "It's my mom, I'm gonna want references from actual patiences,"

"Well," I sigh, 'Here we go. It had to come out some time,' "How much has Bob told you about me?"

Frowning at he says "Not much. What does that have to do with this?"

"You asked for a reference from one of her patience, and I'm giving you one," I say flatly, looking him in the eye. "Besides there are some things that you should probably know now,"


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed, added this story to your favs or alerts. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Sorry this one is kind of short compared to the other 9 chappies.

I promise 11 is longer and gets into Kira's past in more depth.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and profit from nothing

Chapter 10

Max and I had been in the City for a couple of months. We were drowning under the bills, barely able to afford food most days. He'd gotten a job as a bouncer at this night club down town, leaving him days to work on his Art. 

I was going to NYU during the day, and working as a bar tender during the evening. 

One night Max didn't come home after his shift. I called 'The Dark Horse' were Max worked only to find out that he had been fired two weeks before. After trying his cell again, and not getting an answer I started calling the hospitals. When they turned out to be a bust, I went out looking for him.

Starting at the Dark Horse I was able to learn that Max had been fired for dealing while on the door. The owner, Mr. Riggitti, had told him not to come back, but his fellow bouncer Rufus, told me that Max had been dealing out of the alley behind the club. 

Making my way out there I found Max leaned up against a dumpster. 

"Max!, Jesus, are you alright?" I asked running up to him. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked me, one arm clenched around his middle.

"Looking for you," I say "Why didn't you tell me you got fired?"

"It's no big deal," He said, using the dumpster for support as he pulled himself up. "I've got it covered,"

"I thought we were done with this shit?" I said to his back, as he leaned against the large metal box. 

"How else we gonna eat Ki?" He said taking a step forward.

His clothes are grimy and torn, bruises stood out clear on his face, and when he pulled his hand away from the dumpster, he left a bloody print.

"Max," I said taking a step towards him "You're bleeding,"

"I know," He said "Let's go home Ki, it's been a long night,"

All of my anger at him was diffused, concern taking its place. Moving to his side, I wrapped his good arm around my shoulders and took his weight as we walked out of the alley.

He was fading fast, and I was worried that he would bleed out in the cab, before we got home. Staunching the wound as much as I could with my button down shirt, I tossed the cabbie some cash and tried to lever Max out onto the sidewalk, draping his arms over my shoulder, dragging him semi-piggy back style towards the door. 

That's when I met Rachel. She was standing at the door to our apartment building, watching as I drug Max up the steps. Her blue eyes creased in confussion, her full lips nearly pouting at the sight before her.

"Need a hand?" She asked. I nearly laughed at the thought of her petite 5'5" frame helping me carry the nearly unconscious Max inside.

"Could you just hold the door?" I asked, taking a hold of the railing, and trying to pull myself, and Max up the steps.

"Sure," She said stepping back, with the door wide open.

"Thanks," I said huffing past her, the elevator my only goal. 'If I can just get him in there, and to our floor, I can patch him up' I thought as I hit the button for up with my elbow.

"Uh is he okay?" She asked me as we boarded the elevator, and I hit the button for our floor. The pretty blonde has decided that her civic duty should be rewarded with a game of twenty questions.

"Yeah, sure," I said, while shifting his weight a little. "Just had a little too much tonight,"

"Yeah, I can see how a little too much knife to the belly would do that to a person," She stated flatly.

"Look lady.." I started to say.

"I'm not going to report you," She stated. "But I can help you,"

"Unless you're a doctor or something there isn't much you can do," I said.

"Actually I'm a RNA register nurses assistant," She said.

"Well in that case, I'm Kira and this is Max," I said extending my hand to her.

"Rachel," She said.

"She stitched up the four inch long gash down his rib cage," I say taking a sip of my coffee. "Having a friend who's good with a suture came in handy big time back in the day,"

"She stitch Max up a lot?" Happy asks.

"Max, some of our friends, hell, even me a couple of times," I shrug not liking to think about the old days.

"You?" He asks.

I sigh, 'Might as well tell him the whole thing' I think.

"My last name is Murphy," I say, to which he just nods. "You probably know my father, Kenneith Murphy," His eyes go large, well large for Happy.

"And my Mothers Father, Brian Mattice?"

"Leader of the Skulls?" He asks

"Yes," I say, thinking 'No matter how old you get it is still weird to hear your grandfather referred to as the leader of an outlaw biker gang'

"So you're Kenneith and Amy's daughter?" I can see it all start to click into place for him. "Which is exactly why Bob never mentioned any of this to the crew,"

"That's right," I say "And I would appreciate it if we were able to keep it that way,"

"Koz would have a field day," Happy says, a smile creeping over his countenance.

"Which is exactly why he can't know," I say getting up from my seat and taking my empty cup back to the kitchen. Having reached my limit on coffee, I rinse the cup and leave it in the sink

"I'm not gonna say anything," He says laying his palms on the counter of the island.

"Thanks," I say.

"I will ask a couple of questions though," He says, "And I expect answers," As the VP of the Tacoma Charter, a club currently asked to watch my ass, I have no choice but to answer whatever he asks.

"Okay, shoot," I say, wiping my hands on a dishcloth.

"Why here?" he asks, referring to my decision to move to Tacoma.

"At the time it seemed like a good idea to put as many miles between me and NYC as possible," I say, "You can't get much farther than the opposite side of the country,"

"What are you running from?"

"Jubi Subaki," I say, drawing a frown from Happy. "Big time Yakuza, in charge of china town, despite the fact that he's japaneese,"

"Why?"

"Long, complicated story," I sigh. The look he levels at me tells me to start talking.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed, added this story to your alerts or favorites. Your support is greatly appreciated.

Here is the rest of Kira's past. Happy reading.

Disclaimer: I own nothing I profit from nothing

Chapter 11

After Rachel stitched Max up, he couldn't go back to the alley, and refused to talk about what had happened. Assuming that it was just a deal gone bad, I offered to start pushing to the college kids, arguing that it was safer than him selling on the street. He knew that I could handle myself, and I had a direct hook up to my Fathers supply through his local contact. Fortunately Jarred and I went way back, to diapers, so he was cool with keeping my 'side job' a secret from my family.

The Mattices wanted me to get out of the life for a while. I was supposed to keep my nose clean and get my degree. They knew about the jobs I did for dear old dad back home, the drugs, the parties. Nobody bitched because I kept my grades up, got the scholar ship and graduated in the top 10 of my class. 

Mom knew why I did the things I did, and she tried to talk me out of it on more than one occasion, but blood is blood right? You can't fight what you are. My family had tried hard to give all the kids a shot at a life that didn't involve the guns and bullshit. I hadn't been smart enough to see that I was being used. 

It didn't take me long to get back into the swing of things. Having run a minor pot operation out of my book bag back home, I was old hat at this. Hooking up with the rich kids, getting them high on home grown, I made some pretty good money on top of my bartending gig. 

The bar where I worked turned out to be another great avenue for dealing. Guy would come up order a beer and a bag and I'd slip him the packet with his change. Things went on like that for about 6 months. Then Hiro Subaki knocked on my door.

"Good afternoon my dear," He bowed to me, black hair hanging over his face. Rising back to his full 5' 7" tall, he said simply "I am looking for Max Thompson,"

"He's not here," I say trying to push the door closed, only to be shoved back when Mr. Bodyguard comes through it.

"We will wait then," Mr. Subaki said crossing the small living room to the windows giving him a clear view down the street. He was lean, the lines of the grey suite he wore outlines the sweep of his shoulders, the coat nipped in at his slim waist, flared slightly at his hips. Matching pants trailed down to his shiny black shoes. The guy wreaked of money, from his Rolex watch, to his grey jade cuff links, mounted in platinum.

"Yeah sure," I said rubbing my elbow where it had smashed into the wall, when the Sumo wrestler had pushed his way in. "Drinks?" I offer sarcastically.

"Tea if you have it," the strange man said, arms folded behind his back, gaze focused out the window. 

"Black okay?," I asked heading for the tea kettle.

"Naturally," He says never averting his gaze from the street below.

Silence fills the room as I start the water and get three cups out, placing Lipton Tea bags in them. The kettle started to whistle, so I removed it from the burner and poured. He moved back across the tiny apartment and stood on the opposite side of the counter that divided the living room from the kitchen.

"So Mr. Subaki," I said setting the cup in front of him on the counter. "What brings you to my home?"

"So you do know me," He said "I was beginning to wonder,"

I raised a brow at him in question. I never dealt in his territory; everybody knew that to do so without permission was a death sentence. I was hesitant to even sell to Asian kids, never knowing who they may be related to. The last thing we needed was the Subaki's on our ass.

"Your man deals in alleys in my neighborhood," He said sipping his tea. "Runs up gambling debts, and does not pay," he set his cup aside and looked at me. "Then there is the tab with the Pimps. Though meeting you I have no idea why he would stray,"

"How much?" I asked, setting my cup down as well. This wasn't the first time Max had gotten into trouble with gambling and whores. At least back home we'd had my family to protect us. I knew the score there, and where to push, where not to. Here we were on our own. No club, no friends. And he pulled this shit. 

"$150,000," he said flatly, like people blow that kind of money every day on ponies and pussy. 

I do my best not to let my shock show. 

How could he do this to us?

$150,000?! 

We'd never be able to pay that. 

The fucking Japanese Mob was sitting in my living room drinking tea, waiting for him to get home to collect on their debt. 

Fuck.

"There are other ways," He said. Apparently my poker face sucks. "He does not have to die,"

"Oh?"

"I will give you until the end of the week to gather half the money," He said. "I had decided that before I came here. Max is an entertaining man, and for that deserves a chance,"

"And if I can get the $75,000," I asked, knowing it was a long shot.

"We will discuss a payment plan for the rest," He said turning to the door, Mr. Bodyguard holding it open. "Thank you for the tea Ms. Murphy. Please tell Max of the arrangement. I will see you in three days,"

When Max got home later that night I told him about Subaki's visit. He was apologetic and I was stupid. I loved him, I didn't want him to be hurt let alone die. I bought the bullshit excuses.

The cheating didn't bother me. I grew up in a world where relationships depended on your ZIP Code. It was part of the reason that my mom finally got us out. Or thought she did. 

I'd been dealing for my dad since I was 15, moving pot, x, acid through my friends at school. I learned to fight in order to protect myself. There were plenty of guys who thought a chick was easy picking. I could handle a gun better than most men, but I preferred a knife, usually you could make a point without taking a life.

All these skills had helped me establish a foothold on campus. The police were a joke there, most of them wanted to get high just as bad as the kids they watched from their little shack. But, as good as my current client base was, there was no way I was going to get $75,000 in the next couple of days. 

There was one person I could call for a favor. The man I had left home to get away from.

Kenneth had agreed to help me, but he would handle the meet with Subaki himself in two days. In the mean time I pushed everything I could get my hands on, short of myself. I knew Murph wasn't going to let me get away with this scot free. 

I had been selling shit his shit; he would look at it as undercutting. This is exactly what I told Max when we got started, and now we would have to pay. Then there was the $150,000 that I was going to have to barrow off of him to get Max out of trouble. Faced with dancing with the devil I knew or the devil I didn't, I chose not to get my toes stepped on while I got burned.

I raised nearly $15,000 in two days. Leaving me Sixty K short of the half way point I needed to even discuss a "payment plan". My father arrived at 6 and Mr. Subaki was there promptly at 7:30 with Mr. Bodyguard.

Max and my father did not speak to each other the entire time they occupied the same space. He barely spoke to me. 

"Mr. Subaki," My father rose from the ugly plaid couch that occupied the living room, to introduce himself. "I am Mr. Murphy, Kira's father. She has come to me with her trouble and I have no choice but to help her," 

And just like that my happy little fantasy of leading a normal life ended.

I became Kira Princess of the Clubs and Colleges. Every rave, frat party, and late night study secession was sponsored by me. It had been easy enough to find muscle to back me. They weren't the bikers, or my old crew from home, but they did the job.

My father ran around town via pre-paid and set meetings for me. I became well versed in running guns, keeping books, and beating the shit out of people who crossed me. As part of my punishment he often sent me on "final notices". I tried to keep the hits as clean as possible, waiting until the mark was away from family and friends. Besides it's always easier to take out a target when they are alone, no chance of help.

Rachel could have finished her internship with all the time she spent patching the guys and I up. Normally I took special precautions to make sure that I would take the least amount of damage possible. Kevlar vests are expensive and only cover the chest, leaving limbs and the head exposed so I had sewn metal plates into the leather of my boots, protecting my shins. Most of my jackets were lined with chain mail. A heavy outfit, but a great work out, especially when you're trying to chase some asshole down the alley before slicing his throat. Like I said guns are noisy and draw attention, especially on a crowded city street or club bathroom. Silencers are expensive and I was working on a budget.

Things went great for a while. I was able to live both lives. College student by day, outlaw pawn by night. Max thrived, loving every dirty minute of it. I was too busy dealing with my fathers' demands to watch him, and most nights I fell exhausted into bed, not even wondering where he was. That was my mistake.

I graduated with my Masters in four and a half years. Once I had that degree I could go anywhere, teach, or write, anything. Leave that fucking life behind me forever. I was so excited. Until Max told me we couldn't leave, not until the debt was paid. He didn't feel it would be right to run out on it, and he explained how it would take too long to pay dad back with regular jobs.

There had been no trouble with Mr. Subaki, though there had been a lot of business between him and my father, through me, about guns and drugs, territory. The usual king pin shit. I tried to keep my input to a minimum, doing only what I was told. 

One night the fall after I'd graduated, I was on my way home from the publishing house where I worked as a proof reader, when a black sedan pulled up next to me as I headed for the subway. The window of the rear passenger window rolled down to reveal Mr. Subaki.

"Get in child," He said "It is going to rain and there is much for us to discuss," Sighing I turned to scan the street, making sure no one I worked with was around before I climbed in the door he opened.

"Thank you Mr. Subaki, for saving me from a wet walk," I said settling into the seat next to him. I like the rain and wouldn't have minded the walk. Max was doing his disappearing act more and more lately and I couldn't seem to muster the energy to care. I needed the time in my own head, the walk would have provided, to sort some shit out. The last thing I wanted to do just then was talk business, or have to relay a message to my Father. 

"How is your job at the publishing house?" The old man asked me. He has changed drastically in the last four years. His hair had gone grey at the temples and his once hard physic was softening. Whatever time was stealing from him physically it made up for in cunning, and I am not looking forward to carrying out whatever scheme he's got cooked up. 

"Fine," I said shrugging, not wanting to talk about my civilian life. The more I could keep the two parts of me separate the better.

"I was surprised that you would take such a lowly position," he said, hands folded in his lap. 

"Everyone starts somewhere," I said, not understanding where this was going. "Mr. Subaki, I don't want to seem disrespectful, but what is this about?"

"No disrespect is taken my dear," He said patting my knee "It must be hard to spread yourself so thin, Working overtime at the firm, then, all the running for your father. And the trouble with Max of course,"

Here we go; finally we are getting to the nitty-gritty. "What's he done now?" I asked, unable to keep the weariness from my voice.

"The same things that inspired our first encounter," He said "On a much larger scale,"

"I can't help him," I said looking out the window. All my money was tied up in paying my father back the $150,000. Every job I did for him was free, in order to pay that back. All I had was what I made at my 9-5, and that took care of the bills in the apartment.

"That is a pity," He said "I was hoping to come to some kind of agreement, since we have become friends over these last years. But if you would rather just be free of him, it can be arranged,"

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, not liking where this was going. The one thing that remains constant in my life is that nothing is free, and when the Japanese Mob is offering to help pull your ass out of the fire, you know the cost is going to be steep.

"Your father has put plans into place to take over for your grandfather," He said, as if it were common knowledge. "He has asked for my help in this matter. In exchange for guns and man power, I will get you, to do with as I see fit, in payment for Max's debt. He will get Max" He turns and looks at me, "I can see this is not to your liking. Ah well, not to worry child. That is why I am here. I have accepted his offer, but only so that I may help you"

My father was a traitor. He was going to start a war to have my grandfather removed from his seat. He had sold me to the Japanese for ammo and bodies. Max was buried so deep in debt that there was no way for me to dig him out. 'So much for getting my shit together on the walk home' I thought. Now I had a whole new series of problems to deal with. 

"Why wouldn't you help my father?" I asked "He's been good to you over the years; the two of you practically run this city,"

"Sometimes I forget how young you are child," He sighs, letting a hand smooth down my hair. "I have run this city with you for the last four years. It is your blood that runs in its streets. It will be you who the people rise to protect,"

"Why? All I do is his bidding," I look away from the old man, shame filling me. I had trusted my father and Max, and both had betrayed me. 

"Is it his bidding for you to volunteer at the shelters? To play with the children there? To feed the homeless and make sure they have clinics to go to for medicine? Is it him that makes you protect the people in our territory? Because of you the streets of this borrow are safe from gangs, and dealers who don't care wither or not their clients end up dead. The women who work here are free of beatings. How many have you helped get off the streets?" He said taking my hand in his. "Kira, you are a good woman, do not let your capability for destruction detract from that. You saved Max once; you will do so again, even though you no longer love him. You may deal in the profanities of life, my dear, but you still manage to rise above it, and drag those around you up with you." I nearly choked on the emotion that welled up in me. 

How could he see me like that? The things I've done, the people I hurt. Sometimes I felt like it has tainted me. 

"What is your plan Mr. Subaki?" I asked, looking into his eyes as he smiled at me.

Turned out to be a pretty good plan. I placed a few phone calls to contacts back home and let them know what was coming. If dad wanted a war, he'd have one. I pulled in every gun, drug and enforcer contact I had, if we were going to stop him, we needed muscle, ammo and cash. 

Max was being held by Mr. Subaki's son Jubi, in a warehouse down town. There was nothing I could do for him until the fireworks started. Jubi was a staunch supporter of my father and completely willing to help him murder my grandfather. Hiro had let Jubi set the meeting with my father, thinking that everything was going according to Murph's plan. It would be late at night, a week after I had met with Hiro after work. A large shipment of guns was coming into port and we needed to be there to pick it up. Jubi was my contact, and would take me back to the warehouse for Max after we were loaded.

When the truck pulled up to the doors, I could see my father standing with Mr. Subaki, next to Max who was tied to a chair. He'd been beaten to a pulp, one eye swollen completely shut, blood tracks ran down from his nose, and the cloth they used as a gag was stained pink with blood. My heart clenched at the sight of the man I loved broken and bleeding.

"Don't worry," Jubi said, pulling the truck into the warehouse "He'll live. It was no more then he deserved," Turning off the ignition he climbs out of the cab and it takes everything in me not to pull my glock and fucking end it right then. 

I climbed out and followed Jubi around the back of the truck, to help him unload the cargo. 

"Once this is finished I'll kill him, and you'll be mine," He said, as he gave me a hand up into the truck. He pulled me close, his grip bruising my arm. "I never thought that my father would allow me to marry an American woman, but he is quite taken with you. It shouldn't take a lot of persuading. Then you and I can take over, run the city," I wrenched free, and walked past him without speaking. We unload the crates of guns while my trigger finger itched. I am going to enjoy splattering this self-important brat all over the concrete floor.

Once we handed off all of the creates to Jubi's crew I jumped out of the bed of the truck, and walked back towards my father and Mr. Subaki.

"Kira," My father said coming to hug me, like he actually cared. "Wonderful job as always. My little girl always did have a head for business," He kissed my forehead and stepped back, turning his attention to Max "But your personal life definitely leaves something to be desired. Why must you always pick losers Kira?"

'They remind me of you,' I think trying not to shudder as he wraps an arm around my shoulders and turns us to face Max.

"You know what I'm going to ask you do to don't you?" He said. "The boy has become a disgrace, and must be dealt with. Since all previous attempts to teach him his place have failed, there is only one course of action left to be taken," He pulled his desert eagle out of his shoulder holster and handed it to me, grip out.

I shook my head, and bent down to pull the knife from my boot. "If I'm gonna do this, it's going to be my way," I said moving towards Max. His eyes grew huge, and he struggled against the chair.

"Stop," I told him. "You did this to yourself. I can't even look at you," I walked around the back of the chair. 'Shit, hand cuffs,' I had been hoping that they would just use rope. The pain in the ass about plans is that they very rarely work out the way you figured they would.

"What are you waiting for Kira?" My father asked. "Just do it," One word from me and my fathers' world would end. He would be excommunicated from the club, if not killed. I was about to cut his heart out, and he looked at me with hatred in his eyes. In that moment I knew that there had never been love between us. All I had ever been to him was a tool, one that was fast reaching the end of its usefulness. How long would be it before I was tied to a chair like Max, beaten, left for dead?

I could actually feel the pain in my chest, as my heart tore in two, the moment I decided to betray my father. Flinging the knife I manage to take out Jeremy, my dad's guard. The gun shot from Mr. Subaki was supposed to be the signal. Only instead of taking out my father as he was supposed to, Subaki shot the chain between the handcuffs, freeing Max, leaving my father the perfect opportunity to pump two into his chest.

The doors to the warehouse were whipped open, and several vehicles came to a screeching halt just inside the warehouse as I watched Mr. Subaki fall, his eyes wide and lifeless. I left Max sitting on the chair and went to Mr. Subaki, kneeling next to his body, but he was dead before he even hit the ground. 

"Traitorous Bitch!" My father yells, grabbing my shoulder and spinning me to face him. The room had erupted in gunfire, screaming and smoke. I could hear none of it over the blood thrumming in my ears. 

The crack of his gun across my face snapped me back into the moment. "I'll kill you for this," He was saying, as he raised his hand against me once more. 

"No," A large tan hand covered in white hair grasps my father's wrist before he can swing down. "You have done enough," My grandfather said. "She was supposed to be safe here. It was supposed to be her time to grow, and you twisted it,"

"She came to me for help," My father growls "Because she knew that you were too old to take care of business anymore. She doesn't want a coward looking out for her,"

"Leave," Brian Mattice said "Do not come back, or I will kill you,"

The shooting has stopped. 

"This isn't over," My father said to me, as he glared at my grandfather. 

"Yes it is," My grandfather said impatience and furry unrestrained in his voice "You will leave New York, I don't care where the fuck you go, but you will leave. If I hear that you so much as sneezed in that girl's general direction I will hunt you down and show you just how old I am,"

"What about him?" My Uncle Derrick asked, motioning to the unconscious Jubi. 

"Leave him," Was my grandfather's decision. "Maybe someday letting Jubi Subaki live will serve a purpose, but for now, his family has suffered enough," Helping me to my feet, grandpa crouched next to Mr. Subaki, and saying a quite prayer for the man who tried to help me, he closed the Japanese mans eyes for the last time.

"Grandpa took us back to the farm after that. Max spent his time there recovering and bitching that there was nothing to do. I didn't say much to him, I couldn't. All I wanted to do was rage at him; blame him for Subaki's death, for making me get mixed up in all this.

The City was supposed to be our chance at a normal life. All I had wanted was to go to school like a normal young adult. Instead I had become a New York City Crime king pin at the ripe old age of 25, and was experiencing my first bout with expulsion. At least it wasn't banishment.

In the days following our return to the farm, my grandfather called me to his office and asked that I explain what had been going on.

"Why didn't you come to me?" He asked when I had finished. 

"I was ashamed," I said "I had managed to fuck up the only chance I'm ever going to have at a normal life, you and the family were the last ones I wanted to know. Especially Mom. It would crush her,"

"Well she knows now," He said steepeling his hands, elbows on the arm rest of his large leather swivel chair. 

"I can't give you an excuse, or a reason," I said "Max got into trouble and you had said that you wouldn't help him any more so I went to dad," I pinched the bridge of my nose. "I know that it wasn't smart, and I know the trouble I've caused. I also know that saying sorry isn't enough. We lost men because of me, families are fatherless, because of the decisions that I made,"

"My decision still stands," He said "Max cannot stay here past his recuperation,"

"Then we will leave as soon as he is able," I said standing. 

"Oh and just where do you think you're going to go?" He asked rising as well. 

"I'll let him decide,"

"And he picked Tacoma," I say finishing the story.

"Jesus Christ," Happy says rubbing a hand over his face.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

'Yeah, kinda puts a damper on the whole 'lets fuck around' thing,' I think, "You asked," I shrug, averting my gaze to the TV in the other room.

"I just never would have thought… Jesus Murph," He says, my gaze flicking back to his inscrutable face. 'Well it was fun while it lasted,' I think, as I start to fidget uncomfortably.

Maybe his attraction to me was based on the fact that I was a "good girl" here, and I totally just blew my cover.

Happy takes a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it, staring at me through the smoke. I force myself to meet his gaze, unflinchingly. I would not show him the shame that I feel over the things I've done, over how much I liked doing those things. A big part of me missed it, and resented the fact that I was now forced to work a desk.

"What happened to Max's debt?" he asks.

"No idea," I say, "I walked away. Whatever Jubi wanted, well, I was assured it wasn't going to come from me,"

"Would Brian cover it?" His tone is flat, interrogative as he flicks the ash from the end into the ashtray.

"No," I scoff at the idea.

"Would he have gone back to New York?"

"I have no idea what Max would do,"

"You were with him for four years; at least that's what you told Sara and Koz,"

I scowl at him, 'So now my credibility is in question. Great this is exactly the way I wanted the 'hire my friend' conversation to go' I think.

"I don't think Max is stupid enough to spit in Jubi's face by going back to the city. He's not welcome back home, there's no way he would go there. So, no, I don't know where he would go, who he would turn to," I sigh looking away. I don't know the man walked out the door, I hadn't known him for a long time.

"You didn't ask where he was going?"

"He was gone when I got back from work that night. All that he left was a note. In it he said he was going back to New York, but I know he wouldn't go there," I say, gritting my teeth on the last words.

"Where's the note?" He asks.

"I threw it out," I lie, it's tucked into one of my journals in my night stand, but Happy doesn't push the issue.

"How long were you with Max?" He asks, taking a drag of his cigarette.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask, annoyed "I've already told way more than I ever planned on. If you have any more questions you should ask Sara or Bob. My grandfather asked them to watch over me while I was here. I didn't ask him to do that, and I don't want…"

"It's about how loyal Max is to you," Happy says stubbing out the cigarette and gripping the edge of the counter. "If he goes back to New York he could sell your location to Jubi in return for a fee pass on his debt or use it as a way into the his organization,"

"Jubi hates him," I glare at Happy. I am not discussing my former relationship with the guy I just had sex with, and Jubi Subaki was a non issue for me. The boy knew that fucking with me would break the tender truce he had reached with my grandfather to stop the complete annihilation of his crew in NYC. Jubi's hold was shaky at best, he couldn't afford to make the big guys back home anymore angry then they already were.

Happy glares back at me for a moment. "Maybe," he says.

"Look it's all been taken care of," I say pressing my palms flat on the counter. His grip on the edge tightens, as does his glare. The eyes that had been warm with longing merely an hour ago, were now hard, cold, and a little frightening. Even for me.

We glare at each other for a few moments, until the phone rings, shattering the tense silence. Pushing way from the counter I stalk over to the phone and snatch the head set from the charger.

"Hello," I say my back to Happy, my free arm wrapped defensively around my middle. "Uh, yeah, sure, I can do that….No it' no problem….Yeah just give me like twenty minutes….Uh-huh…Okay….See you there," I finish the call and place the phone back on the charger.

I turn back to Happy, my face closed off, arms folded around me. "I have to go," I say "If you have more questions, talk to Bob," I turn to the closet and grab my coat and purse, before walking down the hall to the bedroom. I scan the room for the dress I wore last night. It's got my ID in the pocket. I find it in the laundry hamper, of all places, along with my stockings, garter and corset. Fishing my license out of the pocket I turn to see Happy has followed me, and is blocking the door way.

I slip my ID into the back pocket of my jeans and pull on my jacket, eyes locked on his face, wondering what he wanted now, as I flip the hood of my sweat shirt over the collar of my pea coat.

"You didn't answer me Kira," He says arms folded, leaning against the jamb.

"We had become friends in High School, but nothing ever happened between us," I sigh, slipping the strap of my black canvas purse over my head, letting the strap sling across my chest. "Then one night," I shrug, looking away and fidgeting with the strap of my purse. "We just hooked up, and stayed that way. I got him out of some very minor trouble back home, and took him with me to New York City. We were together, romantically for four years, I've known Max, worked with him, for nearly eight. Clear enough?" My gaze falls back on him as I finish.

He nods and straightens, turning from the door and walking back to the living room. I breathe out a sigh, part relief, part frustration, and follow him. He's already at the door, hand on the knob.

"I'll give you a lift back to the shop for your car," he says as I switch off the TV, I nod while stepping to the end of the counter. Glancing around to make sure everything is turned off; I notice that my keys aren't hanging on the ring.

"Here," Happy says tossing them to me and opening the door. After locking up I follow him to his bike, where he hands me his helmet and climbs on. After strapping the helmet on I rest my hand on his shoulder for balance as I swing my leg over the seat. Sitting behind him I rest my hands on his waist, only to have him pull my arms around him, forcing me to press against his back. "Hang on," Is all he says as he fires up the bike and peels away from the curb.

The drive to the shop is usually fifteen minutes, when you do the speed limit. We made it in a little over five. Once the bike was fully stopped in front of the clubhouse I pry my fingers off Happys cut, and hop off the back of the bike. I couldn't keep my hands from shaking as I took the helmet off and handed it back to him, without meeting his eyes. It had been a long time since I had been on a bike and flying through crowded city streets wasn't exactly the reintroduction I had had in mind.

Once I know he's got a grip on the helmet, I release it and turn to walk to my car, parked over by the office, only to be stopped when Hap grabs my wrist. My eyes fly to his, as a frown creases my brow. He just stares at me for a moment before releasing my wrist. Saying nothing I do finally turn and make my way across the lot.

Climbing into Betsy I start her up, and press mute on the cd player when A Day to Remember comes blaring out of the speakers. I put her in drive and am just about to turn Bets back toward the entrance when hand slaps my window, making me jump.

Glaring at Koz, I hit the automatic button for the driver's window while his doofy ass grins at me.

"Hey Murph," He smirks "Late Night?"

"Something you wanted Koz?" I ask, unable to keep the weariness from my voice.

"Nah, just checking up on ya," He leans his folded arms on the open window, while squatting down to my level. "Wanted to make sure Smiley didn't break ya or nothing,"

"I'm fine, thanks," I sneer at him. "Actually I'm late for an appointment, if you'd just move back…"

His jovial face melts into one of concern "Everything okay?" He asks me.

"I just said…"

"I know what you just said," He interrupts "I'm asking again,"

"I'm fine," I sigh, "Running late, gotta go," I try to wave him back, but his attention has shifted to Happy who's still sitting on his bike watching us. Koz turns back to me, searching my face for a moment before he stands up and steps back. I roll up the window and pull around, exiting the lot without a glance back at either biker.

I knew that this would happen eventually, that there would come a point in time where I couldn't keep this a secret anymore. The way Hap looked at me, like he didn't even know me, cut me to the quick. And soon they would all look at me that way.

'Well he doesn't know me, none of them do,' the logical side of my brain thinks as I pull into traffic 'And I don't know him or them. It was stupid to sleep with him, and stupid to tell him everything like that. Dredging everything back up, when I had tried so hard to just bury it and let it be'.

It wasn't that I couldn't go home. I wasn't banished, or exiled. I just couldn't face the people that I loved now that they knew what I was.

A Drug Dealer

A Pimp

A Murderer

A coward.

I couldn't bear to see the disappointment in their eyes, the disgust, so I had run away with Max, cleaving to him in a pathetic attempt to hold on to my past. I had come to terms with that, and I had thought that wound was healing. Oh how wrong I can be.

Even though I knew now that my life would never be normal, I had tried to continue the façade by surrounded myself with good people. Like Sara, tough as nails but I knew I could count on her for anything. She had become my closest confidant since I had moved here, and had listened to me whine about Max on several occasions. She had never chided me, never made me feel like what I felt was wrong. She helped me find the lessons in all this mess. Helped me build a life I could be proud of, the one I had never been able to pull together back home.

Thanks to her and Bob there was no violence, death, and mayhem in my life. Instead I planted a garden with my landlord, volunteered at a local community center, took dance classes. I met people I enjoyed hanging with, though I didn't know any of them well enough to call them friends yet.

Megan and I went to shows, but we also had standing date at a 'paint your own' pottery store, once a month.

I'd joined a book club at Meteoria's. A couple of us would get together once or twice a week and listen to the readings there, sipping coffee. One night we actually got everybody to snap instead of applause. It was hilarious, and done without malice towards the works read or the authors, though not everyone has my sense of humor.

There was a lot of good in my life now. I wasn't going to let what one person thought of my past ruin what I was working towards here. I knew Hap wouldn't say anything to any of the guys, he could keep a secret. And while Koz may have suspected certain things, no one knew what happened between me and Hap, but us.

Sighing I pull into the volunteer center and park the car. Climbing out I grab the large black duffle bag from my hatch back, and walk around the outside of the brick building towards the fenced in play area in the back.

Walking up to the chain link gate, I take a moment to get myself together before I go in. I can see the kids playing tag on the basket ball court. They ranged in age from 6 to 15, all races, all fighting against the same odds, all looking for a place where they belonged and where people cared about them. I can only hope that they find it here. That the few volunteers we have are enough to make a difference in their lives.

I nod to Lucy who's spotted me waiting at the gate. She jogs over, her raven black hair swinging in a loose pony tail behind her. Her hazel eyes shining at me out of her smooth mocha colored complexion, dark brows raised as her full lips smile at me, her oval face beaming at me.

I open the gate and enter the yard as she reaches me. Closing the gate behind me I turn and can't keep the smile from my face. She's glowing, as she always does when she's been playing with the kids.

"Hey thanks for coming," She says, reaching for the duffle bag. "How was the show last night?"

"Great," I smile at her, handing over the bag. The show was fun; it's the after party I don't want to talk about.

"I wish I could have made it," She sighs "But I really needed to go over those financials again,"

"They'll be back around; you'll catch the next one." I say, "You didn't missing anything accept a couple of good bands,"

"That's not the way Megan tells it. You sure your feeling up to dealing with thirty five kids hopped up on sugary morning cereal and cartoons?" She eyes me dubiously "I wouldn't have called, but Kasey is out with the flu…"

"I'm fine," I say "Really. Now let's see if we can't burn off some of that energy with a nice friendly game of Red Rover," I sling my arm around her shoulders as she calls the troops to attention.

Lucy sets the bag next to one of the benches and joins me mid basket ball court.

"Okay, here's the game, Red Rover. When we call your name you have to run at us. If we catch you, you have to join our line, if you break through our hands your safe and can go back to the other side," We demonstrate, calling a couple of the bigger kids, solidifying the center of the chain. We played several squealing, cheer inducing rounds, before switching to Red Light Green Light.

Once the younger kids were tired out the older ones broke off to play with the sport equipment I had brought. Basketball, Soccer, and Volley Ball, teams split up the court space, using the lines painted on the concrete as goals or nets, and hoping that the ancient basketball hoop wouldn't fall down mid game.

We herd the little ones inside for a snack and a story before nap time, leaving Todd to watch over the older kids.

Once they are all passed out on their mats, Lucy and I head into the kitchen, leaving the door open to hear the kids if they wake up. I pour us each a cup of coffee and hand one to her.

"How are we coming on the fund raising?" I ask, adding non-dairy creamer to my cup.

"Not good," She sighs heavily "If we don't do something soon I don't know how much longer we'll be able to stay open,"

I add three packets of sugar and stir, thinking over our options.

"Well there are the usual avenues," I say "Bakes Sales, Car Washes," an idea dawns on me. "What if we did a carnival," I ask.

"Carnival?" She quirks a brow at me.

"Yeah, have games, like ring toss, basketball shoot outs, the one where you pop balloons with darts," I say "We could do the bake sale and car wash at the same time. Maybe we could talk some of the parents into donating their time, free labor,"

"It's a good idea," She says after a moment. "Draw up some plans and we'll see what we can do. It'll have to be done on donations though. The money can't come from the Center, there just isn't any to spare,"

I nod, already drawing up plans in my head.

After nap time, the older kids came back in with Todd and we worked on Art Projects, and broke off into study groups. Todd, a twenty two year old white kid with Blonde hair and eyes the color of maple syrup helped with math and science. He was currently trying to earn his degree in teaching, and could use the time he donated here towards his class credits. He was good with the kids, patient and kind. He is also extremely shy.

Lucy was the director of the facility, but she worked with the kids on music and physical education. She had told me when I first started volunteering that she had come here as a kid, and all she had wanted to do was keep the doors open, giving other kids like her a chance. At thirty two she had been accomplishing her goal for the last three years, after having obtained her Masters in Psychology and Early Childhood Development.

She ran a tidy ship; all volunteers had to help with cleaning, scrubbing and disinfecting. Lucy was adamant about meeting all State, and local regulations on health and safety. Even making sure we were all CPR and First Aide Certified. Background checks were also preformed on anyone who worked with the children. I hadn't been worried about that, I'd never been busted for anything, she knew about my association with the Sons, and wasn't thrilled with it, but she didn't let that detract from the fact that I was an extra pair of hands and good with the kids.

I worked with the kids on their reading, writing and grammar skills. I spoke Spanish, Japanese and Chinese, once the kids found out they wrangled me into lessons three days a week. The kids in the class who grew up speaking those languages thought it was great. They would be my helpers on those days as we would explore their culture. I tried to encourage all of the kids to look into their heritage, and the heritage of others, it was a big world out there, and at the end of the day we all had to share it. Things were more likely to work out if we could understand each other a little.

After the kids are picked up, I stay to help Lucy clean up. We split the tables and chairs, whipping them down with a bleach solution, before she sweeps and I mop. While I finish with dunking the toys in a bucket full of the same bleach solution, Lucy starts on the little kitchen, scrubbing down the counters and loading the dish washer. She takes the bucket I used to clean the toys and empties it, before locking it in the supply cabinet. Then she refills the mop bucket, while I sweep the kitchen floor. Todd got bathroom duty, poor guy, while Kate and Steph took the class rooms. Once the place passed Lucy's inspection we all gathered at the front door, while she locked up. Another rule, no one walked out alone.

"See you Monday?" Lucy asks as we cross the parking lot towards our cars.

"Yup," I smile at her, shifting the weight of the duffle bag to my other hand as I unlock my trunk.

"Have some of those plans for that carnival done up, and we'll talk some more," I nod at her as she climbs in the car. She waits for me to start Betsy before she pulls out of the lot. I let her run for a moment while I light a cigarette, letting the exhaustion of the day wash over me. There was nothing I wanted more than my bed and my pair of flannel pj's with the little sheep on them.

Parking on the street in front of the apartment I lock Betsy and head for the door, checking the mailbox on the way in. Climbing the stairs, I open the door and toss my keys in the bowl on the stand next to the door. Tossing my purse and the mail on the counter I shrug out of my coat and hang it on the peg next to the door.

Putting the kettle on I stretch my hands over my head and turn back to the mail, flipping through it while I what for the water to heat. Bill, junk, junk, Catalog, Bill…nothing important, leaving them on the counter to be dealt with in the morning I head in to the living room, noticing my message light blinking.

There's only one, from my mom, just wondering what I was up too, and how the show went. I'd call her in the morning. Late morning. Okay maybe early afternoon, whenever I decided to roll out of bed. Maybe this shit wouldn't seem like such a big deal after a good night's sleep.

I pour a cup of tea and let it steep while I feed Barbus, who is winding his way through my legs, mewing at me.

"Ya know cat." I say setting the food bowl on its little mat "If you trip me up, and I crack my head open on the way down, nobody is going to feed you, and I am not nearly as tasty as I look. You'll starve. So if you wanna stay in Friskies, stop trying to kill me," I crouch down and stroke his soft back while he chows down.

Taking my tea I head for my room and change before turning to my bed and staring at the mess of tangled sheets and blankets. Sighing I strip the bed, tossing the bedding in the laundry basket before remaking it.

'Call mom, do laundry,' I think as I turn out the light and let myself fall into dreams.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed and added this story to your favorites or alerts. Your support is greatly appreciated. Also I wanted to say thank you for all comments. You are correct. I do not edit very well. I will try harder in the future. If you find something that is awkward, or doesn't make sense, or is bogged down let me know.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything or profit from anything. Please do not sue.

Chapter 13

I spent all day Sunday drawing up booths for the carnival and trying to convince myself that things would be fine at work. Nothing would be any different than it ever was. If Happy and I spoke to each other at all, it would be about routine shop business. He wouldn't bring up anything about Max and Jubi at the office. At least I didn't think he would.

I didn't like the person I was back then. I didn't like talking about it. I did some very horrible things trying to gain the approval and affection of a man who had never felt anything for me. In the end he had sold me.

I had burned shit down.

I had hurt people.

I had killed people.

All of it had been to make my father love me.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

Was I really that weak?

Then I think about all the drugs I took to get through it. Everything was easier medicated, be it amped up or dumbed down, focused or hallucinating. I was amazed I had managed to graduate from college and get a real job.

I'd been clean except for the pot and the occasional drink, since coming to Tacoma. I didn't need the stimulants now that I could leave the party whenever I felt like it. I didn't have to be up until 4 a.m. pushing anymore.

Hell I'd even started volunteering in some lame attempt to make up for what I had done. Like you could be forgiven for killing people.

I had kept my association with the club loose for two reasons. I didn't want Max to be tempted to fuck around and get us in trouble again, and I didn't want to get sucked in again. I want my normal life. I want my chance.

But God parts of that crazy fucked up life could be fun. There are people and times I wouldn't trade for anything.

It's hard to love your life and regret it at the same time.

I had hoped that maybe Happy would understand that. I had heard the jokes in the yard, hints as to what he was, the things he had done. I think now that that's why it all just spilled out the way it had.

Man I really fucked that one up.

All the guy had asked for was a reference.

I should have just given him the number for the agency and told him to follow up that way.

Then there was Koz, and whatever he suspected to be considered. He was not as tactful as Happy, and wouldn't think twice about running his mouth to anyone in earshot about his theories.

Still I do have deniability. Nobody knew what had happened between me and Hap, and as long as neither of us commented either way, eventually the gossip would die down.

I was pondering my options in that area, while dropping the bagels off in the break room and starting the coffee. Turning to head to my desk once finished, I find Hap standing in the doorway.

"Hey," He says, hooking his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans.

"Hey," I say back. The moment starts to drag out, so I start to move towards the door, staring at the middle of Happy's button down, work shirt clad chest.

He straightens, arms dropping to his side, blocking the middle of the doorway.

"Something you need?" I ask raising a brow at him, as I meet his gaze.

"Yeah, a minute to talk to you," He says stepping into the room and closing the door behind him, making me take a step back.

"About?" I ask, continuing to step back as he advances. I hate it when he does this. I know he's trying to box me in so I can't escape. Realizing his game, I stop moving, and level my gaze.

"Saturday," He says, coming to a stop a few feet from me.

"Look I already told you…"

"I talked to Bob," He interrupts, face the usual chiseled granite.

"Oh?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"I wasn't trying to pry into your business," He says. "Living the life you have, you have to know that Jubi could be a problem,"

"And knowing who my grandfather is, you should know that he won't be," I cross my arms over my chest.

"Max is in New York," He says, scowling at the look of shock that comes across my face.

My eyes narrow at him, after I snap my jaw shut.

"How do you know?" I ask frowning at him.

"Is there anything else you can think of that he could give Jubi?" He asks, ignoring my question "Max hasn't been keeping a low profile; somebody gave him the all clear. If you're the only commodity he had to trade, it could come back on the club."

'The club,' I think as it all clicks into place. His reaction hadn't been to my past, but what my present could mean for his brothers.

"If it's a problem I can leave," I say, locking my gaze to his. He scowls at me, the lines at his eyes, and around his mouth tighten.

"No, it's not a problem," he says "If we were to put it to a vote, they'd have your back," He reaches out and strokes a piece of hair behind my ear "I'd have your back," His gaze falls to my lips and I can feel the blush creep up my cheeks. I drop my gaze to his boots, not sure what to do. While my first instinct is to wrap my arms around his neck and dive in, anybody could walk through that door.

"Hap" I say stepping farther back from him. "You guys don't have to do that. I don't want anybody else to be hurt over this," Making sure he's meeting my eyes "I don't want you to be hurt because of this,"

"You know you don't get to decide that," He states.

"Look, just because we hooked up, doesn't mean you have too…"

"One has nothing to do with the other," He says. "Do you have those numbers?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," I say turning to the counter I pull a note pad from my purse and write the number for Home-Aide Agency and Rachel's home number. "Call her anytime, if you get the machine just leave a message, tell her I told you to call,"

He nods taking the slip from me when I turn back, then turns and walks out of the room. Sighing I glance over and notice the coffee's ready. I have just poured my first cup when Sara says "Well glad the two of you got that straightened out,"

She's leaning against the door Hap vacated moments before, feet crossed at her ankles, arms crossed over her chest. "Imagine my surprise at finding Happy at my door step, asking questions about my assistants past. A past he is supposed to know nothing about,"

"I'm sorry Sara," I say looking away as I add creamer and sugar to my cup "I didn't mean to tell him everything. It just kind of happened,"

"Who you tell is your business," She waves me off. "And it ain't like Hap's gonna blab it all over the lot. But what I want to know is why you didn't call me,"

"Honestly," I say "I was just trying to avoid the whole thing,"

"I didn't mean about that shit," She says waving off my past like a pesky fly "I meant, why didn't I get all the juicy details on your hook up with Hap?"

I gape at her for a moment. "I…uh…,"

"He left you speechless. Damn," She says "Always heard Hap was a fun ride,"

My face is on fire, and I know my skin is glowing like an ember.

"Out with it," She says pulling a pack of cigarettes from her coat pocket and lighting one.

"I really don't think this is the best place to have this conversation," I say pulling out my own pack.

Sara simply flicks the lock. "Better?" and leans against it, taking a drag.

I roll my eyes and take a seat at the folding table, pulling the ashtray towards me. "I don't even know where to start,"

"How'd it happen?" She asks. "Last time I knew you weren't looking for a casual hook up,"

"He took me home after the show Friday night," I say exhaling "I invited him in for a drink, and the next thing I know I'm pressed against the door. I couldn't even think. God, it was fantastic,"

"Yeah, Hap's not known for his patience," She says, flopping down in a chair across from me. She props her engineer boots on the chair next to her. "When that boy gets something in his head, well there's just no prying it out."

"It was like he flipped some switch, I didn't even know I had," I take a drag, exhale "Suddenly, I couldn't get enough of him. And God how sexy is that bald head? I gave myself the shivers running my nails over it,"

"So, right there against the door," Sara says, flicking the ash off her cigarette. "I love that, it so hot,"

"No, he wrapped my legs around his waist and we made it to the couch, somehow," I smirk.

"Nice," She smiles back at me while stubbing out her smoke. "And then?"

"He snapped the straps on my thong, undid every little hook on my corset," I rise to pour her a cup of coffee. "Very nimble fingers,"

"I bet," She sighs "God,"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I said that, a couple of times," I say as I sit back down.

"How long did he stay after?" She asks taking a sip.

"No idea," I shrug "I woke up in my bed wearing his shirt. I was getting my first cup of coffee when he came back in,"

"Came back?" She asks setting the cup down.

"Yeah, he picked up some of those muffins from Momma's"

"Christ he brought you breakfast?" Her eyebrows nearly touch her hair line.

"Yup, and after some initial awkwardness, there was round two, three and a shower," I finish.

"Oh to be young," She sighs. "And he stayed for breakfast?"

"Yeah, made him eggs," I smile into my cup. "We were watching tv when we started talking about my friend Rachel,"

"I wondered what had started that whole mess," She states.

"Sorry," I sigh "I was just trying to help him out,"

"I know honey," She reaches out and pats my hand. "It's your secret to keep. You can tell who you want."

"I didn't think he'd actually come to you guys with this. I thought I had answered most of his questions," I frown.

"You did, at least where you were concerned. He wanted to know what we knew about Max and Subaki, if they were after you. There have been no rumbles of that by the way," she assures me. "Though I'm having trouble putting together how Max is funding his little bonanza,"

"I might have had something to do with that," I say, looking away when her gaze falls on me. "I had like $4,000 cash from grandpa stashed in the apartment. It walked out the door with him, along with half my checking account,"

"Kira, why the fuck didn't you tell me?!" She demands "I'll kill that little worm,"

"That, right there, is exactly why I didn't tell you," I say. "He isn't worth the bullet. Besides what was it you said when I told you he'd taken the wine glasses?" I remind her.

"Nearly $7,000 is a hell of a lot more than a couple of fucking wine glasses," she slams her palms on the table.

"The point is," I say giving her a level look that asks her to let it go. I'm not even going to ask how she knows what was in my account. "Max isn't a bad gambler; he could have easily doubled or tripled that money, before he even made it to New York,"

"Well, it explains why we haven't heard anything about a backer," She agrees.

"And Grandpa took care of Jubi," I say "Just because Max is fucking up doesn't mean anybody is coming after me, at least not anymore,"

"Still it wouldn't hurt for you to put out some feelers, see what the mean streets of the Big Apple have to say on the matter," She suggests.

"I'm kind of surprised that Happy knew that Max made it back to NYC. If he was hanging in our old circles, well he'd be dead, but at least I'd know about it. It's possible his source is mistaken" I say. "But I'll make some calls, see what pops up," I take my coffee and we head into the office to get started on our day.

I made those calls on my lunch break, using my prepaid, checking with Carly my best friend back home, Jarred, my former supplier in New York City, and several bookies that I knew Max liked to use. No one had known that he was back in town.

Jarred had laughed at the idea "Ki, even if he could come up with that kind of cash, it's not like Jubi would just let the rest of it go,"

"Yeah I know," I sigh.

"What makes you think he's back in town?" He asks me.

"Got word through a source," I state, not elaborating since I'm not sure how Happy knows.

"Well he ain't tapping old sources, I can tell you that," Jarred says. "The kid burned more bridges then just the one leading to Japan. Especially since his fuck up ripped you outta here,"

"I'm sure shits running just fine without me," I say.

"Yeah, business as usual, it's just not as much fun without you," I can hear the smile in his voice. "When you coming home?"

"What about Subaki? He making any noise?"

"Nah, quiet as a mouse, trying to rebuild his crew after the truce went into effect. He's been sticking to his territory, no one in, no one out. And I refuse to believe that you're actually happy living like a civy," I picture him shaking head, long blonde tresses swaying back and forth. "Talent you have for this shit, Ki, why would you want to do anything else?"

"I'm tired Jar," I say "So tired of it all. It's cost me more than it was ever worth. You know how much sleep I get a night here? 8 hours. 8 glorious, uninterrupted hours. In New York I was lucky to grab a couple of hours a day,"

He laughs out right. "I wish I had known all you needed was a little R and R, I could have helped you out," He clears his throat "Well, like I said, I'll start checking. If he's here, I'll find him,"

"Thanks," I say

"Just promise me that we'll be sipping bubbly, watching the sun rise over the NYC skyline soon. I really miss our morning mimosa's," He says making me chuckle.

"Sure Jar," I say. "Talk to you soon. This numbers secure, call anytime,"

"Sure doll," he says before disconnecting.

I smile, the throat clear and the 'Sure doll' are an old trick of the trade, at least for us. It's a sign that a customers come in, and we've gotta wrap up.

Max hadn't gone back to Stratford either. Not that I thought he would be stupid enough to hide out under my grandfathers nose.

It was always possible that he was using a proxy for all of his gambling, and street walkers didn't usually ask for a client's name, but I trusted Jarred's contacts. He was hooked into every level of the metropolis, from the million dollar trust funder, down to the seediest dive, and they were all loyal.

I lean back in my chair and stare out the window across from my desk, forcing myself to consider what Happy had said. If Max was back in New York, and Jubi was lying low, it was possible that the two had made a deal. The only thing that Max had was my location, if he sold it to Jubi, I had no doubt I'd be hearing from Mr. Subaki soon.

Maybe it was time to install an alarm system, just to be on the safe side.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Sorry for the space of time between updates. I'll try to be more consistant.

Happy reading, I hope you enjoy

Disclaimer: I own nothing I profit from nothing.

Chapter 14

It was almost 9 before I get home from the Community Center, having stayed to help clean up and to go over some of the ideas I had drawn out with Lucy. She approved of the overall idea and decided we would start hitting up local businesses for the supplies.

'They might be more willing to help if we offered them a "thank you" sign posted at the booth they sponsored, as well as a tax deductable receipt for their donation.' I think as I unlock my front door. 'Something to talk to Lucy about,'

Well it was a start at least, we had the concept, unfortunetly we only had until the beginning of July to get it all together. Just about three months to get funding and permits, find extra volunteers, build booths, organize events, advertise.

I sigh, thinking about all the things that need to be done. Lucy had given me a print out of businesses she thought would be willing to help out based on past donations. I would start there utilizing my lunch breaks to hit them up by phone.

My job doesn't leave me a lot of time for the Center, usually I just volunteer on the weekends, when I can actually spend time with the kids. The shop is open Monday through Saturday 7-6. Sara and I share Saturdays, her working one, while I take the next. Whoever doesn't get a full weekend off gets the following Wednesday.

Hanging up my purse and my coat I head to the fridge to dig out some left over pizza and a Sam Adams before hitting the sofa and queing up the DVR'd soap opera I'd watched since I was twelve. Taking a slug of my ice cold beer I set it on the coffee table and settle in. I'm getting ready to take a bite of my nuked slice when the door bell rings.

Sighing I set the plate down and check the peep hole before unlocking the door and stepping back to let Happy in.

"Hey," I say "What's up?"

"Nothing," He says coming to a stop at the end of the kitchen counter, his back to me, as he scans the living room.

"Okay," I say re-engaging the locks. "Want a beer?"

He merely nods. I roll my eyes at the back of his head. "Why don't you head into the living room, while I grab that," I say turning towards the fridge. "I was just having dinner, reheated pizza, want a slice?"

"Sure," He says from the other room.

Grabbing extra napkins, after heating him up a slice, I take the whole load back into the living room and hand it to Happy. He nods his thanks, before setting the beer on the table, and leaning back with his plate.

"What the hell is this?" He asks motioning towards the tv with his slice while I settle back on the couch.

"Oh shit," I say snapping up the remote "Sorry it's a soap opera, old habit I've never been able to break," I scan through channels until I stumble across a motorcycle documentary on one of the History Channels. "Okay?" I ask before setting the remote down.

He nods, taking a bite of the pizza. We watch the program and eat in silence.

"So," I say lighting a cigarette at the commercial break after we've finished eating. "What are you doing here Happy?"

"Out riding around," He shrugs lighting his own smoke "Ended up here,"

"Uh-huh," I say. "All the shit there is to do in this City and you end up at my door,"

He turns his gaze to me, a slight frown clear on his face.

"Can't help but wonder," I say "Are you babysitting or is this a booty call?"

His frown deepens. "I told you…"

"How do you know Max is back in New York City?" I interrupt him. "No one I've talked to has heard anything about him,"

His face melts back to blank as he takes a moment to consider his answer. "Bob heard from one of his contacts. I didn't ask which one, but he wouldn't have said anything unless he was sure,"

I nod accepting his answer, but making a mental note to ask Sara again what she knows. I can't help but wonder what it means if her own husband has been reluctant to talk to her about the situation.

"What are you doing here?" I ask again.

"Seems to be dinner and a beer," He says.

I roll my eyes and turn back to the tv, letting it drop for now. Stubbing out my cigarette I rise and cross to the book case where I keep my party box. Grabbing my bag and papers I return to the coffee table. Sitting on the floor I break out enough pot for a joint and roll it up. Leaving the supplies on the table I rejoin Happy on the couch and spark it, passing it along after a couple of puffs.

'Fuck it,' I think 'I'm too tired to play twenty questions. We'll smoke this, then he'll leave and I can take a shower before bed,'

Barbus hops up and lays on the arm of the couch next to me and I idily scratch behind his ears in between hits. The numbness starts to slip over me and I can feel every muscle in my body start to relax.

'Christ it's been a long day' I think as I crack my neck, and stretch my arms up over my head. 'Maybe I'll skip the shower tonight and take one in the morning' Leaning forward I grab my beer and take a swig as I sit back. We finish the joint and the beers before I stand up to put everything away.

"'Nother beer?" I ask Hap, as I grab our plates and empties. Hoping that he'll decline and head back to the club house in search of easier prey.

"Sure," He says. 'Damn'

"You can change it," I say motioning towards the tv with my head before turning and carrying the load to the kitchen. He doesn't reply, and I don't hear the channels changing. Grabbing two fresh beers I head back to the living room, and resume my seat on the couch before handing Happy his beer.

"Why were you at the Community Center tonight?" He asks after a few moments of silence.

"How do you know where I was?" I ask "Did you follow me?" he doesn't answer, taking a slug of his beer instead. "Why did you follow me?" he still doesn't answer.

"Okay, you know what," I say setting my beer on the table "It's late and I'm too tired for whatever this is," I rise, waiting for him to do the same. When he remains in his seat I sigh and cross my arms over my chest. "I told you what you wanted to know. I was honest with you. I don't know what else you want me to say,"

He leans forward and sets his beer on table. "Yeah I followed you. I'm going to keep following you. Why do you go to the Communtiy Center?"

"I volunteer there," I state flatly, glaring at him. "Why are you following me?"

"To make sure no one else is,"

"Satisified?" I ask.

"No," He rises, turning to face me. "I won't be until we know you're in the clear,"

"We?" I ask "This is club shit? You're here because of the clubs obligation?" I can feel the wall slide up, shielding me from the hurt I feel, giving me the time to get him out of here before I crack. "Leave," I say "Get out,"

"I'm not leaving, I've got,"

"Orders?" I interrupt. Walking to the door I reach into my purse and pull out my Barratta. It's a girl gun, but one I can handle, and easy to conceal. Setting it on the table next to the door, I pull my 6 inch hunting knife out of the inside pocket of my coat and set it next to the gun. "If your orders are to protect me, well, I think I got that covered," I sneer. "I'll be sure to talk to Bob, there is no need for you guys to babysit," I unlock the door and hold it open "Drive safe," I say gesturing for him to leave. My fist tightens on the knob as he moves towards the open door.

Instead of walking through it, he grabs the edge of the door and slams it shut before rounding on me.

"Let's get some shit clear," He says as he grabs my arm "I am nobody's puppet. If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be," He says glaring at me as I try to pull out of his grasp. "I get that you can handle yourself, but these are some very well connected, dangerous people,"

"I know what they are. I worked with them for years. Lived with one for longer," I say through gritted teeth.

"Then you know the kinda shit they're capable of. What they'd do to you if they found you,"

"Why do you care?" I ask exasperated. "What does any of this have to do with you or the club?"

"Your grandfather…"

"Big fucking hairy deal!" I shout pushing against his chest "So fucking what? I've been here for months and nothing has happened. Even if something did you are not responsible for me" I can actually hear his teeth grind together as he grabs my other arm and pulls me against him. "There is no reason for you to be here. Leave," I say as calmly I can, hoping that he can't feel me shaking, as I try to control my temper.

"No," He says. "I'm not leaving. I'll stay on the couch, you don't have to talk to me, but you will not be alone,"

I sigh and look away. "How long?" I ask "How long are you gonna sleep on my couch, follow me around town?"

"Until it's safe,"

"No absolutely not, what would the McGregors think?" I scowl at him, as if I really care what the old people down stairs think about my bed mates.

He merely scowls at me in response. "If you don't let go of me right now I'm going to scream," I say. "I can guarantee that Mrs. McGregor will hear me," When his grip doesn't slacken I suck in a breath to follow through on my word.

"Fine," He growls, "I'll let go, but I'm not leaving."

"Look there has to be some sort of compromise," I say, exhaling as he steps back. His eyebrow arches, and I rub my hands over my face, taking a moment to regain my composure. This is so not how I had pictured my evening going.

Happy leans back against the counter, and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Okay," I sigh, hands dropping to my sides "So your orders are to watch me, make sure nobody tries anything, right?" He nods the affirmative "Okay," I grab the note pad off of the fridge door and snap the pen out of it's holder. I take a couple of minutes and outline a typical week for me, writing down times and address, contact information for people I'm meeting at each location. "Schedule" I say tearing the page off the pad and handing it to Happy. "I'll let Bob or Sara know if there are any changes or additions," He takes the paper and folds it into his pocket, before recrossing his arms.

"So here's the compromise," I say, mimicking his stance against the opposite counter. "You guys will follow me, nothing I can do about that, and I'll do my best to stick to the schedule. "No one stays in my apartment. Period, end of sentence," The scowl, he's been gracing me with, deepens.

"You are not staying here alone at night," He says. "You're vounerable here,"

"I just moved in," I scoff "I'm not moving again, and I am not having the local biker gang camped out on my couch or front lawn, so just forget it,"

"Got a problem with bikers now?" He asks.

"No," I grind out "I don't. Right now I have a problem with the Japanese, apparently,"

"Not a good time to be cute sweetheart," he growls back.

"Well I don't see you trying to come up with any solutions to this situation," I say.

"You're the one making this a thing," he says. "If you'd just chill for a minute,"

I have no idea what he said after that. My ears started to ring, and my vision started to tunnel the edges bleeding red. Every nerve in my body screamed LIMIT. At this point I usually have two choices I can either, rip his eyes from his skull and use the newly vacated space as a candelabra, or have an anursim.

Pushing away from the counter, I grab the phone off the charger in the living room before locking myself in the bathroom. I sit on the closed lid of the toilet, and put my head between my knees taking a couple of minutes to just breath, and let my vision return.

Once I can see the floor tiles again I sit up and punch in a familiar number.

"Hey babygirl what's up?" Sara's voice rings through the head set.

"Why is Happy under the impression that we are living together unil further notice?" I ask her. When silence reigns for a couple of moments I continue. "What's going on Sara?"

"I don't know," She says. "Hap and Bob had a talk the other night, and now he's hell bent on watching over you," She sighes.

"So this isn't some decree from Bob?" I ask.

"Not that I know of honey, but why would the boys tell me?"

"Well thanks for your help," I scoff.

"I don't know what they've cooked up," She affirms "But your granddaddy did call here, I'll talk to Bob see what I can find out,"

"Thanks," I say with more sincerity. "Now how in the hell am I going to get Happy out of my house?"

"And why would you want to do that?" She asks "Weren't you just telling me how great it was to have him in your bed?"

"Yeah well he's not here to heat up the sheets," I sneer "I refuse to be babysat Sara. Tell me who I have to talk to get this shit to stop,"

"Well your granddaddy started this," She sighs "I'm sure he could end it. Have you talked to him? Any of them? About any if this?" She asks.

"No, I talked to Carly and Jarred, their looking into it, but no word on Max," I pinch the bridge of my nose between my fingers. "He's got to be working for Subaki, Max isn't capable of keeping a low profile,"

"Seems to be the general concensious," She says. I can hear the lighter flick as she lights a cigarette.

"Great, okay. Guess I've got to make a couple of more calls," I sigh.

"Take the next couple of days honey," She says "Get this sorted out. I'll cover the shop,"

"Alright," I say, my stomaching knotting. Sara never offers time off, never. Covering that time herself, no fucking way. Whatever is going on it's serious enough for her to want to keep me away from her loved ones for a few days. "I'll see you next week then,"

"Sounds good honey," She says "I'll keep you posted on this end. You do the same,"

"Sure thing," I say "Later,"

"Bye" she clicks off and I'm alone in the bathroom with Happy lurking somewhere outside, while my world crumbles. Christ, what the fuck am I going to do?


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Sorry for the late update. I hope you like this one. Drop a review and let me know.

Disclaimer: I own nothing I profit from nothing

Chapter 15

'Fuck it' I think as I crank on the hot water. 'It's too late tonight to call to New York, it'll have to wait until morning,' Stripping down, I climb into the shower and let the water pelt my face for few minutes.

Letting my head fall forward I brace myself with outstretched arms against the shower wall, hot water sloshing down my neck and shoulders. I need to plan out what I'm going to say to grandpa. Brian Mattice was no push over, and he had already decided that I needed protection. It was going to take some thought and careful maneuvering to get around him.

Actually scoffing, I straighten and grab my shampoo 'Protection my ass, he just wanted to make sure I didn't start any shit out here.' Considering my track record in the trouble department, I can't say that I blame him. But his little trick is causing a lot more trouble than its preventing. I seriously doubt Grandpa wanted a Biker living with me, especially if he knew that I had already slept with said biker. Okay maybe not slept, exactly.

'Definitely gonna leave that part out,' I think rinsing the suds from my hair. 'Nothings happened; Max has been gone for months. If Subaki wanted to make a move he would have by now. He was never known for subtlety or patience, and I can't imagine he's changed that much in nearly a year,'

I finish washing and step out of the shower grab my towel and dry off. Wrapping it around my chest I step out of the bathroom and look down the hall towards the living room. I can see Happy's bald head and shoulders sticking up over the back of the couch as he watches tv. Sighing I turn in the opposite direction and continue down the hall to my bedroom.

Slipping into a cotton night gown with tank straps, I towel dry my hair before giving my bedroom door a thoughtful glance. He was trying to help me out in his own weird, stubborn, pigheaded way. I didn't have to be a total bitch to him.

Moving to the closet, I pull out two extra pillows and a couple of blankets, before heading back down the hall and dumping them on the couch next to Happy. Without saying a word I return to the bedroom, lock my door and cross to my bed. Turning down the covers I sit on the side and stare at my hands, folded in my lap.

They're small, narrow, with long tapered fingers. I've always been a nail biter so they've never been long, but I try to keep them polished. My knuckles, at the base of my fingers are thick from years of smashing them into various body parts of various people. I can't recount where each scar came from anymore.

My eyes flick to the night stand and its drawer. 'This is how it has to be' I think 'How it's always going to be,' I pull the drawer open and stare at the black case inside. 'It'll never change, no matter how far I run.' Reaching inside I lift the case out of its depths and place it on the top of the night stand. Flipping the chrome clasps I tilt the lid back and lift the glock 9 mil out of its velvet bed and run my hand over the barrel.

'You gave me a chance at life once before friend,' I think as I reach back to the case for the loaded clip, sliding it into the gun and chambering a round. 'Here's to hoping I don't have to ask you to do so again,'

Flipping the case closed with my free hand, I place it back in the drawer. After making sure the safety is off, I lay Hiro's gun on the night stand and turning off the light, fall into a restless sleep.

After spending the night tossing and turning, instead of sleeping, I shut off the alarm fifteen minutes before it's supposed to go off. Sighing I remember that I'm not supposed to go to the shop today, or tomorrow. Rubbing my hands over my face I sit up and grab the phone off the charger.

'Might as well get this over with,' I think as I dial in a phone number I have known all my life. It rings three times before my grandmothers voice comes across the line.

"Hi hon," She says cheerfully.

"Hey gram, how are you?" I ask, mimicking her cheery tone.

"Good," she says "Up every four hours with the new lambs,"

"Ah," I say a smile coming to my face. I remember those days, trudging out to the barn in all kinds of weather, arms weighted down with bottles of formula. Every year there were a few who couldn't nurse on their own, it makes for a very long six weeks. "I really don't envy you, sorry,"

"Yes, well, that's life dear," She sighs, "I suppose your calling to talk to your grandfather?"

"Yeah," I reply, not bothering to repress the sigh.

"So you've heard that Max is back?" She asks.

"Yes," I say glaring at my bedroom door, trying to burn holes through it and into the man currently occupying my couch. "Why didn't any of you tell me you'd heard?"

"From what I understand it couldn't be confirmed, not until recently," I can see her shrug it off. "There was no need to worry you with it until we had proof, and now we do,"

"It's true?" I ask, shoulders slumping against the head board as I lean back against it.

"'Fraid so,"

"God,"

"Oh here, hold on your grandpa just came in," I hear her hand him the phone, and tell him it's me. Twice, loudly and my smile splits my face. He can hear just fine. He just does it to get her riled up. Fifty years of marriage, four children, seven grandchildren, and they still picked on each other, flirted, and joked. Maybe it wasn't as if they were still teenagers in love, but the love was always there, you couldn't think of either person without seeing it, feeling it.

It was everything I wanted. Everything I thought I had lost when I lost Max.

"Hi baby," He says "How are you?"

"Hi grandpa," I say "I'm good, how are you?" We chit chat about the farm for a while, and I get to hear all about the new tractor, the birthing experience of the twin lambs born last weekend, and my cousin Catherine's latest egg hunt. My heart twists with longing as we laugh at parts of his story. I can see it all so clearly, as if I were there, and part of my heart breaks because I wasn't.

Deciding not to waste anymore time, feeling one final wrench I ask about the situation with Max.

"We don't know how he did it yet, but yeah," He sighs wearily, not a sound I am accustomed to. "A source inside Jubi's organization confirmed a couple of days ago that Max had been meeting with Jubi. Apparently not all of Max's old connections got the message; he's been seen at the Dark Horse, and a couple of low brow old haunts. Somebody hooked him up with enough cash to get Jubi's attention, and he and something Jubi wanted bad enough to make the deal," He pauses here. "Our source was taken out a couple of nights ago, that's why I called Bob,"

"One dead informant doesn't mean Max and Jubi are coming after me," I say, trying the reasonable approach. "Unless there's something else?"

"Nothing yet," He says evenly, and I can tell he's preparing for battle.

'Damn,' I think 'Not going to be as easy as I'd hoped,'

"Okay well, don't you think it's a little premature to call in the Sons? Couldn't you talk to Bob again?"

"No," He says "I asked that you be protected and that's how it's going to stay until I decide otherwise,"

"Look," I sigh, my patience wearing just as thin as his. "I don't need a baby sitter; just get Bob to call off the overnight detail. I work at the shop; I'm with the club all day. No one is going to mess with me there,"

"Exactly why I'm not worried about what is going to happen while you're at work," He says "Just when you're anywhere else. You keep the tail. I don't care if he has to sleep on your couch,"

I grimace at his words. "And if I told you he already was?"

"I'd have to remember to thank Bob for working so quickly to ensure the safety of someone I love," The only thing worse than parental guilt is grand-parental guilt. I guess it's because they've had the extra generation to perfect it.

"I don't have to like it," I say, stopping myself from crossing my arms over my chest and pouting like a petulant child.

"Never said you did baby," I can hear him smile, knowing he's won without an argument.

"You'll let me know when this is over?" I say

"Yeah baby, I'll keep in touch. I love you,"

"Love you too grandpa," I say.

"Bye,"

"Bye," He clicks off, and I hang the phone back on the charger.

'Shit,' Tossing back the comforter, I grab my robe off the foot of the bed and cram my arms in the sleeves before sinching it at my waist. Stopping off in the bathroom to brush my teeth, I make my way to the kitchen to start the coffee.

Glancing at the couch on my way through I notice that Haps still asleep, face down on my couch, one arm hanging off the edge, the tattoos on his shoulders peeking out from underneath the blankets.

Once the coffees on and the cats been fed I cross back to the couch, noting that it's 7 according to the clock on the cable box.

"Hap," I say as I approach him. He inhales and rolls over, dark eyes squinting at me from across the coffee table.

"What?" He asks, gravelly voice even more raspy than usual.

"What time do you have to be at the shop?" I ask.

"Whenever you go in," He says.

"Sara gave me some time off," I say, shrugging. "Coffee's on, but you can go back to sleep if you want. I've got some calls to make,"

"Wake me for breakfast," He replies and rolls back over, covering his head with the blanket. I think about flipping him off, than realize the futility and stupidity of the action. Plus he'd break my finger off, if he happened to catch me. Grabbing a cup of coffee I head back to my bed room and dress in jeans and a tee shirt. Bare foot I pad back down the hall and fetch my lap top.

Taking a minute to make the bed, I settle in and turn to the morning news, on the little tv I keep in the bedroom. The peppy blonde anchor woman introduces the meteorologist who looks like he's fresh out of college, as I boot up. If Max is in New York, I'll find him and if he's working for Jubi, only God will be able to save him.

Three hours and several emails, text messages, and phone calls later, I've caught his scent. He isn't in Jubi's territory, exactly, he keeps to the neutral blocks in between. There's been no specific contact between him and Jubi or anyone in his organization either, from what I can tell so far.

He's back to his old ways, that's for sure. Dropping cash on hookers, driving and expensive car, tailored suits, gambling. I've never seen someone work a card game like Max. He's a fucking genius when it comes to reading body language.

To his credit he seems to be steering clear of the drug and gun trade, but has a couple of girls working the high end market. Probably old booty calls he's gotten hooked on something or just sweet talked into helping him out. Poor bitches. He's been making the circuit at all the right parties, flaunting his harem, offering prime pussy.

Jarred wants his head on a spike and I'm tempted to come to New York and oblige his request. But since several of my other contacts seem to be ready to take care of it themselves, I decide against blowing my frequent flier miles.

Finishing my cold cup of coffee, I scan the screen of the laptop as it searches for the signal of his new cell phone, waiting for the little green light to blink on.

'And that is why you don't fuck with other peoples pussy, asshole,' I think, smiling as I remember how willingly Hanz coughed up the digits. From what the angry German had told me a couple of the girls Max was now working had belonged to his cousin, who had received a rather sever beating when he tried to enforce his claim.

"Come on you little bastard, I know you're here somewhere," I say to myself.

"It's not healthy to talk to yourself," Happy says, leaning against my door jam. I had been so absorbed that I didn't even hear him open the door.

"Something I can help you with?" I ask, turning back to the screen.

"Breakfast," He says, stepping into the room.

"Help yourself to whatever's out there," I say, trying to ignore the fact that he's coming closer.

"What are you doing?" He asks, frowning when I don't look up.

"Research," I say, 'Blink Damn It! You couldn't have gotten rid of the phone already, you're not that smart,'

"For?" He asks, hovering.

"A new cook book I'm writing," I say, sarcastically, finally tearing my gaze from the screen to glare at him. "What do you think?"

"Found anything?" He ignores my attitude.

"Yes, a white rabbit, a march hare and this caterpillar that smokes a hookah,"

He slams the top of the computer closed, and grabs my arm, dragging me off the bed and to my toes.

"I am not going to ask again," He grinds out between his teeth, lips snarling at me. "At the moment I am Commander-Fucking-General of your life," He gives me a shake for emphasis "When I ask a question, you answer, and it will be the truth. You do what I say when I say it, the way I tell you to," His grip tightens until I know there will be bruises as we glare at each other.

"Get your hands off me," I snarl right back. When he doesn't comply I pull back as far as his grasp will let me, grab a hold of his forearms and try to swing my knee into his rib cage.

Instead of hitting my mark, the second he feels my weight shift he lifts me completely off my feet and spins around before slamming me into the wall hard enough to send sparks flying behind my eyes.

"Listen and listen good Princess," He says shoving his leg roughly between mine, and pinning my hands over my head. "I was offered this job because I'm the best. Bob trusts me, it's time you started,"

"Well you're doing a great job of earning that trust," I say glaring daggers at him. I had hoped that the distraction of the comment would give me enough time to force my knee into his testicles, but again he out maneuvered me.

"Stop fighting me," He growled. "I'm trying to protect you, why can't you see that? I'm here to keep you safe,"

"I can take care of myself," I spit back.

"Yeah looks that way," He says, snarl slipping into a smirk. "I could do anything I wanted right now and there's nothing you can do to stop me,"

My blood chills at the icy gleam in his eye, and I know that he's imagining all the things that this position would allow him to do. He's right, there's no way for me to get leverage, nothing for me to grab a hold of. He could cuff my wrists in one of his hands and have the other to do with as he pleased.

"Get away," I shudder, my body quivering in frustration. "Don't touch me," struggling against his hold on my wrists.

"Then answer me," He says.

"Fuck you," I growl back, bucking my hips against him, trying to push away from the wall.

"The two things I'm know for," He says flatly "Are my patience and my brutality,"

I stop struggling against him, taking several deep breathes to calm myself enough to be rational.

"Yes, I found him," I grind out between my teeth. "You were right, Commander,"

He drops me to my feet and steps back.

"Max is in New York, a stones throw from Jubi's door," I return the glare he's shooting at me. "If you hadn't closed my lap top I would have had is exact location by now," He crosses his arms over his chest, refusing to step back farther so I can move away from the wall. I rake my hands through my hair as the minutes tick by and we continue to glare at each other. "What the fuck do you want? That's all I know,"

"Breakfast," He says.

"Fine," I push past him and storm into the kitchen. I grab eggs and milk out of the fridge before slamming it shut. Cracking eggs, adding milk, salt and pepper I whip the hell out the concoction before slapping butter in the cast iron skillet I toss on the stove. Dumping the mess into the pan I scramble the eggs, slide them on a plate and dump it in front of Happy who has been watching me from the other side of the counter.

He grabs my wrist as I move past him, on my way back to my room. I pull away, but as usual his grip is like a vise. I turn to face him, not bothering to keep the exhaustion from my eyes.

"Since you obviously aren't going to join me you should sleep. You look like shit," he says, letting me go before diving into his plate of food.

Glaring at the back of his head for a moment, I turn slam the bedroom door before locking myself inside.

'Fuck you,' I think, as I move as I move to the bed 'Sleep, I'll sleep when I know where my shit head of an ex has gotten to, not until then you pompous ass,'

I settle back against my pillows and set my laptop in it's designated place and boot up. Or try to.

I hit the power button several times, to no avail. Sighing I reach over to the night stand for the adapter to plug it in. It's gone. Narrowing my eyes as a sudden thought dawns I turn my laptop over and see that my battery is gone.

'Mother-Fucking-Son-of-a-Bitch!' I think. 'When the hell did he have time to strip my computer?'


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Hello everyone =) sorry for the long wait between chapters. Life happens. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: As always S.O.A. and all affiliated characters and locations are the products of Mr. Sutter. I own nothing I profit from nothing.

**Chapter 16**

After fishing the backup battery out of the night stand and snapping it into place I resume my search for Max. I spent about two minutes plotting my revenge on Happy for taking the battery to my computer before I thought better of it. No point making a bad situation worse.

I couldn't hear him moving around out there now that he'd turned on the TV, and I hoped that he was sitting on the couch and not prowling around my bedroom door. Sleep would not be coming to me until I knew the score on any deal Max and Jubi had worked out. The fact that I was stuck on the other side of the country, and was there for useless in the search effort, was going to make me crazy.

If I could find a way to get to New York, I could slip into the city, hit up my old haunts. I knew people who were loyal enough to keep their mouths shut about me being in town. I knew how to get arms, ammo, blades. A week tops and Max wouldn't be an issue anymore.

With Mr. Sunshine sleeping on my couch it would now be impossible to just sneak away, and there was no way the local Sons were going to let me just up and run home.

Hell it was a bad idea anyway. If push came to shove I wasn't sure I would be able to pull the trigger if need be. I had loved the man once. The soft spot I had for him was definitely not healed over enough to end him. He would know that and would exploit any advantage he had.

Not to mention I'd be walking into a trap for sure. It was stupid. Better to let grandpa and the boys take care of it. If anything even happened; which was doubtful.

At some point in my mental triad I started passing. My circuit had brought me back to the bureau where my cigarettes and lighter lay. Taking one out and lighting it I cross the room and sit in the overstuffed chair in the corner. It's sky blue and cream paisley with clawed feet and wingback. Pulling the blanket my grandmother knitted over me I continue to smoke my cigarette, flicking my ashes into the ashtray on the night stand occasionally.

The whole thing was making me twitchy. Stubbing the cigarette out, I snuggle back into the chair and pull the blanket up to my chin. And that's where I wake up four hours later to the knock at my bedroom door.

Sitting bolt upright the blanket slips to the floor, pooling around my feet.

"Just a min..." I say before falling flat on my face when I try to move to the door.

"You ok?" Comes a gravelly voice through the door.

"Peachy," I mumble into the grey carpet, before pushing myself up and kicking the blanket off my feet. "What's up?" I ask opening the door.

"Koz is coming over, thought I'd warn you," He says, giving me a cool once over.

"Why is Kozik coming over?" I ask, combing my hair out of my face with my fingers, and straightening my sweat shirt.

"Cause he wants too," Hap shrugs and heads back down the hall.

'Ugh just what I fucking need,' I think, as the doorbell rings.

"Hey," I yell to Happy. "Give me my battery back,"

"Later," He says as he reaches for the lock on the door.

"No, I need it, I was in the middle something when you took it," I say leaning against the counter.

"After Koz leaves," He says.

"It's my battery and I want it back now," I repeat as calmly as I can.

"Sounds like my kind of party. Give her the battery back and let's get down to business," Koz grins over the two cases of Sam Adams.

"I'm talking about the battery for my lap top," I say to Koz. He crosses the threshold and sets the cases on the counter next to me.

"Bummer," he says, grinning slyly at me.

I tsk and roll my eyes at him, my scowl landing on the statue that is Happy. Realizing it's futile to argue with him, I sigh and slump my shoulders.

"Alright fine," I grumble, remembering the cell in the pocket of my jeans. If anyone found anything they'd call. "Want a beer?" I ask Koz, turning towards him with a sweet smile. "I have cold,"

"Sure doll," He smirks, leaning on his elbows, back pressed into the edge of the counter.

"Hap?" I ask, raising a brow as I pull the fridge open. I pop three tops off the Sam Adams, at his nod, and pass them around. "Salute,"

We clink long necks and take a slug.

'Fuck it,' I think 'Nothing I can do for now anyway. Might as well get a little blurry,'

"So," Koz says lighting up a cig. "What's on the agenda tonight kiddies?"

"That depends," I say "I've got jack in the fridge, so we'll have to order food. There's a really good pizza place that delivers in the neighborhood,"

"Works for me," Koz says.

Hap nods, once.

"What do you guys like on your pie?" I ask. We decide on a large pizza with everything except anchovies, two dozen hot wings, and a large order of bread sticks. Happy wouldn't let me open the door when the kid came to drop off the food; he also refused to let me pay him back.

"Well that was great," Koz says, taking a swig off his third beer as he leans back in his chair. "Nice little neighborhood you got here princess,"

"Yeah," I say, "Thanks," Momentarily stunned by the use of Haps moniker for me. "Uh, how about some cards?" I ask "Or a board game of some kind? Don't suppose either of you are any good at Scattagories?"

After receiving blank stares from both men I sigh, "Well what do you want to do then?"

"You that desperate for a distraction girly?" Koz smirks as he leans forward and sets his elbows on the table. He's sitting acrossed from me, while Hap had taken the seat to my left around my little kitchen table.

"I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself, thanks," I reply gaining a full grin from the blonde killer. "Pig," I smirk back at him.

"Sorry babe, you walked into that one on your own," His grin spreads when I flip him off.

"Yeah I totally did," I can feel the smile spread across my face and can't keep the laugh from bubbling out of my belly. "Who wants to smoke while we figure out what we are going to do tonight?"

"We are not going out," Happy says as I get up to grab the smoke box from the living room.

"Understood," I say returning a moment later. "So let's get blitzed and figure out a way to salvage this evening. Please,"

Taking out the pot I break up enough for two fat joints. As the buds crumble between my fingers all I can think about is how I don't want to stare at my computer screen, or wait for my cell to go off any more. The thought of spending the next few days, weeks, hell maybe months waiting for the other shoe to drop was enough to chill me to my bones.

Max was out there, he didn't care about what happened to me anymore. I was no longer useful enough to him to warrant his protecting me. To him I was probably worth more dead than alive. The thought was terrifying. Until we had people in place to keep an eye on his movements I would not sleep easily.

Always being on guard, always being prepared for the worst possible scenario is an exhausting existence. I had run away from that feeling in New York, coming here trying to escape it.

Twisting the first joint closed my mind wanders to what my future was going to hold if I didn't find a way to feel safe.

Eventually the paranoia would set in and I would alienate everyone close to me, out of fear of betrayal. Then the running would start again.

But there was nowhere else to go now. This had been my haven, my chance at peace.

Sprinkling the bud into the second paper I wonder what I would do when the fear dragged me down far enough to make me run. To drive me from my new home.

To leave this time I would need a new identity, which meant killing off my old one.

Could I really do that to my family?

Could I just disappear and start over?

A clean slate.

No past to haunt me.

I could be anyone.

I could be no one.

'Maybe there is something to this,' I think.

"Yo! Murphy," Koz says, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry, zoned for a minute there," I blush as I hand him the finished joint. I take a slug of beer as he lights it.

"Guess so," he says eyeing as he takes a second toke off the joint. I hate the look he is giving me. Like he knows what I've been thinking.

He passes the joint to Happy and the glance they share is nearly imperceptible.

"So a game," Koz says, leaning back in his chair and scratching his chin. "I've never been one for board games. Sorry doll," He smirks at me "How about cards,"

"What game?" I ask taking the joint Happy hands me.

"Poker?" Koz says.

"What kind?" I ask, "And do not even bother saying strip because it is not going to happen,"

His face falls into a pout almost comically. He really is like a big kid sometimes; it's what the ladies love about him. That false innocence.

"Well then I'm out of ideas," He says.

"Drinking game?" I offer. "A little High Low maybe?"

"If I'm not getting laid, I'm at least gonna get wasted," Koz flashes that Cheshire cat grin at me, his hazel eyes twinkling with excitement. It was kind of scary.

"You better hope the game goes easy on you," I say, receiving a quirked eyebrow in response. "You get too wasted and you'll be sharing the couch with Happy," I grin at the glares I receive from both men while grabbing the cards from side board.

Three games later we are all laughing at Koz's story about this women he meet on a run. It was a rare one, there wasn't any sex involved. We had each had about a 6 pack and were on the verge of sparking the second joint.

I had a nice buzz going and had managed to forget all about my problems for the last hour or so as the boys told funny stories about each other and made crude jokes. I was grateful that Koz was such a chatter box, since Happy remained his usual aloof self.

"So babe," Koz says, "Tell me, why is Killer sleeping on your couch? He in the dog house already?"

I stare at him for a second, blanking on a response. "Umm, well,"

"Some asshole has been breaking into houses in this nice little neighborhood the last couple of nights," Happy says, much to my amazement. "Sara wanted me to keep an eye on the place, stay over a couple of nights until the cops do their job,"

"Must be nice bein' the princess," Koz winks at me.

"Yeah, it rules," I dead pan.

"Not everybody gets such an experienced bodyguard just because of a little B. n' E." He says; eyes focused on Happy, trying to read I don't know what in those stone features.

I'm saved from having to formulate a plausible story by my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. The L.E.D. screen telling me it's time to get back to reality. "Sorry guys gotta take this," I say excusing myself. Walking down the hall I step into my bedroom and close the door before flipping the phone open.

"Good news baby, we found him,"

"I love you Jarred," I smile tiredly into the phone. "Now tell me what my ex has been up too,"

"Too early to tell sweetie, but we've got guys on it. Won't be long before we know what his plans are. Max was never subtle,"

"Let's hope he hasn't changed. Always easier to track a creature of habit," I say, sitting in the paisley chair, feeling my shoulders relax. He's in New York, not connected with Jubi. Yet. People I trusted were going to be watching him. I'd know the second the little shit turned on me. I could be prepared for it.

I would be prepared for it.


End file.
